Whose Line is It Anyway: Love Hina Edition
by JonJ
Summary: 1000 Points to...Keitaro? Motoko and Naru cracking Bald Jokes at Colin? Shinobu cooking for Wayne? Ryan still making fun of Drew? Best of all, how long can they keep the girls in the dark about it all being a game, and when they find out? CH11 finally up!
1. Segment 1

Disclaimer: All characters/registered names are not mine, and owned by their respective owners, and are used for entertainment purposes...

(parentheses) indicates actions

**Bold underline** indicates a caption on the TV screen

Special Thanks to my buddy NewLyfe06 for editing/proofreading for me...

* * *

Drew: Good evening everybody and welcome to a special One hour Love Hina edition of Whose Line is it Anyway—on tonight's show, Shinobu's favorite singer, Wayne Brady (smiles brightly); Captain Hair, Colin Mochrie (imitates Dr. Evil with pinky in mouth); too tall for the Hinata-Sou walkways, Ryan Stiles (acts like he's steering and shifting gears), and special guest, Landlord of Hinata-Sou, Keitaro Urashima (throws hands in air like he doesn't care)! And, I'm your host, Drew Carey, c'mon down and let's have some fun! 

Drew: Welcome to the special Love Hina edition of Whose Line is it Anyway-the show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. That's right the points don't matter, just like Kentaro's role—it doesn't matter.

Kentaro: What the hell?

Drew: Quick Colin, do Jurassic Park!

(Colin gets up as a T-rex and chases Kentaro off screen, while everyone laughs)

Drew: That was great Colin, he didn't see that one coming! (Colin waves and smiles) Hey, for a special bonus, the Hina Girls (Except Haruka) know nothing of this taping of Whose Line in Hinata-Sou. We have used a spare room to house the improvisers, and myself, while placing several hidden cameras, mics, and speakers (for the buzzer and doorbell) around Hinata-Sou that even Kaolla Suu herself can't find. That's right, 60 minutes of the regular Whose Line action packed fun, all in Hinata-Sou! Also, normally at the end we pick a winner, and they get to do a little something special with me, but in the second to last game, we will reveal ourselves to the Hina girls, and we will pick one of them as a winner to star in the last game. Ready to get started and see how this works?

(The audience cheers)

Drew: Our first game is called 'Superheros' and it's for all four of you with a Twist. You're all going to act out a scene as unlikely superheroes; Keitaro, you're going to start followed by Colin, Ryan and Wayne. They're each going to make up each other's superhero names as they come in and to add a twist, we've just spilled the last of Naru's tea on the floor in the front foyer, and Keitaro is going to go down there as a superhero, while the other three sneak around to the front door to jump in. Now, what I need from the audience is a name of an unlikely superhero for Keitaro.

(audience yelling suggestions)

Drew: I heard Captain Crys-a-lot! So Captain Crys-a-lot, what are you gonna do!

Keitaro: Riiiiiight…

(Kei runs downstairs as Naru proceeds to yell about the dirty floor and panic about no more tea)

Naru: My tea! Keitaro, you gotta clean this up and find a way for me to get more tea in the next 20 seconds so I can study or else!

Keitaro: (gulps, then assumes character role as bawling) Oh No! They said don't cry over spilt tea! WAAAAH! I hope my super-friends arrive soon!

Colin: (jumping in) I hurried in as fast as I could!

Keitaro: (weeping) WAAAH! Thank goodness you're here Butt-Buffer Man! Naru's tea spilled making a mess and there's no more tea here!

(Naru is left speechless with the arrival of Colin, audience laughs)

Colin: (sits on the floor pretending his butt is an electric floor buffer with appropriate noises) What are we gonna do! (Looks at Naru) I need a towel to wipe the spill with!

(Naru grabs a towel and gives it to Colin when Ryan nonchalantly walks in)

Ryan: I was sleeping until I was splashed in the face by green tea falling from the ceiling!

Colin: (buffing the floor still) Oh, It's 'Bumps-His-Head-On-Everything Man'!

Ryan: (giving Colin a dirty look; bumps his head on the ceiling beam) OW! What's wrong here!

Keitaro: There's spilt tea on the floor and There's no more here!

Ryan: (hits his head on the floor while Colin butt-buff's the mess up with the towel) OW! Why did this tea have to get spilt in the first place!

Wayne: (Jumps in) I'm sorry I was caught in traffic!

Ryan: (hits head on door) Wow it's the OW South Park Chef Man!

Keitaro: Waaah! Chef-man, there's this spill and Naru has no more tea!

Wayne: Now, now, children, there's plenty of lovin' to go around!

Naru: Keitaro, what's your problem and who are these people!

Wayne: I got it! My chef's hat can finish the butt-buffing and Kyle gave me this box of green tea for my birthday yesterday that I hate! (Gives the unopened box to Naru, who again is speechless) Got to go now, my Chocolate Salty Balls are burning! (runs out)

Keitaro (sobbing) W-w-why couldn't I think of that? T-th-thanks, South Park Chef Man…

Ryan: OW! This ceiling is too low for me! I'm gonna go check the plumbing under my house! (runs away)

Keitaro: (Now weeping) B-b-but, isn't there a l-l-lot of p-p-pipes to hit your h-h-head on? (sighs) Oh well!

Colin: (throws towel out of view and feels his butt) Oh, I knew I should have brought toilet paper! See ya!

Keitaro: (weeping) An-nother crisis av-verted….

BUZZ-buzz-buzz-buzz!

Naru: What the hell is your problem crybaby! (Smashes Keitaro's face into the floor) You're such a pervert for having a guy clean the floor with his butt, but at least the tea makes up for it…

Keitaro: (Bawling) WAAAAH! I need to go to the bathroom! (runs upstairs quickly and disappears to the spare room, and locks the door, while everyone laughs.) That was absolutely great. Naru is still in shock!

Naru: (back downstairs) What the hell was that buzzing sound?

Drew: That was fantastic, I give you each 1000 points and a bonus 5000 points to Keitaro for getting his face smashed into the butt-cleaned floor.

Ryan: That girl was clueless. I think she was scared of my height.

Colin: Well you are taller than some trees! (Drew Laughs)

Drew: Alright, lets continue with a game called 'Weird Newscasters' for all four of you. Colin, you are gonna be the anchor on a local news program, Keitaro, you are the co-anchor. Keitaro, you are gonna play Naru Narusegawa who has had a bit too much to drink—just like when she hangs out with Kitsune, right?

Keitaro: (Chuckling) Naru's gonna be pissed!

Drew: Hey, that's theater, right? Wayne's doing the sports, and Wayne, you are a werewolf on a chain with a shock-collar.

Wayne: (Laughing hysterically) What!

Drew: (Shows Wayne the card, Laughing) Sorry man, it's comedy, right? OK, Ryan, you are doing the weather as usual, and you are psycho with a chainsaw!

Ryan: I did that in a previous episode! (sighs)

Drew: Yes, but it's funny. You can slay the werewolf if you want.

Ryan: Yesss! Ok, you got it.

Drew: Now the Love Hina edition twist to this game is that the girls are all in the Living Room thinking the normal news is coming on. But, as usual Haruka knows the true details and will clue them in that this is a new newscast, and, as usual, the captions will show to add a twist. So Colin, as soon as you hear the music, start this sad newscast.

(Meanwhile, downstairs, the girls are in the living room, and Haruka speaks up)

Haruka: Well, the news is fixing to come on. Kitsune, will you change to channel 4?

Kitsune: Sure, Haruka, but doesn't the news come on channel 10?

Haruka: This is supposed to be a comical look at the news, kind of like 'The Daily Show' but it's directed by Drew Carey…

Motoko: Are you sure you want the news in comedy form?

Naru: Yeah and where is that idiot Keitaro? He always watches the news with us…

Motoko: I don't care that he doesn't show up! I like the peace and quiet with no peeping.

Naru: He had some goofy friends show up earlier to clean up a stupid spill, and they were all acting like weird superheroes, while Keitaro cried like a baby.

Haruka: (secretly giggles) Keitaro said he had to go run an errand, so he will miss the news with us.

Shinobu: That's too bad… Come to think of it, I haven't seen him all morning. I hope he is ok.

(News comes on and Music Starts)

Naru: Is that Keitaro sitting on that chair next to the anchor? What the hell is he doing there?

(Girls start muttering comments about Keitaro on TV)

Kitsune: Shut up, y'all, let's see what this is about…

Colin: Welcome to the morning news. I'm your anchor, Don… Ask-me-for-anymore-money-kitsune. (Drew Laughs, Motoko mutters something on the lines of 'Is he for real?' whilst Kitsune mutters 'did he just say my name?') Our top story today: Tragedy was strangely averted after famous pop-singer Amy Lee from Evanescence tried to cross a street that was being repaved, and was experiencing rush-hour. The singer was violently flung around by 14 cars, 2 buses and an 18-wheeler, all traveling at speeds in excess of 50 miles per hour. She then landed on a lane covered in hot asphalt face-first, where she was flattened by a steamroller, after which she got up, dusted herself off, and simply stated to horrified onlookers before leaving the scene, "My Immortal…" (Drew laughs more)

Colin: And now over to my co-anchor Hinata Dat-good-in-bed. Hinata…

Keitaro: **Naru Narusegawa who has had a bit too much to drink** Today, thaaat daaamn perrert walkt-int haaasprings on-us giiirls again.

Naru: I don't act like that towards him!

Suu/Shinobu: Yes you do, Naru!

Keitaro: (Starts swaying, acting like he is launching a Naru punch) I shooowd him a thiig-or-to. (falls off stool, then gets back up and looks to Colin) Saaaaay, you think-my b-b-breaaaasts are ge-ing biiigerrr?

Colin: (looking at Keitaro's chest) I would say they look closer to mosquito bites myself.

Keitaro: Whyyyy-I-outta… (acts like he is fixing to barf)

Colin: More on that coming up later.

(All the Girls except Naru are laughing)

Naru: That damn idiot. I'm gonna cremate him when he gets back!

Suu: Does cremate taste good?

Kitsune: Hey Naru, will you tell him to bring me back some more sake?

All girls: NO!

Colin: And now over to our big guy in sports, Joe Bigtooth! Joe...

Wayne: **Werewolf on a chain with a shock collar** Aroooooh! Today in the football game the Steelers made a 20 yard drive like this… (starts running acting like he is in the game, and… ZAP!) Arooooh, that hurt. I am hungry! (Runs towards Keitaro, growling and… ZAP!) What the… (ZAAAAP!) Damn!

Colin: Thanks for that shocking report! Speaking of Shocking, lets go to our favorite weatherman, Jason, for the latest on the lightning! Jason!

Ryan: **Psycho with a chainsaw** (Acts like he is starting a chainsaw) Rnnnnnng! Rnnng! Rnnngggggggggngngngngnggggg! We're expecting typhoons in Hokkaido today… So lets just get rid of Hokkaido! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! (Acts like he is cutting Hokkaido off the map)

Wayne: (Snarling Viciously)

Keitaro: (barfs towards Wayne)

Ryan: (chainsaw) grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr (chasing after Wayne, cuts Wayne's leg)

Wayne: (squealing in pain) Oww oww oww oww! ZAP! Owwww! ZAP!

Colin: And that's all the time we have for the news today, join us again tomorrow morning! Good Day!

BUZZZZ!

(Haruka changes the channel)

Haruka: That was informative… Let's see what is on 'The View'…

Naru: What the hell was going on with that news show? They were all weird!

Motoko: That _man_ was on it as well, and he was mocking you, Naru…

Shinobu: I actually thought it was kinda funny. I didn't know Keitaro did good impersonations. That sports guy looks kinda familiar…

Suu: I want bananas… Oh, that Jason guy needs to loan me his chainsaw for my new Mecha-Tama invention! Can we get Keitaro to ask him for us?

Naru: First off, that tall guy can't be named Jason. Those 3 guys with Keitaro on that newscast were the same guys acting like those stupid superheroes when I made the pervert clean the tea off the floor!

Motoko: What is that perverted idiot up to?

-Meanwhile-

Drew: That was great, I give Wayne 50,000 points for acting like he was getting shocked all the time, and Keitaro, 10,000 for throwing up all over the place!

Keitaro: Awesome. This is easier than my Tokyo U entrance exams!

Drew: We'll be right back after these commercials, so don't go anywhere!

* * *

Well guys, please give me some reviews. I have just finished Chapter 2 (the second segment of the 'show') and it looks good so far. Also, one game I plan on including later on in the show will be 'Quick Change' and it will involve the girls.. Thats the only spoiler I'm giving so far... 


	2. Segment 2

Disclaimer: All characters/registered names are not mine, and owned by their respective owners, and are used for entertainment purposes...

(parentheses) indicates actions

**Bold underline** indicates a caption on the TV screen

* * *

Author's Notes:

Special thanks goes to my buddy NewLyfe06 for being my editor and sharing some good laughs over this story, and a big thanks to the reviewers, even the one sole negative feedback!

Alright to answer some questions:

1. Added Kanako, Mutsumi, and Sarah, and Seta will probably make an appearance

2. I will add 'Props' in since everyone is so excited about it, and Irish Drinking Song will make an appearance much later in the game.

3. Let me know what you think of the possibility of adding the game 'Hollywood Director'...

4. Yes I will do some more Naru bashing, but she and Keitaro are seeing each-other in this... However, no one said he couldn't vent his frustration from getting his ass kicked all the time! ;-)

5. Segment 3 is about 40 percent complete!

Thanks again, and please keep the reviews coming! I love to hear everyone's feedback!

Without further ado, I bring you Segment 2!

* * *

Drew: Welcome back to our Love Hina edition of Whose Line is it Anyway, the show where everything is made up and the points are just like the door locks at Hinata-Sou—they don't matter. Our next game is going to take place during a forced commercial break of 'The View' since the girls are all downstairs watching it… The name of this game is 'Greatest Hits' and it's for Colin, Ryan and Wayne. Since this is a special Love Hina edition of Whose Line, the name of the album will be songs of Hinata-Sou. Colin and Ryan are two TV commercial pitchmen trying to sell the latest compellation album, and Wayne is gonna sing snippets of the songs with the help of Laura Hall and Linda Taylor.. So lets hear Songs of Hinata Sou!

- Meanwhile -

Naru: I wonder what the perverted idiot is up to right now.

Suu: He needs to hurry home. I want to meet his friend Jason and borrow that chainsaw!

Naru: Suu, I told you before, that was just a character act, and the saw was invisible and made up!

Kitsune: Well, he normally wouldn't be here anyways. Why would Keitaro want to watch 'The View?' He's a guy, and plus, isn't he supposed to be studying?

Shinobu: I do hope nothing bad has happened to him. He hasn't even come down for lunch, and I prepared his favorite miso soup.

(Suddenly, the TV starts losing its signal, goes blank)

Naru: Dammit, what is wrong with this cable connection!

Motoko: Did we remember to pay the bill?

(Screen comes back; Ryan and Colin are sitting in stools)

Motoko: What is this?

Naru: Hey those guys suck! Let's change it…wait! Those two guys were with Keitaro during his fake super friends stunt.

Ryan: We're sorry, we're tired of watching 'The View', so we're interrupting the show to sell you CD's of stuff you don't care about.

Colin: That show is CRAP anyways! This week, songs of our favorite all-girls dorm, Hinata-Sou!

Shinobu: Songs about…us?

Naru: Hey that show is not crap!

Colin: Yes, you heard me, that show is CRAP! (As if Colin could actually hear Naru contradict him. Drew did, however, and starts cracking up)

Others: Sshhhh!

Ryan: 50 songs on 96 CDs, all about Hinata-Sou! Two CDs have songs on them, and the rest have recordings of Drew Carey counting his money!

Colin: Wow, what an offer! (Colin and Ryan chuckle, Drew pouts) As our regular viewers know, I was a child of the 70s, and who could forget that famous 70's artist, Elton John!

Ryan: (Overenthusiastically) He has some AWESOME sunglasses doesn't he!

Colin: (looks at Ryan funny) Drank too much coffee this morning?

Ryan: You know it!

Colin: (sighs and shakes his head, Drew laughs) Anyway, Elton John had that great Hinata-Sou themed song, simply titled, 'Don't Walk in the Hot Springs while the Girls are There.'

(Music Starts to the tune of "Don't let the Sun Go Down on Me")

Wayne: (singing)

I can't seem to find a good place to bathe

I took a chance, and went towards the springs

I was hoping that no one would be in there

So I went in, and much to my surprise

In front of my eyes, were 5 lovely ladies.

But they did not listen to my apologies

One threw a punch, while another pulled her sword

I went flying back into the hallway

Closed the door, and left me injured in the wall, oh

(Chorus)

Don't Walk in the Hot Springs while the girls are there,

Although I searched real hard, there's always someone there I see

They'd just allow a fragment of their rage, to hit the air…

But walking in on them is like the fists coming down on me..

Shinobu: I knew that guy looked familiar—that's my favorite singer—Wayne Brady…

Colin: Wow, what a song, didn't that bring a tear to your eye?

Ryan: Only because I was forced to hear it.

Colin: Sometimes I wonder about you!

Ryan: (Chuckles) How much would you pay for this CD set, Colin?

Colin: (shouting ecstatically) Why I would trade in my tin foil ball and an empty tissue box for this CD-Set!

Ryan: (laughing) What! I see you had some coffee too!

Colin: It's that darn Coffee again!

Ryan: Well, the price of this CD set is ummm, why…. Hmmmm… I can't rememb-…

Colin: (Touches Ryan's head) Sleep!

(Ryan falls into a trance)

Colin: The price on this CD set is $49.95! (Touches Ryan's head) Awake!

(Ryan wakes up)

Ryan: …that coffee again…

Colin: (Chuckles) Yeah…

Ryan: Hey Col, what comes to mind when I say Meow?

Colin: Oh, our old toaster!

Ryan: (grinning, dumbfounded) Why's that, Colin?

Colin: That's how we dried the cat off after washing that guy's burnoose during the laundry mission—whatever his name was!

Ryan: (laughing, also Drew and Wayne laughing) No, Colin. That's wrong! I was talking about the Stray Cats!

Colin: Oh!

Ryan: Yes, the Stray Cats, and their hit song, 'The Keitaro Strut!'

(Keitaro in the background laughing, Music Starts to the tune of 'Stray Cat Strut')

Wayne: (singing)

Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh

Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh

Brown haired manager struttin down the hall

Can't get enough dough for the mall

I'm just clumsy but I don't care

She struts right by with her nose in the air!

The Keitaro strut-(he's the clumsy best)

He's feelin kinda great (he bumps into breasts)

Gets a fist thrown at me by a mean girls hand

Lands right square in the garbage can!

"Yeah don't cross our path," the girls yell!

(Dancing instrumental)

I don't bother knocking on their doors,

OH NO

I slink right in, looking to say hi,

But all I get is a mean goodbye

Singin' the blues while the ladies hide

I should'a knocked so not to harm their pride

I wish I could just make myself straight,

But my misfortune is judged by fate!

YOWWWW!

(As the song concludes, the TV goes black, then reverts back to 'The View')

Kitsune: Wow, when did we get songs made about us and Keitaro?

Naru: I don't know, but this is definitely strange!

Motoko: I wonder if this is linked to Urashima's so called "superhero" friends, and didn't I see him in a chair in the background laughing?

Naru: I think so!

Shinobu: What is going on, then, and why is Wayne Brady with Keitaro? The other two look familiar also…

Naru: I don't know, but get the interrogation committee ready for when he returns! Besides, that can't be a celebrity like Wayne Brady with that idiot. He's too stupid to know anyone that famous!

(Meanwhile in the spare room at the end of the song)

Wayne: (singing) YOWWWW!

(BUZZZZ)

Drew: Awesome Job, very nice! I give A million points to Keitaro for having to be mocked in a song!

Keitaro, YAY!

Drew: By the way, Keitaro, I just heard your friends downstairs at the end of the song. Naru said something about setting up an interrogation crew amongst them! I think I have the perfect game to make it funny!

Keitaro: Alright! Will the other 3 guys be there in that game, too?

Drew: Yes, but first, we will go onto our next game, 'Newsflash!' This is for Colin, Ryan and Keitaro. Colin is gonna be in front of what we call a green screen, but he doesn't know what's behind him—all he sees is green. Ryan and Keitaro are gonna be in the 'studio' and will give him hints as to what's behind him. Now, as you guys have probably figured out, there is an added twist to this game since it's the Love Hina special episode. The twist is, that since the girls are still downstairs watching 'The View' we will interrupt their show, yet, again, and present them with 'Newsflash!' Alright, Ryan and Keitaro, take it away!

(Meanwhile)

Naru: Well, at least the commercial is over. I've seen weird ones, but that takes the cake!

Suu: Where's the cake? I want some!

Motoko: Suu, it was a figure of speech!

Shinobu: I am really starting to worry about Keitaro. Why is he appearing with these goofy American guys in front of Naru and on the TV all of a sudden?

Naru: Haruka, is he ok?

Haruka: He was fine last I saw him.

Naru: Hmmm. Well, we can't do anything until he returns, so we might as well finish watching 'The View.'

(Suddenly the screen goes blank in the middle of _yet another oh so boring discussion_ and Ryan and Keitaro appear, sitting on stools)

Naru: Look, there's Keitaro on TV again. That guy was the one that bumped his head on everything!

Kitsune: That tall guy's handsome! I wonder if Keitaro can get me his number…

All Other Girls: Shut up!

Shinobu: Let's see what this is about…

Ryan: (mumbling) They used a paperclip and a wad of gum?

Keitaro: (mumbling) Yes, and that's how they got my stone out!

(Drew and Wayne go into hysterics, girls are disgusted at remarks)

Keitaro: (Looks frantically at the camera and whispers) We're on!

(Both anchors 'straighten up their appearances)

Keitaro: (frantic) We interrupt this stupid show to bring you this late breaking news story!

Ryan: There seems to be some commotion out there and we have our man, award winning reporter Colin Mochrie out there!

Girls: Breaking News?

Keitaro: Can you hear us, Colin?

(Green Screen Background: Demolition Derby)

Colin: Yes, I can hear you over the commotion pretty good, except over there when they get riled up! (points to his right, which is a tail pipe with fire coming out of it)

Ryan: Yes, well, we know how you like to get revved up about these stories!

(Girls cringe at sight of car crashes)

Naru: I bet one of those drivers is related to Seta…

Motoko: Correction, one might _be_ Seta…

Suu: He does drive pretty much like that!

Haruka: SShhh! Lets see what this is about.

Colin: Yes, the excitement is enough to make you heart pump! (2 beat up cars smash up directly behind Colin with debris flying everywhere, and Ryan and Keitaro are ooohing)

Keitaro: Yes, I guess you could say it _drives_ you wild!

Ryan: Now Colin, aren't you worried about being so close to the action? The sight of that debris flying at me would make me steer clear of the scene.

(Just then, a car hits a ramp and lands on top of another, smashing the trunk of the car underneath, and flattening some tires)

Colin: I'm fine; I wore my lead lined underwear, and am quick to jump!

Keitaro: Colin that was a smashing scene. It's enough to blowout my mind!

(one car's engine bursts into flames as another smashes into it)

Colin: Yes, well, I spoke to officials here, and they said that if I dance like a ballerina, I will blend in, so that's what I'm doing! (Dances like ballerina momentarily)

(5 cars hit each other simultaneously causing a huge wreck, parts flying everywhere)

Ryan: Just be careful, I know how you can get carried away, wreck the show and have the scene come crashing down!

Keitaro: How much do you think those parts will sell for once this event is over?

(Colin looks around green screen funny, then 'it' clicks)

Colin: Well guys, I'm not sure yet, we have to wait for the tow trucks to get here, and haul everything off…

Motoko: Why would anyone report a demolition derby as "Late Breaking News?"

Shinobu: And what's with the ballerina dancing and wise-cracks?

Naru: This is all a bunch of crap! Change the channel!

Haruka: Ok, I guess… 'The View' is over anyways. So much for that… (Secretly, she is giggling and commending Keitaro in her mind for a job well done)

Kitsune: Well, let's plan on how to interrogate Keitaro when he returns…

Shinobu: Don't do anything too harsh. He hasn't done any harm to anyone!

Naru and Motoko: He'll get what he has coming!

(Shinobu tears up, starts pouting)

(Just then, Mutsumi, Sarah and Kanako walk in together)

Mutsumi: Ara ara! Has anyone seen Keitaro today? We were supposed to study together..

Sarah: Where is that dork!

Kanako: Yes, and I have some _business_ to attend to with him..

Naru: The only business you want with him is your incest-driven pleasures!

Suu: Is incest yummy?

Naru: Incest is NOT FOOD!

Kanako: I told you, he's all yours! I simply need some help with a school project—that's it! You can even join us if you want.

Suu: Keitaro has been acting weird today, appearing on TV, and such…

Mutsumi: Ara, is he in trouble? Did something happen at Tokyo U?

Kanako: Maybe Seta and Keitaro were in a car wreck!

Sarah: The dork wasn't with Daddy this morning!

Naru: I didn't think so. Let me clue you three in on what has happened this morning…

(And with that, Naru clues the three latecomers in on the earlier actions of Keitaro and the other 3 guys)

(Meanwhile in the spare room)

BUZZZZZ!

Drew: (Laughing) Colin, I think you figured it out. Plus the girls changed the channel just now. Colin, what is behind you?

Colin: Violent Car crashes I think…

Drew: Kind of… Where would you go to see an event with them in it?

Colin: Besides the side of a busy L.A. freeway at rush hour? Hmmm… A Demolition Derby?

Drew: Yes!

BUZZZZ!

Drew: That was awesome! 1000 points to everyone, and an extra 5000 to Colin for dancing like a ballerina and sticking his hand in a flaming tailpipe!

(Everyone laughs)

Colin: I did?

Ryan: Oh yah, at the beginning when you pointed to the group that was loud…

Colin: (chuckling) Oh… How funny, and yet, I didn't even feel a thing!

Drew: (Laughing) I know, right? People are gonna ask you after this airs if you got your hand burned from that exhaust pipe…

Keitaro: Man, when I get hurt, all the girls do is call me an idiot. You guys are so lucky as to getting people that actually care!

Drew: Don't worry buddy. We'll have some fun with them in the next game.

Keitaro: All Right! I can hardly wait!

Drew: OK, we'll be right back with more fun, and an encounter with the girls, on Whose Line is it Anyway!


	3. Segment 3

Disclaimer: All characters/registered names are not mine, and owned by their respective owners, and are used for entertainment purposes...

(parentheses) indicates actions

**Bold underline** indicates a caption on the TV screen

* * *

A/N: Hey guys, FFnet keeps erroring for me uploading new chapters. I finally found a 'backdoor' as you might call it. I exported another chapter, edited the doc, and pasted the text from the wordfile in over the old one. Geez, what a gruelling process. OK, on with it...

Have I got a treat whipped up for my devoted fans/readers/reviewers/and my sole proofreader—a nice long one! There is a lot of the girls chit-chatting between scenes on this one, which I apologize for not including in the last segments. I think it makes it a bit funnier! Later on, I might add-on/revise to Segments 1 and 2 to include the same. Also, as requested, Tama is here! She makes an appearance during the second game… Also, a surprise ending of this segment… Oh, yes, I haven't forgot about props. It's coming later on in the game… Also, as always, special thanks to my buddy **NewLyfe06** for the proofing (and laughing), and thanks, and lots of laughs to my loyal readers, and reviewers… I always love to hear your input!

Now, without further ado, I bring you the much anticipated segment 3.

* * *

Drew: Welcome Back to Whose Line is it Anyway: Love Hina Edition, where the show is made up and the points don't matter—all in the beautiful Hinata-Sou! Hey, during the break, we sneaked into the girls' bathroom and clogged up all the toilets. 

Ryan: You know, Drew, you shouldn't have eaten all that Mexican food! (Drew Laughs)

Keitaro: Wow, Naru might give you one of her infamous 'Naru Punches' for that if she found out!

Ryan: I'd pay to see that!

Colin: He would get to be the 'lightning rod of hate' for once! For once, the source of my 'bald jokes' has been smited upon!

Drew: (Laughing)

Keitaro: I would pay to see that too. I'm tired of being her personal punching bag! Drew, you are much more 'well rounded' for the job, if you know what I mean…

(Everyone laughs)

Drew: Keitaro, that's best said in another game! (A/N – maybe an indication of games to come later on?)

Ryan: Really? I'm anxious to pull that out in front of the girls, if you know what I mean!

Drew: (Laughs) Maybe we could bust it out later, if you know what I'm saying… (Everyone laughs) Alright! Let's go on to the next game that Keitaro has been anticipating, because it will involve an encounter with the girls!

Keitaro: Alright!

Drew: I am not responsible for any damage inflicted by the girls to you, Keitaro…

Keitaro: I know, I know. I don't care; this will be worth it…

Drew: I don't know how you put up with that abuse from your girlfriend…

Colin: (Towards Keitaro) It's gotta be one of those love-hate relationships…

Keitaro: Something like that. Sometimes she _hates_ to love me, or vice-versa…

(The guys all laugh again)

Drew: Alright! This game is for Colin, Ryan, and Keitaro, and it is ca-a-alled………

Keitaro: C'mon, get on with it. Please spare me the torture! The suspense is killing me!

Drew: (laughing) Ok, Ok! This game is called 'Quick Change' and it's for Keitaro, Ryan and Colin with the help of Wayne on the microphone! In this game, the players are gonna act out a scene, and every so often, Wayne is gonna yell 'Change.' Whoever spoke last will have to replace what they just said with something completely different. It's a good game to play at a party while everyone's loaded… Now, the scene is just as the girls had spoken about earlier. The girls are planning on having their interrogation of Keitaro, and Colin and Ryan will join them later in game. Sound fun? Take it away, guys!

Keitaro: Let's go.

Colin: His famous last words.

- Meanwhile –

Naru: Should we wait here to interrogate the idiot?

Motoko: He'd better be quick in returning. I have training to do _sometime_ today!

Kitsune: Speaking of the devil, there's Keitaro outside. We must prepare!

Naru: (Thinking) _Oh, Keitaro, what are you hiding? I'm supposed to be your girlfriend, and have fun around you. Must I do this to you? _

Sarah: Hey Kitsune, you aren't dressing up like Sherlock Holmes again, are you?

Kitsune: You know it!

Suu: I'm her assistant!

Naru: (Sighs) I guess I'll hold the gavel!

Motoko: I'll be an interrogator. (Unsheathes her sword)

Suu: Are interrogators yummy?

Girls: NO!

(Enter Keitaro)

Keitaro: What's up, guys? Why so straight faced? (Looks at Kitsune) I see I'm not the only one in character…

Naru: You have some explaining to do!

Motoko: (Points sword at Keitaro's neck) Yes you do, and it had better be a good excuse, Urashima! (Keitaro gulps in fear)

Kitsune: What's with the fishy stuff going on around here?

Keitaro: What do you mean fishy?

Wayne: Change! (The girls all look at each other strangely after hearing Wayne)

Keitaro: (In a super-person voice) Why, WHY must you ask me silly questions, mere mortals!

Naru: Don't use that tone of voice with us, mister! You know exactly what we're talking about, and what is with those three other guys that were with you earlier?

Keitaro: Those three guys were friends of mine!

Wayne: Change!

Keitaro: Those three guys were with the plumbers union!

Wayne: Change!

Keitaro: Those three guys were part of the 'Refrigerator Repair Men Who Wear Their Pants Too Low And Show Their Butt Cracks' party!

(Drew Laughs)

Naru: What! What the hell are you talking about! Besides, their pants weren't low. They were rather sharply dressed for repair-men! Also, what is with this voice yelling 'change' and you changing your excuse?

Motoko: Yeah, like Naru said. Do you think this is funny, Urashima? (Holds sword closer to Keitaro's neck)

(Ryan and Colin walk in)

Ryan: How's it going all? Hey, hey, hey! What's with the sword? We don't kill innocent people here!

Motoko: He deserves to die for being a stupid perverted man! Who said he is innocent, and who are you and this bald guy!

Colin: What's the deal with the bald-cracks! It's always gotta be the bald-guy. Why can't I once just be a normal person?

Ryan: Settle down, it's ok.

Motoko: (Lowers sword, dumbfounded) I was just describing you.

Ryan: Now you've done it!

Colin: That's it! You know what? You look like a long-haired man, wearing a red and white parachute! (A/N: Colin's referring to Motoko's gi.)

Motoko: Don't start on me!

Wayne: Change!

Colin: You look like cottage cheese with CRAP on it!

Motoko: I'm warning you!

Wayne: Change!

Colin: Where's the bathroom, this baby's gonna blow!

(Motoko was about to bring her sword to Colin's neck, then stops after this line)

Naru: It's down the hall on the right for crying out loud! Don't go right here!

Colin, Oh, never mind. I'm fine now…

Suu: Are bald cracks yummy?

Colin: I guess if you like pork-butts!

Motoko: What!

Ryan: He has issues…

Wayne: Change!

Ryan: He eats shoes! (A/N: I thought Ryan would be funny with a rhyme)

Keitaro: (holding back laughter) Good thing the girls aren't wearing any, except Motoko and her sandals! (Keitaro says it too quickly before Wayne can say change again)

Ryan: Yes he eats shoes, especially fancy ones, like my Blue shoes! (Everyone looks at Ryan funny) I had a little something to drink earlier!

Motoko: Obviously!

Kitsune: And you didn't invite me? No fair!

Naru: Okay, ENOUGH, guys! What the hell is going on with you guys? Why are you coming to an all-girl's dorm, acting weird, and then mysteriously popping up on our TV?

Colin: It's OK! We're professionals!

Wayne: Change!

Colin: It's OK, we're Toilet Cloggers!

(Drew Laughs)

Wayne: (laughing) Change!

Colin: It's OK, we're just goofy guys that dance around in our underwear while doing the 'Safety Dance!

Naru: What the hell are you talking about? I have never seen you do that before! (Thinking) _But I think it'd be interesting walking in on you doing that… _

Shinobu: W-w-why would you do that in p-public?

Motoko: You are lying Urashima! Tell the truth!

Keitaro: We don't dance in our underwear! (Girls sigh in relief) We dance in leotards!

Girls: What!

Wayne: Change!

Keitaro: We don't dance in our underwear, we dance in thong bikinis!

Girls: EEEW!

Wayne: Change!

Keitaro: We don't dance in our underwear! We dance in French-Maid's outfits—Fishnets and all! Would you like to see? Break out the music, guys! (Sings and dances) Doo-doo doo-doo….

Naru: Shut up! Keitaro, you are nothing more than a lying pervert!

Colin: THAT'S A BUNCH OF CRAP!

Naru: (Looks at Colin) And I'm tired of _your_ antics, Mister!

(Naru throws a first at Colin, Keitaro intercepts, gets his face smashed into the floor)

Shinobu: Oh no! Keitaro, are you OK? (Keitaro does not respond)

Suu: Wow that was a good reflex, Keitaro!

Sarah: I'm speechless. That dork saved someone!

Mutsumi: Ara, ara. He would have done it for anyone!

Suu: (Walks over to Keitaro and shakes him) Wake up Keitaro, you can't die now!

Naru: What have I done!

Ryan: Now look what you did, you idiot! Now we're gonna have to clean that mess off the floor! Time to get the mops, some 'wet floor' signs and a spatula!

Wayne: Change!

Ryan: Time to get jackhammers, construction barrels, a bulldozer and a load of hot asphalt!

Girls: What!

Wayne: (Laughing) Change!

Ryan: Time to get bars of soap, a bathtub with an exploding faucet, a toilet, a can of beans and a cat!

(Drew laughs at the memory)

Colin: The "Snackeforicker of Dimar" awaits!

(Wayne and Drew laugh)

Wayne: (Laughing) Cha…!

Ryan: That's 'Emir of Groovefunkistan" and his burnoose!

Colin: Oh yeah! Anyways, we must flee, and we will take our friend here, before you kill him! We will return momentarily, o violent women! C'mon Keitaro!

(Keitaro is still unresponsive; Colin and Ryan carry him out)

BUUUUUZZZZZZZZZZ!

Naru: Wait! Dammit, those guys…

(Colin and Ryan pick up a dazed Keitaro and flee outside, then sneak into the spare room where Drew awaits)

Drew: Wow, Keitaro, are you OK?

Keitaro: Yes, I am now. It's my invincibility factor! I am still seeing stars though!

Colin: Thanks for the Rescue. I don't know if I could have survived that!

Keitaro: Sometimes I wonder how I can!

Drew: Wow! Hey, she's _your _girlfriend, bud. Hey, 10,000 points to Keitaro for that one. Also 5,000 points to Motoko for making fun of Colin!

Colin: Hey! C'mon now!

Keitaro: They didn't seem to care for Colin much!

Colin: I know, usually it's one of these guys making bald-cracks… I'll be sure to get them back for sure!

Ryan: Easy buddy, it's just a game! Hey Keitaro, your female friends are a bit crazy…

Keitaro: Welcome to my world!

-Meanwhile-

Motoko: I swear this is insane!

Shinobu: Naru, don't you think you went a little too far?

Naru: Hell no! That bald guy deserved that! Did you hear me, mister? YOU ARE BALD, SO WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT! I WILL CALL YOU BALDY IF I WANT! (Colin barely can hear this in all actuality) As for Keitaro, he is just being perverted! (Goes outside and yells) KEITARO, YOU HAVE 5 MINUTES TO GET YOURSELF BACK HERE AND EXPLAIN YOURSELF BEFORE WE HUNT YOU DOWN AND KICK YOUR ASS!

Shinobu: (now angry) Forget it! I shouldn't have asked! (Storms out of room)

-Meanwhile-

Colin: (Hears Naru) Wow, temper, temper!

Keitaro: Ooooh, I can feel the heat through the floor!

Drew: Wow, Naru's mad!

Colin: Keitaro, are you sure you love that girl? She's asking for it!

Keitaro: Yes I do, with all my heart, so don't get her, she didn't mean it. Eh, who am I kidding? A little emotional damage never hurt anyone, especially after her last attempt to smite you!

Colin: (In a Sinister Voice) Alright! I plot my revenge!

Drew: (Laughing) OK, to the next game! It's for Keitaro, Ryan and Colin, with the help of Laura Hall and Linda Taylor on the instruments, and it's called 'Show Stopping Number!' How about that, Wayne, you actually get a break from this!

Wayne: I know--what a concept! I get to sit back, relax, and watch the insanity!

Drew: (Laughs) OK, in this game, the guys minus Wayne are gonna act out a scene, and during the scene, I'm gonna buzz and whoever was just talking must break into a show-stopping musical number based on what they just said! Sound fun? Colin is a spunky theater instructor, and Ryan is his assistant! The scene is: Keitaro, you are going to go tell the girls that you are doing this for a theater class, and apologize to the girls for upsetting them! Colin and Ryan will accompany him, and they will also criticize Naru and Motoko for their ways.

Ryan: There'd better be extra points if I get hit!

Keitaro: You'll be fine. I'll jump in the way! Just have an ambulance waiting on standby!

Colin: (Still Sinister) I'm gonna get them for their bald-cracks for sure! Ahahahaha! (Evil Laugh)

(They walk back down outside, then go back to the living room. Colin, Ryan and Keitaro walk in. Keitaro is again greeted by Motoko's sword.)

Naru: Alright mister, no running away! All of you, explain yourselves!

Keitaro: OK, but first, Motoko, please put your sword away. I mean all of you no harm… (Thinking) _Except maybe mental harm! _

Motoko: I suppose, Urashima, but any funny moves, and you're done for!

Keitaro: I promise I will be good.

BUZZ!

(Music starts)

Keitaro: (Dancing around room, along with Colin and Ryan)

I promise

I'll be good

Because

I should

It's ok,

Cut me some slack

Because big punches

Naru does pack!

(Music Ends)

(Naru proceeds to punch him into the wall)

Colin: HEY! That's no way to treat my student! I'M SPUNKY!

Girls: _Student! _

Keitaro: (dazed, seeing stars) Aaaanyyyyonnnnne get the number on that runaway bus?

Colin: Yes, he is my student—well, at least until this idiot Naru just acted so hostile!

Ryan: Hello! This man here (points at Colin) is my associate, Colin, and I am his assistant, Ryan. We work in the theater department of Keitaro's old high school.

Naru: So all the funny things were for theater class?

Colin: Yes, we go way back! Keitaro is a good friend of ours!

Naru: And you are sure he is the best choice of students?

Colin: Yes! All the rest are CRAP! (Throws his arms in the air, gets in Naru's face; she backs down in fear) NEVER QUESTION MY INTELLIGENCE!

(Just then Tama flies in)

Motoko: EEEW! TURTLE! GET IT AWAY!

Tama: (Lands on Mutsumi's shoulder) Myuh!

Mutsumi: (looks at Tama) Hmm? Ara, its just another Keitaro-interrogation.

Colin: What's with the flying turtle?

Ryan: What the hell is that thing?

Suu: That's Tama—our flying hot springs turtle! Mutsumi and I can understand her language—turtlese!

Colin: I'm Spunky!

BUZZ!

(Music starts)

Colin: (Dancing with Keitaro, Ryan behind him, and Tama joining in on the fun)

Keitaro is a good friend

Unlike you who kicks his end

By the way

I'm spunky

Also, I might add

If you call me bald again,

I'll get mucho maaaaad!

(Music ends)

(Drew laughs)

Ryan: He will too! As for Keitaro, he's helping me and Colin with a side project!

Colin: It's quite a project, too!

Motoko: And just what kind of perverted project is this?

Colin: It's not perverse; really, it's just skit exercises that require more than just two people!

Motoko: (Whispers to Ryan) Is the bald one sane?

Ryan: Hey! Don't make fun of Colin's baldness!

BUZZ!

(Music Starts)

Ryan: (Dancing as before, followed by Colin, Keitaro and Tama, who is waving a flipper to the beat)

Colin's bald

That's a fact

Don't make fun of him

Yessiree, Jack

Because if you do,

He'll make Naru's punch

Look like poo!

Don't do it!

'Cause when he's threw

What's left of you

Will be a pile of goo!

(Music Ends)

(Drew Laughs harder)

Colin: Well said, Ryan!

Keitaro: (Laughing) See? We're just having some fun, and I couldn't turn down a few old friends when they asked!

Ryan: Yes, and Naru, quit jumping to conclusions. You almost killed Colin! Colin looks like nothing, but his punch is much worse than yours!

Suu: (Looks at Tama) C'meres, you, I have a pot all ready to boil you in!

Tama: Myuh, Myuh!

Colin: Why would you do that to your pet turtle?

Suu: I'm hungry, that's why, and I have always wanted to taste Tama!

Ryan: She's crazier than the rest of them!

Colin: We're taking Tama with us, before you kill her, Suu! Oh yeah, I'm STILL spunky!

Naru: OK, Keitaro, I suppose you're right… (Thinking) _I'll be good to you, and do something nice for you later if you forgive me… _

Motoko: (Sighs reluctantly) I apologize, too.

Colin, My third nipple is hard!

(Drew and Ryan chuckle)

Ryan: Geez!

Kitsune: (Sipping sake) Well come here, big boy!

Sarah: EEEW, that's gross!

Motoko: Colin, you pervert!

Keitaro: Time to go!

Ryan: I agree!

BUZZZZZZ!

(And with that, Colin, Ryan and Keitaro flee before Motoko can get to them!)

Naru: (Thinking) _Dammit, why can't I bring myself to say it…_ _Oh, Keitaro, I hope you are not mad at me! I'm sorry for hurting you-twice at that, and I will make it up to you, I promise! _

Kitsune: Naru, are you thinking what I think you are?

Naru: Yes, I need to apologize to that idi—I mean Keitaro. I do love him, after all! I just can't seem to tell him…

Kitsune: Just speak with your heart, Naru…

Naru: (Sighs, then looks around) Hey, where's Shinobu?

Motoko: I haven't seen her since she got mad at you earlier…

Naru: I guess that makes two people I have to apologize to.

(When the guys return to the spare room, they aren't as sneaky as they should have been as a young cook notices commotion coming from the spare room)

Drew: That was fantastic! 1000 points to everyone for that one! That was really funny!

Keitaro: Thank you, thank you! Did I just hear Naru say she is sorry and she loves me?

Drew: Something along those lines!

Keitaro: We should pull some more goofy crap on her before I accept!

Drew: I like the sound of that!

Colin: (Laughing) They think I can totally destroy them!

Tama: Myuh

Drew: Who brought the turtle?

Keitaro: That's our Tama—she's a hot springs turtle that flies, and Suu and Mutsumi can understand her language. Unfortunately, Suu wants to eat her…

Drew: So it's like Suu wants to eat the house pet?

Keitaro: Afraid so.

Ryan: Like I said, she's crazier than everyone here!

Keitaro: Watch out for her inventions like her Mechanical Tama. Suu is a mad scientist!

Drew: Don't worry, Tama, I'll baby-sit you for a little while.

Tama: Myuh Myuh! (Lands on Drew's desk, and ironically rings the 'Party Quirks' doorbell)

Ryan: I'll get it! My pizza is finally here, and it's 3 hours late!

(Drew Laughs)

(Just then, Shinobu peeks in and catches the Whose Line crew)

Shinobu: What's going on here? Keitaro? Tama?

Keitaro: Oh no, we forgot to lock the door! What should we do, Drew!

Tama: Myuh!

Drew: Let's consult the world crisis monitor. I hope my superfriends arrive soon!

Ryan: We already played that game! You're 6 games too late!

Drew: Oh yeah! Well, I guess we have no choice but to tell her. Besides, didn't you say this one was one of the nicer girls, Keitaro?

Shinobu: Tell me what?

Keitaro: That's correct—that's Shinobu Maehara, our resident cook, but how can we work around her in here?

Drew: It just so happens I had planned for such an emergency! Here goes… Hey Shinobu Maehara, welcome to the set of Whose Line Is It Anyway: Hinata-Sou edition!

Ryan: And you thought it was just another dreary day in an empty room…

Shinobu: (In shock) You mean the same Whose Line that's on TV?

Drew: I'm afraid so! The thing is, what we're filming today is supposed to be unknown from the other girls for right now! Please keep it a secret, or I won't allow you to leave this room until the end!

Shinobu: I will, I promise! You can count on me!

Drew: Thanks, this is gonna be pretty funny still! As for you, Shinobu, you can be in our next game, and not as a victim, like Naru was, and I promise, it'll be very easy, and quite funny as well!

Shinobu: Alright! I hope I can do good…

Keitaro: Hey this is awesome. It's so depressing seeing Shinobu cry and it is so rewarding seeing her smile and laugh, so this actually will be rewarding for me…

Drew: Alright, we're gonna prepare for this extra part—A game Shinobu herself hosts, so we'll be back in a minute with more 'Whose Line is it Anyway: Hinata-Sou special!'

Tama: Myuh Myuh!

* * *

A/N: How's that for a cliffie? Stay tuned, and as always please R & R! 


	4. Segment 4

Disclaimer: All characters/registered names are not mine, and owned by their respective owners, and are used for entertainment purposes...

(parentheses) indicates actions

**Bold underline** indicates a caption on the TV screen

Special Thanks to my buddy **NewLyfe06** for editing/proofreading for me...

* * *

(When we left off, Shinobu had just discovered the secret of the day's abnormalities. The show is still in commercial break)

Drew: Hey Shinobu, all you need to do is ask the guys questions during this game…

Shinobu: Anything I want?

Drew: As long as it's suitable for a PG-13 type audience… It's 'Let's Make A Date.' Can you handle it?

Shinobu: I remember that game, and I think I can handle that!

Drew: You got it kid! Hey, did I hear that you like Wayne Brady?

Shinobu: Yes I do……

(Wayne Walks Up, Shinobu's in shock)

Wayne: Very nice to meet you!

Shinobu: T-the p-p-pleasure's all mine…

Wayne: I hope you have fun with us today!

Shinobu: I will!

Drew: Alright, ready to start the show, Shinobu?

Shinobu: I sure am.

Drew: Ok, here we go.

(Show resumes from commercial break)

Drew: Welcome back to Whose Line is it Anyway: Love Hina edition—the show where everything's made up and the points don't matter, all in Hinata-Sou outside of Tokyo, Japan. Move over, Godzilla, because Whose Line is taking Japan by force!

(Guys chuckle)

Drew: Ok, before the commercial break, one of Keitaro's tenants, Shinobu Maehara, who is one of the sweetest girls here at Hinata-sou, discovered us. She is also the resident chef and does all the laundry for everyone. Shinobu, what exactly gave us away?

Shinobu: Ummm, well, Naru was being really irrational like she always is towards Keitaro, and I had had enough, and as I came upstairs towards my room, I saw Keitaro and Tama along with Ryan and Colin running into this room, so I had to investigate.

Drew: That's right, I get to baby-sit Tama for a little while… Well, there ya have it. Shinobu agreed to play along with us against the other girls and it just so happened that I had a backup plan, so Shinobu is going to star in our next game with all the guys—Wayne, Colin, Ryan and Keitaro. This game is called 'Let's Make a Date' and in this game, Shinobu is going to appear on a dating type show and the guys are going to be contestants hoping to be picked by her. Now, each one of them has a card that they've never seen before with a strange characteristic or identity that they have to act out, and Shinobu will have to guess who they are at the end of the game. Now, there will be four contestants instead of the regular three in this game. Now, as the added Hinata-Sou bonus, the other girls are still watching crap on TV, and this is gonna follow a dating show they are watching. Sound funny? It is! Now Shinobu, whenever you're ready, take it away…

(As the guys look at their suggestion cards, Wayne giggles, Keitaro laughs, Colin gives a small chuckle, and Ryan just give his a strange look)

-Meanwhile-

(The girls are watching the end of 'Blind Date' on TV. After the show is over, a quick commercial made by Drew pops on screen advertising the 'new' show that is really the 'Let's Make A Date' game.

Drew: Stay tuned for the premier of 'Let's Make A Date' coming next.

(The screen goes to a commercial)

Mutsumi: Ara! Wow, a new dating show. Sounds exciting.

Suu: Wow, let's watch it!

Naru: But I wanted to watch cartoons! Scooby Doo is coming on.

Motoko: I wanted to watch Scooby Doo also…

Sarah: Can it girls! We always watch Scooby. I wanna see this new show.

Naru: No!

Sarah: (grabs the remote) Too bad!

Suu: Yeah! We wanna watch this one!

Kitsune: (Walks in) What's this about? Oh boy, a new dating show. I wanna see this for sure!

Naru: (mumbles something like 'Damn kids' under her breath) Alright, but if it's stupid, we're changing it!

Sarah: Deal!

Motoko: (Whispers to Naru) Sometimes, I wish Seta were here to set her straight…

Naru: Shhhh!

Motoko: Anyone seen Shinobu?

Suu: Not since Naru made her mad!

Naru: I made her mad?

Suu: When you were yelling at Keitaro and that bald guy earlier, she got upset and left.

Naru: Shinobu…mad?

Sarah: Shut up! It's starting..

Kitsune: Alright! Enough, y'all!

(Show starts, Shinobu is pictured as the bachelorette)

Girls: SHINOBU!

Naru: Oh my God, Shinobu's on TV!

Motoko: I'll bet I know who she's with, too!

(Before anyone can say another word, Motoko's questions are answered as Wayne, Colin, Ryan and Keitaro appear on screen…

Drew: Welcome to Let's Make A Date,' the show where one lucky bachelorette gets to pick from four peculiar bachelors to go on a date with her. Our lucky bachelorette is none other than Ms. Shinobu Maehara from Hinata City! How are you doing today?

Shinobu: F-fine… I am excited to be on the show, Drew!

Motoko: Isn't that Drew Carey?

Naru: Yes it is. When did he start hosting a dating show?

Motoko: I don't know.

Naru: Hey look, Tama's on his desk too.

Suu: So that's where they took that pesky turtle! That means Keitaro knows Drew Carey!

Sarah: Shhhhh!

Drew: Good! Well, we have picked four lucky bachelors for you today, and you get to ask them questions—two rounds of them, and then make a choice of which one you want to go on a date with. Are you ready to start?

Shinobu (more confident this time) Yes I am!

Drew: OK then, take it away!

Shinobu: OK! Bachelor number one: If I was cooking you your favorite dish, what would it be and why?

Wayne: **Drive-Thru Speaker Operator** KZZZZ… (In a muffled voice) Welcome to Wa-ZKKKKKKKKK-can I take your order?

Shinobu: What? I can't seem to understand you. Did you hear my question?

Wayne: KZZZZ.. You asked for my favorite dish….KKZZZZZZZ…I would go with the number one and a Coke…KZZZZ!

Sarah: Wow that guy was weird!

Suu: He needs my special wireless mic clarifying invention, perfect for those older microphones, like his. It is highly radioactive though making it too hazardous for humans use…

Motoko: Then what good is it!

Sarah: Shut up, I wanna hear this…

Shinobu: Thank you Bachelor number one. Bachelor Number Two! If you were going to take me somewhere fun, where would it be?

Colin: **Drunk Elmer Fudd** (Swaying the entire time side-to-side) Huhuhuhuh! I wooowd ta-a-aake youtago haaaave some fwiiiiiied-WABBIT! (Throws his arms in the air as he sings the next line) Kiww the wabbit, kiww the wabbit, kiww dat skwewwy wabbit! (Acts like he is pulling out a shotgun and starts shooting everywhere) huhuhuhuhuhuh! Uh oh! No moooooowa buwwets, butI-I-I-I-I gothis--huhuhuhuh! (Acts like he is drinking a bottle)

Shinobu: Wow bachelor number two, you are quite a handful! Bachelor Number Three!

Ryan: (In a redneck voice for this game) Yes!

Shinobu: If I had my dream car, it would be a sports car, but if you could have your own dream car, what would you have?

(Drew Laughs at how close she is to Ryan's suggestion without knowing it)

Ryan: **Untrustworthy Auto Mechanic** Well, if you quit breaking this one here, you would have the money to buy your sports car! You gotta discombobulator gasket here that is leaking some red stuff here. I've never seen that stuff before. (A/N: Auto-Transmission fluid) What the hell is this here? Hmmmmm--This looks like about 4-500 dollars worth of parts, lets see in my book… hmmm—ah yes, here it is: Windshield Wiper Blade, (mumbles) that's too inexpensive. I won't make money off of that.

Shinobu: What was that, Bachelor Number Three?

Ryan: (Looks back up at Shinobu) That there is the Engine that cleans your windows. It's very expensive and you will have to replace that along with the spark plugs—all twenty of them. It's gonna cost you about 2 thousand dollars!

Suu: NO car has 20 spark plugs! What is he thinking!

Shinobu: Well, at least if I was to go with you, I would never have to worry about my car breaking…

Ryan: Hang on, I'm sure I'll find more stuff that's broken!

Shinobu: I'm sure you will! Bachelor Number Four! (Thinking) _Ooh, it's Keitaro, maybe I'll tease him—he's so funny when you take him by surprise…_ What do you think I'd look cuter in—an outfit that shows some skin, or covers me up?

Sarah: Look, it's the dork's turn!

Naru: He'd better not try to say anything perverted on TV! (Thinking) _Especially to Shinobu…_

Motoko: That's right! He better not be perverted around her! She's only in Junior High, and he has you…

Keitaro: **Has Taken A Powerful Aphrodisiac By Mistake** Well, I don't know. Boy this headache is killing me, I hope that aspirin kicks in soon! Hmm, let me think now… (Sits for a moment, gets a nice soft expression on his face) Something that covers you up to leave you're beautiful body a mystery, or something that shows your every curve, and sexy legs…. Mmmmm yeah, I like the sound of that…… (blood starts running out of his nose)

Girls: WHAAAT!

Naru: (thinking) _What is he thinking, taking an aphrodisiac for her? I thought he was supposed to do that for me…_

Suu: Wow, Keitaro's bein' naughty…

Mutsumi: Ara, looks like Keitaro's not being too shy today…

Kitsune: I knew Keitaro couldn't hold himself back, that sly devil! Naru, you're so lucky!

Naru: And you're so terrible, Kitsune. Keitaro is too shy to do that to me… (Thinking) _Although I probably wouldn't mind…_

Kitsune: I'd say he just might, judging from how he is here…

Shinobu: Goodness, you're feisty Bachelor Number Four. Do you have adult desires like this all the time? I didn't know you had it in you… Bachelor Number One—would you take me to an expensive restaurant or a cheap one?

Wayne: KZZZZ! That'll be one super size number one, and an expensive restaurant! Is that all for you today? KZZZ!

Shinobu: Umm, yeah I guess…

Wayne: KZZZZ…That'll be f-KZZZ-ninety nine. Please pull around to the window to pick me up…KZZZZ!

Shinobu: Okaaaay. Bachelor Number Two: I want a fur coat so badly I can taste it! If you were to buy me a fur coat, what would it be made of and why?

Colin: (Still Swaying Side-to-Side, and slurring his words even more) WABBIT! I woowd wiiiike tooo kiwwdatwascawwywabbit! Uuuuuuh! (A/N: groaning) I don't feeeeew soo goooooooo…..BLAAAAAAUUGH (pukes) Eeew, I dooon't wemembeww eating thaaat! Wait, wait, huhuhuhuhuhuh, yes I do noooow…huhuhuhuhuh.

Girls: EEEEEEWWWWW!

(Drew Laughs)

Shinobu: You're a little too sick for me! Literally! Gross. I prefer my dates not to throw up all over the place. Bachelor Number Three: I think I know what makes you tick. I love to cook, and always select the healthiest oil for my food that still makes it taste good. When you are working on your car, do you always select the best oil for it, and why?

Ryan: Oh, yes. The blacker the oil, the better the car runs. I like to reuse oil, and I do so by running it in my car after it comes out of another. Aged is the best, especially if it's real thick and chunky, plus, it saves money…

Shinobu: Are you sure? I have always seen commercials on TV for clean oil that keeps for less wear and friction…

Ryan: I do it all the time, and my car runs perfect! By the way, your muffler bearings are out and you need some more blinker fluid. That will add another, eh, 500 dollars to your bill. That ok?

Shinobu: Bachelor Number Three, you sound a bit… confused. Bachelor Number Four: If you could find a woman with all the perfect looks, what would they be?

Keitaro: Mmmmmm… Silky long legs, oh yeah… Long flowing hair and a beautiful smile… Mmmm yeah, that is it, and soft smooth skin… Yeah… Mmmmm, that's nice and-(Shinobu cuts him off)

Shinobu: (blushes) That's enough Bachelor Four this is supposed to be a family show…

Keitaro: Not after I'm through with you…

BUZZZZ!

Drew: Alright Shinobu, ready to guess who they are?

Naru: Oooh, I could just kill that Keitaro for saying that!

Sarah: Calm down, Naru, it's just a game…

Naru: That's true—that looks like his theater teacher there, so they might just be acting…

Motoko: I thought that looked like his teachers. Why does Shinobu need to guess who they are?

Naru: Isn't she just supposed to pick one to go on a date with? I wouldn't want to date any of them like they are now if I were her…

Mutsumi: Ara, I hope she picks Bachelor Number Four, er, Keitaro, because he's cute…

Sarah: Shut up! I wanna hear this!

Shinobu: Alright… Bachelor Number One sounds like someone in a McDonald's Drive-Thru Speaker…

Drew: Yes!

Shinobu: Bachelor Number Two I can't seem to figure out. He sounds somewhat familiar, like someone hunting maybe…Bugs Bunny… Is he Elmer Fudd?

Drew: Elmer Fudd who's what?

Shinobu: Elmer Fudd who was hanging out with Kitsune too long?

Drew: Close Enough! He's Elmer Fudd who's drunk!

Shinobu: As for Bachelor Number Three, he sounds like a retarded car repair man… Even I know well enough there is no such thing as muffler bearings and blinker fluid, and the dirty oil thing was just silly…

Drew: Yes!

Shinobu: (giggles) And as for Keitaro, he sounds like he is acting the way Motoko and Naru always accuse him of acting--perverted…

Drew: Kind of… but he said he took something for a headache first and instead he felt perverted. What would make you feel like acting like that?

Shinobu: (blushes) Maybe something like Viagra?

Drew: Yes! It says here that he took a powerful aphrodisiac by mistake…

Shinobu: (Laughing) I just couldn't see Keitaro doing that… He's too sweet!

Keitaro: Awww, thanks, Shinobu.

Drew: I know some of your friends could see him doing that. (TV Screen goes dark and then to a commercial)

Sarah: Awww man! I wanted to see who she picked!

Naru: (completely forgetting about what her and Sarah last talked about) That damned Keitaro! Who does he think he is acting like that towards a younger girl and betraying me?

Sarah: Uh, Naru, I'm pretty sure he was just acting. Like you said before, wasn't that his Theater teacher there?

Naru: Oh yeah... That's right…

Motoko: I thought that was Colin there, and the assistant, Ryan. Who was the other guy?

Naru: I don't know. I'll have to go bug Keitaro later… Also, when did Shinobu get so up-front? She's usually so shy!

Mutsumi: Ara Ara, Shinobu is a little different.

Motoko: She's probably finally outgrown that shyness. Hey, did Drew mean 'us' when he spoke about 'Keitaro's friends?'

Sarah: I'm pretty sure he was referring to you and Naru.

Naru: He doesn't even know us… I'll bet Keitaro and maybe even Shinobu told him how we treat him…

-Meanwhile-

Drew: Alright, excellent job there, Shinobu. I noticed you didn't seem so shy in the game. Were you acting?

Shinobu: I sure was. I've seen the game before, several times in fact. I figured, since it wasn't real, I could have some fun and not worry about any negative consequences…

Keitaro: Wow, you had me wondering too…

Drew: That was a wonderful performance by Shinobu! Give her a round of applause!

(Everyone applauds)

Drew: 1 million points to Shinobu on that one!

Shinobu: Wow that was really fun!

Drew: Alright, on to the next game, it's for Colin and Ryan and it's called 'Infomercial'… In this game you are gonna be two guys doing an infomercial about a new miracle product, but they have to use all of these items in this box…(Colin retrieves large box of stuff from next to Drew's Desk)…as part of the pitch to sell the product… Now, Shinobu since you are here, I need you to give me a suggestion of a bad habit, like from someone you know…

Shinobu: Hmmm, Keitaro's Aunt Haruka smokes a lot, so how about a stop smoking product...

Drew: That would work great. So Ryan and Colin, the infomercial for the new stop smoking product.

-Meanwhile-

TV: 'The Young and the Restless' will continue after these messages.

Kitsune: Must they cut to a commercial during such a critical point in the program?

Naru: Kitsune, it's called a 'cliffhanger.' It is meant to keep you from changing the channel because you will not want to miss anything.

Kitsune: Of course, but I just can't stand it!

Suu: I'm hungry. I'm gonna go get a snack! Anyone want anything?

Mutsumi: Ara, watermelons will do.

Sarah: How about some ice-cream?

(Haruka Enters)

Haruka: Hey ladies. Has Keitaro returned yet?

Naru: Yes, but he is out with his theater teachers, Colin and Ryan right now.

Haruka: (giggles) Theater teachers, eh? Ok.

(The infomercial starts)

Ryan: We interrupt your favorite soap opera because it's ten o'clock and it's time to shop, shop, shop!

Colin: Does the fire department chase you around because they think you are on fire all the time? Do people often refer to you as a human smokestack?

(Drew Starts laughing)

Ryan: Well do we have the solution to stop that dreaded cigarette smoking. 15 easy steps that are less stressful and more creative than your typical stop smoking products. (Just then, Tama flies in, and lands on Colin's shoulder)

Colin: It's so easy, even our little turtle-friend Tama could do it… Right, Tama?

Tama: Myuh!

Haruka: Will someone change this crap?

Kitsune: Here we go, (click…click…click) WHAT! It's on every channel…

Haruka: Just great! I am in NO way thinking of quitting smoking—EVER! (Thinking) _Damn those guys!_

Ryan: Oh, and by the way, this is such a big sale that we're on every channel!

Colin: That's right! No matter how many times you change the channel, you can't get rid of us!

Ryan: Hey Colin, what do you suppose this is? (Pulls out a foam lawnmower air filter)

Colin: Why that looks like something that would clean the air running through it.

Haruka: These guys _can't_ be serious…

Ryan: Right you are! You see if you put it between your cigarette and mouth, and smoke the cigarette, none of the smoke and nicotine can get through, and thus, you trick yourself into thinking you are smoking when you really aren't.

Colin: Wow! And when you are done, it makes a nice little pillow for your cat! (Pulls out a can of beans) Hey Ryan, what do suppose this is?

Ryan: Why, it looks like an ordinary can of beans to me.

Colin: No silly, it is a powerful tool for stopping smoking!

Ryan: (Smiling, fighting back giggling) How so, Colin?

Colin: Well I'm going to tell you. (Pause) You see…these are twenty times more potent than normal beans, and as you eat these, you will become very gassy.

Ryan: Is that so! I think I know where you are going with this…

Colin: You're right! If you smoke while the effects of the beans cause you to fart uncontrollably, you will set your surroundings on fire.

Ryan: (Laughing) Wow, and if you eat them all the time, you won't be able to smoke, without the fear of setting everything on fire.

Colin: Exactly.

Ryan: Say, my ex-wife smokes 4 packs a day. Maybe I should send her a few cans of these…

Colin: (Shakes his head sideways) I don't know what I'll ever do with you… (Pulls out a bicycle seat with tube) Hmmm, don't know what the hell this is.

Ryan: (Pulls out an upright metal sprinkler that is shaped like a periscope) Also, if your friends are allergic to cigarette smoke, you don't want them running around breathing through this, do you? (Colin puts pipe in his mouth to breathe)

Colin: (Pulls pipe out of mouth) Also, if you are the smoker, and you smoke through this, your friends might confuse you for a semi-truck…

(Drew Laughs)

Tama: Myuh, Myuh…

Colin: What, Tama? Tell them it's HOW much? Are you sure?

Tama: Myuh!

Ryan: How much did Tama say it was?

Colin: Why, she said she'd pay upwards of $49.99 for it…

Ryan: Wow, $49.99?

Tama: Myuh!

Ryan: Wow, that's much cheaper than most of your store-bought stop-smoking products…

Colin: Exactly! (Pulls out a garage broom brush) Hey Ryan, open wide. (Ryan opens his mouth) After you quit smoking, you have to get rid of the stains, (acts like he is brushing Ryan's teeth with the brush) so you will need this special toothbrush to get rid of all those years of unsightly tar stains…

Ryan: OW, OW, OW, that feels good! (Grabs brush from Colin and throws it away) Hey Col, what do suppose this piece of something is? (Pulls out a plunger without the handle)

Colin: I dunno…

Ryan: Neither do I. I wonder how that got in there…

Colin: (Pulls out large spring) Oh, for extreme cases of smoking. If all else fails, we must root out the nicotine from your lungs. Ryan, open your mouth. (Ryan sighs, and opens his mouth) Now, you thread this spring into your throat and down into your lungs, (Stands next to and slightly behind Ryan, and makes it look as if he is actually twisting the spring into Ryan) and the tar and nicotine are extracted away on this. (Quickly untwists spring out of Ryan)

Ryan: I feel better already, and I don't even smoke.

Colin: Not anymore you don't.

Ryan: And if you act right now, we'll send you this special bonus item. (pulls out a CD-Spindle cover, holds it upside down like a bowl) It's a special bowl for you to vomit in after the withdrawals kick in.

Colin: BLAAAAUGH! BLAAAAAUGH! (Starts chuckling)

Ryan: (In an upset tone of voice) Unfortunately it looks like we just used the last one…

(Drew Laughs)

Colin: (Pulls out a fake ball and chain) And if all else fails, and I can assure you it won't, but if it does, just put this around your legs and you won't be able to reach your cigarettes, and will be forced to quit cold-turtle…

Tama: Myuh!

Colin: Er, Turkey… Cold Turkey! Sorry 'bout that, Tama…

Tama: Myuh!

BUZZZZZZZZZZZ!

(TV goes back to 'The Young and the Restless' just in time)

Naru: What in the hell was that?

Mutsumi: Ara, It looks like Tama is also in the showbiz with Keitaro…

Kitsune: Alright, we didn't miss anything… Hey, Haruka, do you think that was a real stop-smoking aid?

Haruka: I don't know, but if it were my guess, probably not. (Thinking) _Keitaro, that was pretty good, but did you guys have piss me off by doing it on quitting smoking?_

Naru: I agree. It was just Keitaro's theater teacher and the assistant. I'll bet they made the commercial stay on all our channels. I'll bet that they are close by, because Tama was on Drew's desk earlier, as well as in that 'commercial.'

Suu: My special ultra-TV capturer does what they did by holding one's TV hostage so you can make yourself seen on all channels, and I just saw it this morning, so I know they didn't steal it. Anyhows, I had to use parts from it for my latest invention, my Mecha-Tama 37.990, so I know it's not in working order.

Sarah: And I'm helping her with it. It's gonna um, uhhh, ummmm-hey Suu, what does it do?

Suu: I'm not sure yet.

Naru/Kitsune/Haruka: WHAAA!

Mutsumi: Ara, does it make watermelons?

Suu: No.

Naru: How can you make something and not know what it does?

-Meanwhile-

Drew: 10,000 points to Keitaro's Aunt Haruka, since she smokes so much, and for having to put up with that infomercial, and another 10,000 to Tama for that special appearance. That was pretty funny. Man, Haruka got mad after the commercial came on and stayed on every channel.

Keitaro: That's because she really does smoke like a human smokestack.

Shinobu: Does she know what's going on here?

Keitaro: Yes, she was the only one other than me that knew until you found out.

Shinobu: Wow, Tama did a good job.

Colin: I know, although I was scared she would poo on my shoulder.

(Everyone laughs)

Ryan: Could you understand her?

Colin: No, but I think she was playing along after that first part…

Wayne: Let's hear it for Tama and a job well done! (Everyone Applauds)

Tama: Myuh Myuh Myuh! (Bows)

Drew: Alright! Don't go anywhere; we'll be right back with more Whose Line: Love Hina Edition after this.


	5. Segment 5 Bonus Game

Disclaimer: All characters/registered names are not mine, and owned by their respective owners, and are used for entertainment purposes...

(parentheses) indicates actions

**Bold underline** indicates a caption on the TV screen

Special Thanks to my buddy **NewLyfe06** for editing/proofreading for me...

* * *

Drew: Welcome back to a BONUS segment of Whose Line is it Anyway: Love Hina Edition—the show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. This one-game segment goes out to all our loyal viewers and reviewers! Now, our director (author), JonJ is here to say a few words! Take it away, JonJ! 

JonJ: Well all, this show is almost halfway through, and to show our appreciation, I have written a bonus segment for all my loyal viewers and reviewers, as well as my buddy **NewLyfe06** to watch! As a special thank you, I have set up a game for Ryan, Colin, and Keitaro to play called 'Two Line Vocabulary', and Drew is going to explain the details. Thanks again, y'all, and keep watching and sending those reviews!

Drew: Thanks, JonJ. As he said, the name of the game is 'Two Line Vocabulary' and in this game, the performers are going to act out a scene, however, Ryan and Keitaro can only say one of two lines during the entire scene. The scene is: You guys are going to install a veranda style porch in Keitaro's room. Colin is the construction foreman, and Ryan and Keitaro are workers. Now, Ryan, the only things you are allowed to say are, 'Should I be doing this,' and 'That doesn't look right.' Keitaro, the only two lines you are allowed to say are, 'What do you think of that,' and 'I don't like the sound of that.' That's it, they can't say anything else, however, Colin can say anything he wants. Now, as a bonus feature, Naru is in her room studying, so after hearing them below, I'm sure she will come down to investigate. This should drive her crazy, and Ryan and Keitaro, if she talks to you, you still have to use those 2 lines. So, whenever you're ready, go down to Keitaro's room and take it away!

-Meanwhile-

Naru: (Walking back from checking the hole for any sign of Keitaro in his room below her.) (Thinking) _When will that idiot get back? I want to make sure his dating game antics were just an act, and then spend some time with him. I kinda miss him… _

(In the room below her, the three enter quietly to start their act.)

Colin: As you know, the veranda will go on the outside wall.

Keitaro: I don't like the sound of that!

Colin: Why not? The only place to put a veranda is on the outside of a building! You can't put it in the hallway or a neighboring room!

Ryan: That doesn't look right!

Colin: Of course it wouldn't! Who has ever heard of a veranda patio in a hallway! Now, we must work quickly. We need to have the French doors installed by the time the sun goes down.

Ryan: Should I be doing this?

Colin: Yes you should, because you'll get paid, and Keitaro will have a nice patio.

Keitaro: I don't like the sound of that!

Colin: Why not! You were the one that ordered this, and money is good!

Ryan: (Points at blueprints) That doesn't look right!

Colin: Why, that's because you're holding them upside down! (Flips the blueprints right-side up) Doesn't that look better?

Keitaro: (Points at blueprints) What do you think of that?

Ryan: That doesn't look right!

Colin: It is a wonderful idea, and yes it looks fine!

(Just then Naru pokes her Liddo-kun doll thru the hole in ceiling)

Naru: Keitaro, can I come down there?

Colin: Come on down, we're all here. Be careful.

Naru: (Jumps down) What's all the arguing going on down here? I can't study with all this racket!

Ryan: (Looks at his hand) That doesn't look right.

Colin: It's just your hand, everybody has them, and yes it's alright!

Keitaro: I don't like the sound of that! (Looks at Naru and flexes his arm) What do you think of that?

Ryan: (towards Keitaro) That doesn't look right!

Naru: It looks like an elbow macaroni noodle, and yes it looks right, that's his normal arm!

Colin: Yes, you're arm is okay!

Keitaro: I don't like the sound of that!

Colin: Too bad! I'd rather it be okay, than not okay! Now let's get back to work. We have a lot to do, and not much time…

Naru: Keitaro, I had to ask you something important.

Keitaro: I don't like the sound of that!

Naru: It's not bad, I just want to know if you were putting an act on that date game…

Keitaro: What do you think of that?

Naru: Well if you were acting, I'd say good job.

Ryan: (Whispers to Colin) Should I be doing this?

Colin: Yes you should! It's for a good cause, (looks at Keitaro before he can speak) and I think it's great!

Keitaro: I don't like the sound of that!

Colin: Too bad! Now, we must get to work building this veranda before it gets dark and cold. We need to cut the doorway opening.

Keitaro: I don't like the sound of that!

Naru: Veranda?

Colin: Yes, we are building a veranda for Keitaro, (looks at Keitaro) and it is a great idea, because you have to have doors to access your veranda!

Ryan: (grabs saw and positions it to cut Keitaro's table) Should I be doing this? That doesn't look right!

Colin: NO, don't do that! We don't need to cut Keitaro's table. We are going to cut the wall, so we can install the doors.

Keitaro: (Looks at Naru) What do you think of that?

Naru: Why do you keep asking the same questions, you idiot! I will save you some money and time, and punch you through the wall instead of you cutting it…

Colin: No! No! No! No! I don't need any injuries!

Ryan: That doesn't look right!

Keitaro: I don't like the sound of that!

Colin: Of course it's not right! Naru, you can't beat him through the wall.

Naru: I do it all the time. (Punches Keitaro through the wall) See?

Colin: (starting to look furious) Now look what you did! I have a huge hole in the wall to fix and an injured worker as well!

Ryan: (Act's like he's gonna punch Naru) Should I be doing this?

Colin: (Furious) NO, NO YOU IDIOT! We don't hit girls!

Naru: That's right, you do and you die!

Keitaro: (Wearily, from new hole in wall) I don't like the sound of that!

Colin: I DON'T EITHER! Why would anyone wish someone to die!

Keitaro: (Points at hole, wearily) What do you think of that?

Colin: It looks as stupid as you two!

Naru: I second that!

Keitaro: (points at Ryan) What do you think of that?

Colin: I'll tell you what I think of that! I think he looks like a big stick with a big nose!

Naru: You're right, he does!

Keitaro: I don't like the sound of that!

Ryan: (Angrily) Should I be doing this?

Colin: If you ask me that one more time, I'm gonna…! (Looks at Keitaro) I DON'T LIKE THE SOUND OF THAT! (Looks at Ryan) SHOULD I BE DOING THIS!

Naru: Woah! I think it's getting too ugly for me in here. I'm gonna leave before his punch is thrown at me accidentally! (Climbs back into her room)

Keitaro: I don't like the sound of that!

Colin: Well too bad! You scared her off, idiot! At least now, _maybe_ we can get some work done here if you two idiots quit being so dumb!

Keitaro: I don't like the sound of that!

BUZZZZZZZZZZZ

-Meanwhile-

Naru: Geez, those guys were acting strange…as usual. Well, the seem to be quieting down. Maybe I can get some studying in. On second thought, a nice nap might sound good right about now! Maybe afterwards, we can get the Keitaro and his friends to come lounge in the hot-springs with us. That's a good idea. I'll go propose the idea to the girls. It might be fun…

-Meanwhile-

(All three start laughing, and sneak back to the studio room)

Drew: Absolutely funny! 1000 point for you guys on that one. Also, 5000 points to Naru for putting up with us and an extra 5000 points to Keitaro for getting hit yet again!

Keitaro: I don't like the sound of that!

(Drew laughs)

Drew: Fine, wise guy, if you insist, then no extra points to you!

Keitaro: I think I like the other idea better.

Drew: Too late! (Keitaro sighs) Just kidding, buddy, you can have your points…

Ryan: Wow, people at home are gonna lose track of this one!

Drew: Oh yeah, we mustn't forget, 1000 points to Ryan for looking like a big stick with a big nose!

Ryan: And so it starts! Here we go, we went halfway through a show, and now the fun begins!

Colin: I think I'll just go get drunk with Kitsune while you guys argue! Oh wait, I have the answer here! (Reaches into his pocket and pulls a slip of paper from a previous episode, and reads it) "I only ask one thing, NO HOE DOWN AT THE END..." (A/N Kudos to Nysk's review!)

(Everyone laughs)

Drew: Hey guys, it sounds like you four will be suiting up and going to the hot-springs after the commercial break. Naru of all people is talking to the girls about it and it seems to be going over good.

Ryan: Alright! We get to see cute women in bathing suits!

Keitaro: I see it all the time…

Ryan: Lucky!

Colin: I'M SPUNKY!

Drew: (Laughing) And now a quick word from the director, one more time. Take it away JonJ.

JonJ: Thanks Drew. Alright, I need all of my awesome audience (readers and reviewers) to send me messages containing lines that they would like to see played in the game, 'Whose Line' that is coming up. The more lines sent in, the better, so please send me random lines that would be funny in the game 'Whose Line' and as usual, we'll keep the good ones and throw the rest out. Thanks again, everybody! Back to you Drew!

Drew: Alright! Don't go anywhere! More coming up on 'Whose Line is it Anyway: Love Hina Edition' with some of our favorite euphemisms and clichés and more after the break, so stay tuned!


	6. Segment 6

Disclaimer: All characters/registered names are not mine, and owned by their respective owners, and are used for entertainment purposes...

ALSO- Thanks to all who donated random lines to me—Shimbo, Aoirann, The Unknown Alias, and BurgerBecky . Enjoy—I used most of them, and the results were pretty funny! Also, about half of the lines used were taken from Burgerbecky's story, 'Ace Ventura – When Charlotte Calls' and I have not heard back from her about using them, so I must give her credit for those lines, so they will have a + sign by them… (please don't sue me for using your lines, I have no money and it was all in good intentions, and I couldn't get any response from you) Thanks again…

Note: I have re-named 'the spare room' that is used to house the show 'The Studio' since I am being lazy!

(parentheses) indicates actions

**Bold underline** indicates a caption on the TV screen

Special Thanks to my buddy **NewLyfe06** for editing/proofreading for me...

* * *

(Show starts and Drew is laughing hysterically) 

Ryan: Drew! We're on!

Drew: (Laughing) Welcome back to Whose Line Is It Anyway: Love Hina Edition. Wow, during the break, we switched all the street signs in your neighborhood, so everyone will get lost.

(Everyone Laughs)

Drew: Sorry about the laughing. I was reading this funny story, called 'Ace Ventura: When Charlotte calls!'

Ryan: Yeah it was pretty funny. What series was it based off of?

Keitaro: I can answer that one. It's a Ranma ½ story.

Drew: Wow, well, I've never seen Ranma ½ but this story was great! Read it when you get a chance! It's in JonJ's favorite stories list. We all got a nice laugh out of it, so 5 billion points to Burgerbecky on that one!

(A/N, I've never seen Ranma ½ either)

Ryan: Drew! We got a show to do!

Drew: Oh, yeah, I forgot! Alright, this next game is for Colin, Ryan, and Keitaro, and it's called 'If You Know What I Mean' and in it, they guys are going to use as many obscure euphemisms and clichés related to the setting as they can. The scene is you're auto mechanics. Also, the Love Hina bonus is that they are going to play the scene in Haruka's tea house and from what I was told, Kitsune is down there. Naru is supposedly coming as well, which might make things a little too interesting. So, whenever you're ready, head down there…

-Meanwhile-

Haruka: (Hangs up the phone) That was Keitaro. He's bringing Colin and Ryan down here to get some tea.

Kitsune: I'll bet they're going to pull some silly stuff down here.

Haruka: Well Colin is a theater teacher, so who knows? (thinking) _I wonder what crazy game they'll play today... Drew never said…_

Kitsune: Well, I'm game for it if it's funny.

(The guys walk in)

Ryan: This wrench is too small if you know what I mean.

Colin: Looks like your exhaust pipe is a little rusty if you know what I mean…

Ryan: Well if I had a bigger tool, I could work it better if you know what I'm saying.

Kitsune: Wow, what the hell are you guys talking about?

Haruka: (thinking) _If you know what I mean, eh? Let's see how you do on this game, Keitaro…_

Haruka: You guys want some tea?

Keitaro: Yes please!

Ryan: Sure.

Colin: Okay.

Keitaro: My engine's not running right, if you know what I mean.

Ryan: Maybe you're a quart low, if you know what I mean.

(Naru walks in)

Naru: Hey guys, what's going on?

Kitsune: These guys are bein' silly, and I think they're talking about cars.

Colin: (Looks at Ryan) Well, my hood's not going up all the way if you know what I'm saying!

(Haruka laughs)

Ryan: Well, maybe your gas-shocks are shot if you know what I mean.

Keitaro: Maybe you should lubricate it if you catch my drift…

Naru: Are you guys sure you're talking about cars?

Haruka: I think its part of their act.

Kitsune: For some reason, I don't think they're talking about car repair…

(Just then a loud crash is heard outside and Seta walks in with blood running down his forehead)

Seta: Hey guys.

Naru: Hi Seta!

Colin: Wow, from the sound of that, you're gonna need a complete rebuild if you know what I mean.

Ryan: He needs some bodywork if you know what I'm saying.

Seta: Actually, that's the way I always drive.

Colin: Whoa! I'll bet you roll over a lot if you know what I mean.

Ryan: His van rocks a little too much if you know what I'm saying.

Haruka: Hey Seta. Those guys are some of Keitaro's friends—Ryan is the tall one, and Colin is the bald one, and they are talking about working on cars, I think…

Colin: Hey, hey, hey! Watch the bald cracks!

Seta: I see that. Hey guys, nice to meet you. I had a blowout if you know what I mean.

(Drew Laughs)

Naru: Oh, no, not Seta, too…

Keitaro: Wow, you musta picked up a nail if you know what I'm saying.

Naru: (Growling) Keitaro…… (Punches him across the air)

Seta: Actually, I think I picked up a few screws if you know what I mean.

Naru: Why, Seta? Why must you act like this too?

Kitsune: I'm enjoying this…

Ryan: BEEP, BEEP if you know what I mean!

Seta: I always drive hard if you know what I'm saying…

Colin: My stick-shift is stuck in 3rd if you know what I mean!

(Ryan looks at him funny)

BUZZZZZ!

Colin: Oh my, we have to go find Keitaro, so we'll see you guys in a little bit.

Kitsune: We'll be in the hot springs, so meet us there.

Ryan: Alright. Hey Seta, why don't you join us…?

Seta: Alright!

(Just then, Keitaro lands in front of them)

Keitaro: I feel like I just had a close encounter with a bullet train if you know what I mean…

Colin: C'mon, Keitaro, we have to go suit up. Seta's coming with us.

Haruka: Well, that's settled. Keitaro's friends sure are strange, but that was kind of funny.

Naru: I think they were just being perverted!

Kitsune: I didn't mind.

-Meanwhile-

Drew: Alright, 1000 points to everybody, and an extra 2000 points to Seta for playing along with the guys.

Seta: Thanks, I guess. What's going on here?

Drew: Oh, I guess we're getting ahead of ourselves. Welcome to the cast of Whose Line is it Anyway. This is a TV show where we make up everything on the spot, and the points don't matter.

Seta: I got it. Okay, I didn't realize I'd get to be in some game with the guys. Is this on TV?

Drew: Yes, but there is one small thing we have to add. Since this is the Love Hina edition of Whose Line, there is a plot twist, which is that none of Keitaro's tenants know about this, except for Shinobu who caught us last round, and Haruka, since she is the assistant manager. We will surprise the rest of the girls later with the truth.

Seta: I got it, and I think I remember seeing this game show on TV once. Count me in on the fun.

Drew: Alright! First, we have a quick surprise for everyone here. Brad Sherwood has just shown up and announced an added bonus to the show. So, what's the new bonus, Brad?

Brad: Thanks, Drew! To make things even funnier, we're going to be incorporating the 'Quick Change' game into the show for most of the remaining games here, using this bell. As you guys already know, when prompted, the last person to speak or do something will have to re-do what they just did with something completely different, but we will not be yelling change—instead, we will ring this bell. This will, in essence be just like the live version of 'The Drew Carey Show' with the bell ringing. I will be in charge of the bell, and even Drew is not immune from it.

Drew: I am not immune from it? Wow, this will be interesting.

DING!

Drew: Wow! This will be just like when I dreamed about drowning in pizza sauce, and woke up in the bath tub. (Everyone laughs) Alright! This next game is for Colin, Ryan, Keitaro, and Wayne. Believe it or not, here on Whose Line is it Anyway; we have a game called 'Whose Line.' Now in it, the performers will be given these handfuls of laminated paper that they've never seen before. We got them laminated, because they are going to swim in the hot springs. Anyhow, during the scene, they will randomly insert these lines. Seta, you can go and join in, but we didn't get enough lines made for you to have some.

Ryan: You can have two of mine.

Seta: Thanks, Ryan, this will be great!

Drew: Alright, there is no scene plot to this game, just make conversation with the girls. Colin, you and Ryan are still Keitaro's theater teachers.

Keitaro: Alright, let's go! They are anticipating our arrival…

-Meanwhile, in the hot springs-

Kitsune: I'm really excited about seeing that tall guy, Ryan in his swimsuit.

Naru: I'm excited about just being able to spend some time with Keitaro. I haven't had the chance to hang out with him at all today!

Mutsumi: Ara, we should do this more often.

Suu: I agrees. It would be fun to have all of us together in the hot spring.

Motoko: Well, just as long as his friends don't do anything perverted. I'm not worried so much about Keitaro.

Naru: I wonder if Keitaro will let me wash his back…

(Just then, the 5 guys appear and Suu does her usual kick to Keitaro's face)

Keitaro: (Stumbling) Hey guys…

Sarah: Daddy's here too!

Seta: Hey, Sarah…

Sarah: Daddy, I missed you so…

Kitsune: Hey guys, what's shakin?

Seta: You girls invited us down here, so here we are.

Keitaro: I was looking forward to a nice bath.

DING!

Keitaro: (growls) Oh, this sure beats sweeping the crap off the stairs.

Naru: What was that bell?

Colin: I don't know. Did you guys hear anything? (The guys nod 'no') I didn't either. Hey, it's been fun hanging with Keitaro today!

Naru: Really? That's great. How long has it been since you guys saw each other?

Ryan: Well, it's been a few months. Colin and I had some time off, and he suggested we come here, to which I replied, (pulls out a slip) 'Have you noticed how good you look in fondue?'

Colin: Shhhhhh! I told you not to mention that!

DING!

Colin: Hey look! I still have some right here. (Points to chest)

Ryan: Oh yeah. Well, good thing we're in a bath.

Kitsune: You guys are weird!

Keitaro: Anyways, they called me up and I couldn't turn them down. Besides, they've wanted to meet you guys for a while.

Motoko: Is that Wayne Brady?

Keitaro: Oh, yeah, by the way, this is Wayne. He's a personal friend of theirs and mine as well.

Motoko: You guys know Wayne Brady?

Wayne: Well, Colin and Ryan have known me since the late 1990s—I think 1998 was when we met. We used to do comedy together. I remember it all like it was yesterday.

Colin: You remember when we met back in England? The first thing you said to me when you found out I wasn't British was, (pulls out a slip) 'Around here is what's been giving me problems.'+

Wayne: That's right; I confused you for a doctor.

DING!

Wayne: That's right; I thought you were the toilet repair man…

Ryan: That's because he was holding a plunger at the time.

Colin: I sure was!

Kitsune: Wow, You guys go way back!

Shinobu: That's so cool… When did you meet Keitaro?

Wayne: I didn't meet Keitaro until his senior year of high school when he was in a play…

Colin: It was that epic play called (pulls out a slip) 'Bad kitty, stop playing with that!'+

Keitaro: That's right! I was the 'bad kitty' in that play! I still remember the famous chant I told my owner. It went, (pulls out a slip) 'I'M SPUNKY!'

(Drew Laughs)

Kitsune: So that's where Colin got that line from earlier!

Colin: Oh yes! We practiced that epic scene 159 times one day, and the line just stuck!

DING!

Colin: That line was soldered to my buttocks by an evil villain, and I've used it ever since.

Ryan: Did you have a little something to drink today?

Colin: I sure did.

Ryan: I thought so.

Kitsune: Why didn't you invite me?

Colin: Because I wasn't here at the time.

DING!

Colin: Because I was sitting on the toilet at the time!

DING!

Colin: Because I was in a tree, waving my arms like a bird, going, 'Woo, woo, woo!'

(Drew and the guys laugh)

Haruka: So exactly how long have you two been working together?

Colin: Ryan and I?

Haruka: Yes.

Ryan: We started back in 1993 in England doing live improvised comedy for several years, but we have known each other longer.

Colin: That's right. We met when we were in our early teens in Vancouver. I guess you can say that we actually grew up together…

Haruka: Wow, and you've worked together ever since?

Ryan: Well, like I said, it wasn't until 1993 when we were performing in England that we started working together.

Suu: Wow! That's incredible! Do you guys just work at Keitaro's old high school now?

Colin: Yep. I still remember the first play we did there. It was called, (pulls out a slip) 'I had my stone removed by a paper clip and a wad of gum.' It was a medical play!

(Drew and Wayne laugh)

Ryan: Oh yes, I remember that epic battle call the hero said to the overpriced Looney doctor. It was, (pulls out a slip) 'That girl with the spatula was pretty mad that I drove through her restaurant.'+

Keitaro: I think I remember you telling me about that. That hero drove a monster truck?

Colin: Yep, and he drove it through that lady's restaurant in a mad dash to beat traffic.

DING!

Colin: He was dancing to the 'Hokey-Pokey' while he was driving.

Motoko: Are you sure that hero wasn't Seta?

Keitaro: If I were that lady, I would have told him, (pulls out a slip) 'Who wants to cover me with oil?' If he ran over her, she'd have gotten her wish!

Colin: Well, my favorite chant to say to all my performers at each play is: (pulls out a slip, sighs) 'Have no fear, Captain Hair is here!'

(Drew starts laughing)

Colin: And then after getting looks from that, I usually say, "Doo Doo Doo! I HAVE NO HAIR!"

(Drew Falls out of his chair laughing, Wayne and Ryan laugh)

Naru: You guys are starting to act kind of strange. What's with these papers?

Keitaro: They're nothing.

Naru: And what's with this bell ringing making you change your lines constantly?

Colin: They're just to remind us (pulls out a slip) 'I french kissed a horse once.'

Kitsune: You what? Why?

Colin: I just wanted to find out what it was like, so I gave him a nice sloppy French kiss and said, (pulls out a slip) 'There's angry men in the back with giant mallets.' I knew if they spotted me, they'd kill me, so I had to remind myself about that.

Seta: Well, I think that's an interesting story. I myself had a run in with a crazy police man. He pulled me over…

Motoko: I'm not surprised by the way you drive…

Seta: Like I was saying, he pulled me over, and instead of giving me a ticket, he said (pulls out a slip) 'Oh NO Ultraman is destroying Tokyo, our only hope is Godzilla!'

Girls: WHAT!

Keitaro: Wow. Strange. I didn't know Ultraman was evil…

Naru: Are you guys sure you are okay?

Ryan: Yes. Hey, I'll bet that cop had some strange donuts from that new wacky donut shop with the slogan (pulls out a slip) 'STAND BACK, THIS BABY'S GONNA BLOW!'

Naru: What kind of slogan is that for donuts?

Ryan: I'm not quite sure, myself.

DING!

Ryan: How should I know?

DING!

Ryan: (Pulls out a slip, sings) 'Let's do the time warp again!'

Colin: That sounds fun to me!

Wayne: And I didn't even bring my 'Rocky Horror Picture Show' outfit. Hey Keitaro, can you do me a favor?

Keitaro: Sure, I guess…

Wayne: Actually, Naru would probably do this better.

Naru: It had better not be perverted!

Wayne: It's not! I was just wondering, (pulls out a slip) 'You wouldn't hit an American with glasses, would you?'+ I guess I don't have glasses, but if I did, you wouldn't hit me, would you?

Naru: What kind of dumb question is that? Of course I would if they were perverted enough!

Seta: That's Naru for you! By the way, (pulls out a slip) 'You should've seen what Motoko did to herself with her sword!' (starts fighting back laughter)

Motoko: WHAT! I certainly did nothing to myself with my sword.

Keitaro: How can we believe that?

DING!

Keitaro: I didn't do it!

Colin: Motoko, did you try to commit seppuku again?

Motoko: No I didn't! How would you know?

Colin: In the great words of 'someone-I-can't-remember,' (pulls out a slip) 'I can make my nipples wink!'

Motoko/Naru: WHAT!

Ryan: You can?

Colin: That's right, but only in really cold water…

Wayne: What? I wanted to see that…

DING!

Wayne: What? I can do it when the water's warm, see? (Acts like he is winking his nipples)

Colin: All I have to say about that is (pulls out a slip) 'Hey you slackers! You forgot to empty out the ashtrays!'+

Motoko: What does all that have to do with what I supposedly did to myself with my sword?

Ryan: Oh crap! I knew I forgot something…

Haruka: You guys don't even smoke!

Colin: That's true, but we still have them just in case.

Keitaro: That reminds me I was going to tell you that (pulls out a slip) 'Kangaroos make me horny.' Wait, that's not what I meant!

Naru: Are you some kind of sicko?

Keitaro: No, no! Of course not. What I meant to say is (pulls out another slip) 'When are you going to admit to being a lesbian?'

Naru: Who were you referring that to?

Keitaro: Suddenly, I can't remember!

DING!

Keitaro: I-I-I forgot what I was saying… Oh, yeah. (pulls out a slip) 'What's with the cat outfit?' I saw you the other night walking outside with a cat-outfit on, and didn't get a chance to ask you…

Naru: Keitaro, I did no such thing! Why are you changing the subject? Who were you asking to admit they were a lesbian?

Keitaro: Ummm, oh yeah, it was Colin.

Colin: What! How many times do I have to tell you that I already love women! I'm married to one! What kind of stupid question is that! I should be the one telling you (pulls out a slip) 'Get your own pizza! I need to make an important call!'+ I'm tired of you stealing my phone and asking me for pizza all the time!

Wayne: Hey now. Naru don't mind them. Guys, lets just sit back, relax, and (pulls out a slip, sings) 'Save a horse, ride a cowboy!'

Seta: I like the sound of that!

Ryan: Keitaro, we mustn't forget this motto we live by, remember? It goes like this (pulls out a slip) 'What's your bra size?'

Naru: What kinda motto is that!

Keitaro: Well, we always like to know what bra size everyone is, just in case the infamous Captain Bra-Stealer comes… (pulls out a slip) 'I think I'm going to be sick...' I think I'll get out of here and go rest in my room!

BUZZZZZZ!

Colin: We'll take you up. Sorry to cut this short, ladies.

(The guys leave and go to the 'studio')

Drew: That was really good! That was an awesome job and an extra 5000 points to Seta for handling his two lines well.

Ryan: I enjoyed that a lot. I wasn't expecting to see the girls in swimsuits…

DING!

Ryan: (pulls out a slip) 'I'll take a medium Stuffed Crust Pizza with Ham and Pineapple.'+

(Everyone laughs)

Drew: Alright, we'll get that right to you, and I want some too. We'll be right back to Whose Line is it Anyway: Love Hina Edition in a moment!

(Show goes to commercial)

Keitaro: I really am going to be sick.

Drew: Keitaro, you okay?

Keitaro: I have a raging headache all of a sudden… Can we sit for a couple of hours?

Drew: Sure!

-Meanwhile-

Naru: I'm going to go check on Keitaro. For some reason, after those silly slips flying around, I don't think he is sick at all!

Shinobu: Why don't I go look for him?

Naru: I want to see him for myself!

Shinobu: (thinking) _Oh boy, I'd better run to the room the guys are in before Naru does… _Hey I just remembered, I left something in my room. Gotta run. (She makes a mad dash out the door)

Motoko: What was that all about?

Suu: Really! I wonder if she's hungry, because I am!

Naru: Well, I'm going to dry off and go see if he's actually sick in his room.

-Meanwhile, in the studio-

Drew: I sure hope he's okay.

(Just then, Shinobu runs in and locks the door behind her)

Shinobu: (frantically) Where's Keitaro? Naru is coming to find him?

Ryan: He's in his room, really sick!

Shinobu: Oh dear, I hope he is alright!

-Meanwhile, in Keitaro's room-

(Keitaro is lying face down on his futon)

Keitaro: Maybe if I just take a little nap, I'll feel better. Where's my aspirin?

(Naru walks in)

Naru: Keitaro, are you alright?

Keitaro: (groans) Not really. I have a raging headache. Naru, can you get me an asprin and some water?

Naru: Oh my god! Okay, hang on… Where is your aspirin?

Keitaro: It's on the shelf above my desk.

Naru: (grabs the aspirin and a bottle of water) Here you go. I'll be right here if you need anything, okay? Just drift off to sleep for a little while…

Keitaro: Thanks, Naru… (thinking) _ Will we be able to continue the show? Wow, I'm getting sleepy, and Naru's actually wanting to take care of me… _(falls asleep with a smile on his face)

To Be Continued…

* * *

A/N: Sorry, I left a kinda cliffie at the end again with some romance to it. I will keep the mushy stuff down to a minimum as this is supposed to be a comedy—I PROMISE! It's just that Naru has been wanting alone time with Keitaro, so I'm giving it to her so she'll shut up… 

ALSO, I'm going out of town for a few weeks and may not have an internet connection, so PLEASE don't think I'm ignoring you guys when I don't answer to your reviews! As always, PLEASE R & R! Thanks!


	7. Segment 7

Disclaimer: All characters/registered names are not mine, and owned by their respective owners, and are used for entertainment purposes...

(parentheses) indicates actions

**Bold underline** indicates a caption on the TV screen

Special Thanks to my buddies **NewLyfe06 & LB** for editing/proofreading for me…

Also, many readers' prayers have been answered as a much requested game that starts with a "P" makes an appearance!

* * *

(When we left off, Keitaro was sick in bed with a major headache, with Naru watching over his peaceful slumber) 

Naru: (Thinking) _Wow, Keitaro sure looks peaceful like this. I hope he feels better when he wakes up…_

(Naru proceeds to snuggle up against Keitaro and drift off to sleep)

-1 hour later-

(Keitaro wakes up to see a beautiful Naru snuggled up next to him, sleeping peacefully)

Keitaro: (thinking) _Wow, it's a shame that we have to keep this up just a little bit longer… I can't wait until we tell them…_

(Keitaro slowly gets up)

Keitaro: Sleep well, my dear. (Kisses her on the cheek, and walks to the 'studio')

-Meanwhile-

(While Keitaro is asleep, the cast takes a lunch break and Shinobu cooks up a special lunch for them)

Drew: Wow. I sure hope Keitaro gets to feeling better quick, because I'd hate to have to keep this up for two days. Hey Shinobu, this food is exquisite. Your cooking even out does Emeril Lagasse's by far!

Shinobu: Thanks, Drew! My parents used to have a restaurant before their divorce, and I was favored by all their customers.

Colin: Wow. How long have you been this good at cooking?

Shinobu: I have been cooking since I was tall enough to reach the stove, and I have been favored by the customers since I was about 7 years old.

Ryan: Wow, that's amazing.

Wayne: This is excellent miso soup! Can I have some more, please?

Shinobu: (blushes) Sure, Wayne. It is an honor cooking for you!

Wayne: Aww, thanks! It is an honor eating your wonderful cooking!

(Shinobu blushes more, and Keitaro walks in)

Drew: Hey, how's the patient feeling?

Keitaro: All better now! Let's get on with the show!

Drew: Alright, here we go…

(Show resumes from commercial)

Drew: Welcome back to Whose Line Is It Anyway: Love Hina Edition, from Hinata Sou in the lovely hills of Japan, where everything is made up and the points are just like Naru's morning breath—it doesn't matter…

Keitaro: But her punch does!

DING!

Keitaro: Her breath doesn't, but as for mine, after a night of Suu's spicy cooking--…

BUZZZZZ!

Drew: (Laughs) Okay, okay! We get the point. Alright! I am real excited for this game, because it hasn't been played on Whose Line since the British days, and I am proud to bring it back along with a special surprise. It's for Colin, and Ryan with the help of Keitaro and it's called 'Secret,' and to present the game is the former host of Whose Line, the one and only Clive Anderson!

(Special Music Plays, and everybody gives a standing ovation, Clive sits next to Drew!)

Drew: Hey there, Clive, thanks for doing the show today!

Clive: Good to be here, Drew! Ryan, Colin, and Wayne, good to see you three again. I also see Laura Hall there as well. So many memories…

Drew: Yeah! Just when you think there couldn't be any more fun on this show, I bring in a surprise!

Ryan: Wow, out of Clive's vault and back on the air. Are we going to start doing jokes about no neck and baldness again?

Drew: (Laughing) Only if I am not the subject.

Colin: I miss those days. I could be spared of being the target.

Clive: Well, you'll still be the target today… Who's the new contestant here?

Drew: This is Keitaro Urashima, manager of this place. He's our guest star today.

Keitaro: Wow, I am not familiar with this game, or Clive.

Drew: Before I was the host of this show, it was filmed in England, and Clive was the host.

Wayne: I didn't make it to the show until the end of Clive's regime.

Clive: I noticed Brad Sherwood is over there. Why isn't he an improviser?

Drew: Brad has come in to play a role he did on the Drew Carey Live Episodes.

Brad: That's right, Clive. I have this bell right here, and every time I ring it, whoever spoke or did something last must do or say something completely different of what they just said. It's the quick-change game with a bell instead of an announcer, and even you and Drew aren't immune from it!

Clive: Thanks for that little tidbit of information there, Brad! Okay, now for the scene. You three are going to be acting the scene as students studying in Keitaro's room. Now, I need a suggestion from Drew on where in his room the secret could be found…

Drew: How about in his desk drawer…

Clive: Alright! So, we join the scene 20 or thirty seconds before the secret is found in Keitaro's desk drawer.

Drew: I must add, that Naru is still sleeping down there and so she'll be around during this game as well… Also, Brad still has the bell throughout the scene.

Keitaro: Alright! Off to my room…

-Meanwhile-

(Naru is just waking up in Keitaro's Room)

Naru: Keitaro, how are you feeling… (Looks around) Keitaro? Where are you? Well, I might as well go back to my room and study.

(Just then Kitsune walks in with Suu)

Kitsune: Hey there, Naru. What happened to you? You sounded all frantic…

Suu: Yeah, did Keitaro do something bad?

Naru: It's nothing bad. Keitaro had a bad headache earlier, and I fell asleep while I was taking care of him. However, when I woke up, he was gone.

Kitsune: It's alright, Naru. If my man was sleeping peacefully in my care, I might drift off, too.

Naru: Right, but he ran off without waking me up…

(Just then, Keitaro, Colin and Ryan enter)

Keitaro: That's because you were sleeping so peacefully that I didn't want to disturb you. Hey, Kitsune and Suu, how're you two?

Naru: Oh, Keitaro, I was worried about you (gives him a big hug)

Keitaro: Glad to see you too, Naru. Thanks for earlier…

Kitsune: Well, we're fine, we were coming to check on Naru after she was yelling for you…

Suu: I see your friends are here… Are you guys here to play with me?

Keitaro: Actually, we were just coming down to study some stuff.

Colin: That's right. Keitaro was going to show us some of his studies.

Ryan: We thought it would be fun hanging out with Keitaro and his friends.

DING!

Ryan: We thought it'd be fun to come down here and throw a party!

DING!

Ryan: We thought it would be fun to come down here and dance around in our underwear to the song 'Free Ride,' to re-enact that scene on the Drew Carey Show…

Colin: NO! We're supposed to be studying.

Keitaro: That's right! We have a job to do!

DING!

Keitaro: That's right! We're supposed to watch TV all day!

DING!

Keitaro: That's right! We were secretly planning on meeting here and clogging all the toilets in a ten-block vicinity!

Suu: That sounds fun! I have just the device for that…

Naru: Dammit Keitaro, you know you're supposed to be studying anyways. Colin, goto Keitaro's desk and get his book out of the drawer!

Colin: (snickers at Naru's idea) Okay.

-Upstairs-

Drew: Wow, Naru opened it up for us… Here we go…

Clive: I've seen Colin make Ryan laugh at some of these.

-Back in Keitaro's room-

Colin: I'll just go over to Keitaro's desk and get it.

Keitaro: Wait, let me get it.

Naru: What's wrong with you? Colin's right over there.

Keitaro: But it's my desk…

Colin: I got it right here… (opens the drawer, gasps)

Keitaro: Wait wait… awww man…

(The three girls start giving Keitaro dirty looks)

Ryan: C'mon, it can't be that bad!

DING!

Ryan: C'mon, how much porno could a guy possibly hide in his desk drawer?

Colin: It's not that, it's some runaway hamsters that toilet papered his drawer, and ran off!

Ryan: (laughing) What? Oh, yeah, I see the paper in there too! Wow, why would you hide that, Keitaro?

Suu: Oh no, that drawer leads to the secret passages, so we must capture them!

Naru: Yeah, what kind of sicko thing is that?

Keitaro: Well, it was sort of a booby trap for anyone that might snoop around my desk without my permission. Originally, they were supposed to come out and wrap the perpetrator, but they got the message at the last minute.

Colin: You mean you trained renegade hamsters to protect and hide your stuff?

DING!

Colin: You mean you trained renegade hamsters to jump out and attack poor defenseless girls with toilet paper?

Keitaro: I'm afraid so!

DING!

Keitaro: That's right, those dirty rotten snoopers!

Ryan: Well said, Keitaro!

Kitsune: Don't you trust us, Keitaro?

Keitaro: Well, when you're in the room, Kitsune, they go on extra alert.

Kitsune: WHA!

DING!

Keitaro: When you come in the room, I want them to have 12 gauge shotguns to protect my stuff! You can never be sure when someone might snoop around in your stuff!

Ryan: Well what kind of stuff don't you want her to see?

Keitaro: Well, actually, there's nothing important like money or diaries, or porn or anything I wouldn't want them to see. It's just textbooks and pens.

Colin: All that for school supplies?

Naru: I don't understand!

Suu: Are school supplies yummy?

Kitsune: No Suu. Keitaro, what's the big deal then? Why booby trap such an unimportant drawer?

Keitaro: Do you know how hard it is to keep pens from walking off?

DING!

Keitaro: Because it's funny!

DING!

Keitaro: I don't know…

BUZZZZZZZZZZZZ!

Ryan: Hey I got an idea. Let's go lounge in the hot springs again… Sound good?

Naru: Sure!

Kitsune: I like the sound of that! Suit up girls!

Colin: I like the sound of that too!

DING!

Colin: I'M SPUNKY!

Ryan: We know!

Keitaro: Let's go guys…

(The guys quickly run down the halls to the studio before the girls can see)

Kitsune: Wow, they were fast. Say, I want to see the toilet paper in Keitaro's drawer. (opens it up) Wow, there is none. Colin must have cleaned it out, or else there was none!

Naru: Hmmm! Lets ask them in the springs!

-Meanwhile-

Drew: Wow, that was great! Naru really opened that one up didn't she…

Clive: I'd give points, but that was a non-scoring round!

DING!

(Clive forgets the bell)

Drew: Clive, bell…

Clive: Oh yes, right! I'd give points, but in all the excitement, I soiled myself!

Drew: (laughs) Great! 1000 points to Clive for saying it like it is! Alright, this next game is for all four performers and it's called 'Hollywood Director.' In this game, Ryan, Keitaro and Wayne are gonna act out a movie scene, and every so often, Colin is going to interrupt the scene as the temperamental movie director and give them suggestions to improve the scene.

Clive: That's right, and the scene is: Ryan is a clumsy taxi driver who picks up Keitaro, who is a businessman in a big hurry, and in all the excitement, Ryan doesn't see Wayne, a pedestrian who is crossing the street, and hits him.

Shinobu: Can I be a bystander that comes to aid Wayne?

Drew: Sure, Shinobu, and after the scene, we're going to play another game, but only Colin needs to come up here for the instructions, thus to keep the girls in the springs. Take it away, guys!

-Meanwhile-

(Naru, Kitsune, and Suu meet in the hot springs along with Motoko and Mutsumi.)

Naru: Hey there girls…

Motoko: What's going on? I take it Urashima and his friends are coming back since you three have suits on?

Kitsune: You got it!

Suu: They're gonna play with us down here…

Mutsumi: Ara, that will be fun!

Naru: And thank goodness Sarah's off with Seta for a while… I was getting tired of her attitude!

Motoko: Well, it's a good thing we still have our bathing suits on. Look, there they are!

(Colin, Ryan, Wayne, Keitaro, and Shinobu enter, and take their places)

(Ryan acts like he is driving, Keitaro waves him down, and Ryan pulls over)

Ryan: (makes a tire screeching noise to stop) Hey there, where you headed?

Keitaro: I'm in a big hurry, I have a meeting to get to at 33rd and Pearce, now step on it!

Ryan: OK! (Makes tire squealing noise, and flips the counter on) What time do you have to be there?

Naru: What are you guys doing?

Keitaro: I have to be there in ten minutes, and it's halfway across town!

Motoko: Naru, it's probably one of their silly games.

Naru: You're probably right!

Ryan: (turns around not paying attention to the road) You know, you should probably leave earlier!

Keitaro: I had an important phone call—HEY! Watch the road! You're gonna hit that guy crossing the street! (Wayne starts walking in front of them)

Ryan: (Makes screeching noise again as they screech to a halt and hit Wayne)

Wayne: (As they come screeching) What the, AAAAHHHH! My leg, my leg! It's broken!

Shinobu: Oh no, someone call the police. What were you thinking, you stupid taxi driver, you hit this man!

Naru: Shinobu's playing too?

Keitaro: Just great! Now I'm gonna be late to my meeting!

(Colin steps in with a pissed off look on his face, shouting)

Colin: CUT, CUT, CUT, CUT, CUT! YOU KNOW, WHEN I WAS IN THE BATHROOM EARLIER, I SAW JUST WHAT I SEE NOW!

Wayne: Lots of water?

Ryan: Wallpaper with the same plants that are here printed on it?

Keitaro: What did you see?

Colin: NO YOU IDIOTS! WHAT I SAW WAS CRAP! LOTS OF CRAP!

Mutsumi: There's no crap in here!

Motoko: I don't think that's what Colin is talking about!

Mutsumi: Oh, well then what is he talking about?

Naru: I think it's their performance…

Shinobu: How was I? I wasn't that bad…

Colin: Oh you were the worst of all! You had no enthusiasm!

(Shinobu Pouts)

Colin: C'mon people, think! (looks at his notes) Hey, I got it! Do it like you all are incredibly drunk!

Kitsune: Sounds like me!

Colin: (Looks at Kitsune) THAT'S WHERE I GOT THE IDEA! ACTION!

(Keitaro starts waving for a taxi while swaying side to side and laughing, and Ryan swerves all over the place, and then closes one eye, in an attempt to see Keitaro and slams on his brakes with his screeching sound)

Ryan: (Laughing Drunkenly) HAHAHA, Wheeeeeeeereya headedto?

Keitaro: I-I-I-I-I-I-I ammm headed tooooo, I am headed too….

Ryan / Keitaro: (Singing) I am headed to, I am headed to, I am headed to…..

Keitaro: WhereamI heaaaaded?

Ryan: Whooooo cares! Just hop in!

(Keitaro staggers into the taxi, Ryan floors it with tire squealing noises)

Ryan: Wanna drinky drinky with me? (Acts like he's passing a bottle to Keitaro)

Keitaro: Yeah, wooooaah, (drinks) heeeey is that guy crossing thestreetahead?

Ryan: Lemme seee. I-it looks like LOTSAPEOPLE! AAAAARGH!

Wayne: (Staggers in front of Ryan) Hee hee hee, my faaaavorite bottle!

Ryan: AAAAARGHH! (Makes tire screeching noises)

Wayne: AAAARGH! BLAUGH! (throws up)

Shinobu: Heeeey, you ran over my buddy's favorite bottle. I wanted mooooooore!

Colin: CUT, CUT, CUT, CUT! OK, I was wrong! People, that was terrible! (Looks at Ryan, points) CRAP! (Looks at Wayne, points) CRAPPIER! (Looks at Keitaro, points) CRAPPIEST!

Naru: What do you mean? I thought it was a good drunken impersonation!

Colin: SHUT UP!

Naru: What! Excuse me?

Shinobu: What about me?

Colin: Not too bad! Alright! (Shinobu smiles) Lets see here… (peeks at his notes) I GOT IT! DO THE WHOLE SCENE BACKWARDS!

Naru: Why would that help?

Motoko: How would the audience enjoy and understand that?

Colin: SHUT UP! NEVER QUESTION MY INTELLIGENCE! I AM A GENIUS!

Motoko: Could have fooled me…

Naru: More like an a---ole if you ask me…

Ryan: ICE HOLE!

Wayne: Ice hole!

Shinobu: Naru! I can't believe you just said that…

Colin: (towards Ryan and Wayne) That's the most intelligent thing you've said all day! ACTION!

Naru: This I gotta see…

Shinobu: man this hit You! driver taxi stupid You! police the call Someone (Walks backwards away)

Wayne: (Laying down) leg my hit You! leg My! leg My! AAAARGH! (Ryan and Keitaro back up making screeching noises, Wayne gets up)

Ryan: AAAAARGH! (Looks back at Keitaro)

Keitaro: man hit gonna You're! Look ! road the Watch! Ack! ..call important an had I...

Ryan: …earlier left have should you ,know You? (looks back at road)

Keitaro: ...meeting a for late I'm! pronto Pearce & 33rd to me Take!

Ryan: ...going ya Where? ..in Hop? (Screeches to a halt)

Keitaro: Taxi! (Waves)

(Ryan Screeches backwards away from Keitaro)

Colin: CUT, CUT, CUT! (Chuckling) I didn't think you'd actually do it… You guys are so gullible!

Shinobu: You mean that was just for fun?

Naru: What! Why did you make them do it in the first place?

Colin: BECAUSE I AM THE DIRECTOR AND YOU'RE NOT! It was also FUNNY!

Naru: You're outta your mind…

Colin: ALRIGHT! What we need… (looks at his notes again) I GOT IT! What we need is sex! What's wrong with you people? Do it like you're all filled with lust!

Naru / Motoko: What!

Motoko: First backwards, now perverts? What else is he gonna make them do?

Mutsumi: Ara, I think it's kind of funny. He's probably doing it to make you two mad…

Suu: Is lust yummy?

Naru / Motoko: NO!

Colin: We'll talk about that later—MUCH later!

DING!

Colin: Who brought the bell in! Did I say we could have a bell here! ACTION!

Ryan: (shifting gears slowly) Oh Yeah! (Stops by Keitaro) Need a lift, big boy?

Keitaro: (in a low sensual voice) Oh yeah, only if it's from you…

DING!

Keitaro: You can drive me around if ya know what I mean!

(Everyone laughs)

Motoko / Naru: WHAT!

Ryan: Where ya headed to?

Keitaro: (rubs against Ryan) Is this seat taken? Get me to a meeting at 33rd and Pearce.

Ryan: Yeah.. I think I can get ya there. (sensually shifts gears again) You know, you should wear pants if you're going to this meeting…

Keitaro: Oops, did I forget to put pants on again? Hey look, someone's in the road. Are you going to hit them?

(Tama flies in just then, lands on Keitaro's Shoulder)

Tama: Myuh!

Keitaro: Oh, yeah, I'm so sexy, I got the animals coming after me!

Tama: Myuh! (disgusted, flies away to the girls)

Ryan: Oh, Yeah! (bumps into Wayne) Oops!

Wayne: Ooooh..

Ryan: (shifts gears and backs up, hits Wayne again) Oops, I'm sorry…

Wayne: (bends over) Oh my! You ran over my foot…

Shinobu: (Walks out to Wayne, Colin interrupts her)

Colin: (Walks out acting like he is smoking a cigarette) CUT, CUT, CUT!

BUZZZZZ!

Colin: I had to stop you guys because it was turning me on.

DING!

Colin: I'm glad we have women here!

Ryan: As always.

Colin: I have to go inside and get something I forgot. I'll be right back…

Naru: What is he gonna do now?

Motoko: I dunno… I will say that when Colin and Ryan are around Keitaro, silliness seems to happen all the time.

(Colin leaves for the studio)

Colin: (Thinking) _I wonder what game is next…_

(Colin arrives in the studio, and is greeted by Drew and Clive)

Drew: Excellent as usual, Colin.

Clive: It seems you have only gotten better since I last hosted.

Colin: And you have only gotten balder, Clive…

Clive: What was that for?

DING!

Clive: Darn skippy!

Colin: I just felt like unleashing some of the bald jokes for once, since I am always the target.

Drew: (Laughing) That's right, chrome dome!

Colin: See what I mean? I'm Drew's 'lightning rod of hate.'

Drew: (Laughing) Alright, well, here's the next game. It's called 'Props,' and Wayne and Keitaro get these (gives him two foam items that look like beer bottle caps that are about 2 feet across) while you and Ryan get these (gives him 2 foam items shaped like a letter 'V') and you guys get to use these in as many funny ways possible. Now go!

Clive: Yes, off with you, baldy!

Colin: I may be bald, but I also have a well defined neck, too!

DING!

Colin: That's right, because I get way more sex than you two!

Drew: (laughing) OOOOH!

-Meanwhile-

Keitaro: Hey Ryan, what is taking Colin so long, I wonder, and what will we do when he gets back?

Ryan: We'll find out soon enough…

Naru: Hey Keitaro, would you like your back washed real quickly while you are waiting?

Keitaro: Sure! That would feel great!

Naru: Well, come over here real quick.

(Keitaro goes over to Naru and she proceeds to wash his back)

Keitaro: Wow, that feels really good!

Ryan: I want my back washed now!

Mutsumi: Ara, Well, come here. I'll gladly wash your back…

(Ryan goes to Mutsumi who proceeds to wash his back, too)

Mutsumi: Ara, Ryan, can you duck down? You are too tall for me…

(Ryan ducks down, and Drew and Clive laugh)

Shinobu: Wayne, would you like your back washed?

Wayne: Gee, let me think… Of course I would. I was starting to feel left out!

(Shinobu washes Wayne's back, and blushes the entire time)

Motoko: Suu, would you wash my back, please?

Suu: Sure I guess.

(Just then, Colin enters with the props)

Suu: Oh boy, Colin's here. Are those yummy?

Keitaro: Suu, those are foam…

Colin: Hey guys! I am back and look what I brought—props!

DING!

Colin: Hey guys! I'm back, and I'm spunkier than ever… Oh, and I'm also a little giddy, too…

DING!

Colin: (sighs) Hey guys, I'm back, and boy, you don't wanna know what I left in the bathroom!

Ryan: (chuckling) I hope it was in the toilet…

Colin: Oh it was, but the toilet melted afterwards…

Girls: EEEEW!

Suu: You sure my mecha-tama didn't zap the toilet with his laser eyes?

Colin: Yes Suu, I'm sure… Anyway, I brought PROPS! We gotta be outta the water for this one. Wayne and Keitaro, here are your props. (Hands them the giant sized foam beer bottlecaps), and Ryan, you and I get these. Alright, now we have to think of using these in as many funny ways as we can, starting with, me and Ryan..

Ryan: (lays the two V's like an X) Not much of a crossroad, is it?

Colin: No..

BUZZ

Wayne: (puts the two bottlecaps on the ground with the top facing up) Yo, Keitaro, watch out for these landmines here.

(Keitaro and Wayne walk carefully around them)

BUZZ

(Colin and Ryan stand-up the 2 V's upside down, both push on the points like buzzers)

Ryan: BUZZ! (Imitates buzzing sound)

Colin: (Quickly) What is the capital of Manitoba?

Ryan: Damn! (Sighs)

BUZZ

(Keitaro has the bottlecaps on their sides like wheels on either side of him)

Keitaro: Hey Wayne, check out my new wheelchair wheels…

(The girls laugh)

Wayne: Hey, those are stylish!

BUZZ

(Ryan and Colin are holding their V's spread apart with the point facing in front of them)

Ryan: Vrooooooooom, Vrooooooom (Imitates motorcycle, Colin is trailing behind him)

BUZZ

Naru: Wayne, let me try one of those with Keitaro…

Wayne: OK.

(Naru grabs both bottlecaps, puts them over her chest)

Naru: Keitaro, how do you like my new swimsuit top?

(Ryan, Colin, and Keitaro giggle)

BUZZ

(Colin has both V's lying down in the shape of a diamond)

Colin: (acts like he is digging with a pickaxe) Hey Ryan, I found a diamond!

Ryan: We're rich!

BUZZ

(Keitaro has both bottlecaps on his head)

Keitaro: Hey Naru, what do you think of this new hat?

BUZZ

Mutsumi: Ara, Colin, can me and Motoko try once?

Colin: Sure.

Motoko: Lets do this.

(The take the V's and put them on their heads with the point in the air)

Mutsumi: Ara, we're enchanted forest gnomes.

Motoko: Yes, and now we can decorate your front yard…

(Everyone laughs)

BUZZ!

(Keitaro and Wayne lay the bottlecaps down next to each other, to insinuate breast shaped lumps)

Wayne: We've come today to bury Sheryl Crow…

BUZZ!

(Ryan and Colin have the X laid out again)

Ryan: The spot—X! Shovel that way!

(They act like they are shoveling snow)

Colin: If only we had an electric beaver!

BUZZ, BUZZ, BUZZ!

Colin: Alright guys! That was fun, but us four guys need to go upstairs for a bit, because we look like prunes!

DING!

Colin: That was fun, but we need to go upstairs for a bit and fix that melted toilet!

Ryan: Later, girls…

DING!

Ryan: So long, suckers!

Naru: Hey, why are we suckers!

Keitaro: I dunno. Shinobu, come with us please. We need a favor..

Shinobu: Right behind you…

(and with that, the 5 escape to the studio leaving a stunned Naru, Suu, Mutsumi, and Motoko behind)

Suu: I'm hungry.

Motoko: That was entertaining, but why did Ryan say 'So long, suckers' to us?

Naru: He was probably just being silly. We should probably go inside, too, before we cook.

(Just then Mutsumi faints)

Naru: Oh, dear.

Motoko: Let's get her inside, quick.

(They carry Mutsumi in, and she wakes up quickly)

Mutsumi: I guess I was in the water too long…

-Meanwhile-

Drew: That was incredible! 5000 points to you guys for letting the girls try the props and 1000 points to the girls for playing with the props!

Colin: I didn't think they'd actually do that…

Keitaro: That took me by surprise.

Clive: That was rather entertaining.

Drew: Speaking of surprises, when we return from the break, the secret is revealed to the girls, so don't miss it!

Ryan: It's gonna be funny!

Drew: Yes, so don't go anywhere. Whose Line: Love Hina Edition will be right back!

* * *

As always guys, please r & r, and thanks for reading! 


	8. Segment 8

Disclaimer: All characters/registered names are not mine, and owned by their respective owners, and are used for entertainment purposes...

(parentheses) indicates actions

**Bold underline** indicates a caption on the TV screen

Special Thanks to my buddies **NewLyfe06 & LB** for editing/proofreading for me…

Special Thanks also goes to **The Unknown Alias** for his wonderful donation of 'Scenes From A Hat' Scenes!

* * *

Drew: Welcome back to Whose Line is it Anyway: Love Hina Edition… I am so excited about this part of the show, because we get to reveal ourselves to the girls shortly. Also, before we continue, I had the privilege of reading another of JonJ's favorites: 'Love Hina Redux' by Ten-Faced Paladin, and I highly recommend it! It is about how the world would be if Keitaro were a little more confident in himself… 

Keitaro: What? I'm very confident in myself!

Drew: Sure you are, Captain Crys-a-lot!

Keitaro: Hey! (acts like he is weeping) T-that's n-not ver-ry n-nice!

Drew: Yes, so Ten-Faced Paladin—I'd give you 5 million points for your story, but Ryan and Colin didn't guest star in it, and also for using the names Yoshinori Urabe and Kaori Urawa, but I will award 5000 points in advance to Keitaro for getting hit in the crotch when Naru fell on him in the streetcar in chapter 4…

Keitaro: Thanks Drew, but I didn't think that was funny! It was a painfully smashing experience if you know what I mean! (Drew Laughs)

Clive: Well, I give it a plain 50 thousand points for quick updates, and good storyline…

Ryan: Gee, this poor guy is gonna get confused with all these points changes…

(Drew laughs, Clive chuckles)

Ryan: Hey Drew, how do you think the girls will react when they find out?

Colin: I bet Naru kicks Keitaro's ass again…

DING!

Colin: I bet we'll all get to sit down and sing a good round of 'Kumbaya'… (Drew Laughs)

DING!

Colin: How the hell should I know? We haven't done it yet!

Keitaro: I liked the first one better.

Ryan: Guys, show!

Clive: Oh, right! Drew, what's our next game?

Drew: Our next game is for Colin, Ryan, Wayne, and Keitaro, with the help of Shinobu and it's called 'Party Quirks.' In it, the guys are going to each have a strange quirk or identity written on these cards that they are looking at, and have never seen before. Now, as always, there is a Love Hina quirk in this game, and that is that Shinobu won't host the party. She is going to get Motoko to do it!

Clive: That's right, and the guys will line up at the door while one of us rings the doorbell.

Shinobu: You mean Motoko gets to endure some torture?

Drew: That's right! Now head off to prepare Motoko, and I'll send the guys to the door!

(Shinobu goes down to get Motoko, and the guys head out)

-Downstairs-

Shinobu: Hey Motoko, can you help me with something?

Motoko: Sure, what do you need?

Shinobu: I invited Keitaro and his friends to come have some snacks, but I need some help setting up drinks. Also, can you answer the door when they come? They are coming separately.

Motoko: Sure. I'll be glad to do that. Is this like a party?

Kitsune: Did you say party? Count me in!

Naru: Me too!

Kanako: I am anxious to see big brother!

Suu: I want some food too!

Shinobu: Alright I guess it is a party then! Mutsumi, please put some music on!

Mutsumi: Ara, ok!

DING DONG, DING DONG, DING DONG, DING DONG, DING DONG!

(Motoko answers the door, Wayne is there)

Motoko: Hi Wayne. Good to see you again. Make yourself at home…

Wayne: **In a hot dog eating contest** Hi there! Nice to be here… (Acts like he is stuffing hot dogs in his mouth)

Motoko: Are you ok, Wayne?

Shinobu: Oh, they must be playing charades…

Wayne: Mmph mmmmphmmmm…. (Stuffs more hot dogs in his mouth)

Suu: Oh boy! Wayne's trying to be me!

Kanako: No, that's not it. I've seen something like that in Grandma's worldly travels in America…

DING DONG, DING DONG, DING DONG, DING DONG, DING DONG, DING DONG!

Motoko: Hang on, Wayne…

(Motoko answers the door, Colin is there)

Colin: **A pirate in a battle** ARRRR matey! You will never live to steal me treasure! (Acts like he is firing cannons, and his ship is rocking) THAR SHE BLOWS!

Motoko: (Looks at Colin funny) Easy, the snacks over here…

Mutsumi: Ara, come here and have some chips and salsa, Colin!

Colin: (Acts like he is drawing a sword) Draw your sword and fight me like a man!

Motoko: What are you talking about? I won't fight you. You're…bald…and…not really holding a sword!

Colin: ARRRR, the first ones to go are the ones making the bald-cracks!

DING DONG, DING DONG, DING DONG, DING DONG, DING DONG, DING DONG!

Motoko: I wonder who's next? (Opens door, Ryan enters) Hi Ryan! Come in…

Ryan: **Practicing his kissing scene with Wayne, Colin and Keitaro** Hi there, Motoko. (Looks at Colin) Ahhh, there you are! I've been worried sick about you. Where were you today?

Colin: Quick Matey, fire the cannons, this one's comin close!

Mutsumi: Ara, I'll help…matey, or whatever you said! Can I steer the ship?

Colin: No, FIRE THE CANNONS! ARRR!

Wayne: (Acts like he is stuffing more hot dogs in his mouth)

Ryan: (Goes to Colin, caresses his face) I missed you so much. (Embraces Colin, kisses him)

Naru: What the hell are you doing, Ryan!

Motoko: Woah, that's kinda…creepy… Ryan, what has come over you?

Colin: (Acting like he is spitting) ACK! I've been attacked by King Triton of the merman! I'll have his head! (Acts like he punches Ryan, who falls to the floor)

DING DONG, DING DONG, DING DONG, DING DONG, DING DONG!

Motoko: Wow! What a weird group you guys are! (Sarcastically) Gee, I can't seem to guess who _this_ is…. (Opens door, Keitaro is there, kneeling) Hey there, Urashima. Why did you ring the doorbell? You live here….

Keitaro: **Super Mario in who thinks Colin, Ryan and Wayne are Bowser's Minions ** It's-a me…. (Jumps) Oh, look, is that-a mushroom? (grabs a mushroom, and makes the appropriate powerup noise and stands up) Ahhh! Oh, my, is that a goomba? (Looks at Ryan) Where's a question block!

Ryan: (Goes to Wayne) You are the only one for me… (Embraces Wayne as Wayne stuffs his face again) I love you… (Kisses Wayne)

Wayne: MMMPH! BLAUGHHHHHHHH! (Pukes all over Ryan)

Motoko: Wayne, are you supposed to be in a county fair eating contest?

BUZZZZZZZ!

Wayne: Yes! (Goes and sits down on the couch)

Keitaro: Look, I gotta raccoon tail now. I will get you yet, Bowser… (Acts like he is going to jump on Colin, Colin pokes him with his sword) Oh No! (Keitaro kneels again)

Colin: ARRRR MATEY, you will never kill me!

Motoko: You're a funny pirate, Colin!

Colin: A pirate who is doing what?

Motoko: You're in a battle of some kind, fighting everyone…

BUZZZZZZZ!

Colin: You got it!

Keitaro: Die, goomba! (Acts like he is shooting fireballs from his fingers towards Ryan)

Ryan: (Goes to Keitaro) This will never work between us… (Embraces Keitaro and Kisses him)

Keitaro: Mamma-mia… (Shrinks back down to small Mario)

Motoko: Ok, Ryan, you are just kissing everybody, but I will say thanks for _not_ kissing me!

BUZZZZZZ!

Ryan: I'd have kissed you, but, I wouldn't have liked it!

Motoko: WHAT! That's insulting… You're gonna pay for that, Stiles! (Pulls out her sword) ROCK SPLITTING SWORD! (Launches a ki attack at Ryan, and Keitaro jumps in and pushes Ryan out of the way, Keitaro smashes into a wall and falls to the floor)

Shinobu: Keitaro!

Motoko: Urashima… Why did you intercept? You could get hurt…

Colin: Wow, Ryan, you did it this time!

Ryan: Ok, first off, you need to control yourself Motoko… It's just a game. By the way, what was Keitaro?

Motoko: Well, before he got hurt, I think he was Super Mario…

Colin: Yes, he was! Now let's fix him up!

BUZZZZZZZZZZZZ!

(Everyone goes to Keitaro, Motoko sheathes her sword)

Keitaro: I'm alright… (Staggering) Did anyone catch the number on that locomotive?

(Suu jumps in and clamps onto Keitaro)

Suu: Heyas Keitaro, it's gonna be just fine…

Keitaro: (Muffled) Get off me Suu!

Kanako: Big brother… You must be strong…

Naru: Are you ok? That was a direct hit…

Motoko: I'm sorry, Ryan and Urashima! I will control my temper better next time…

Ryan: You could have killed me! I am not invincible like Keitaro!

Colin: Well, hey girls, you all need to join us upstairs right now! We have a surprise we have been working on…

Ryan: That's right! Everybody come upstairs right now! Someone get Haruka!

(Just then the phone rings)

Shinobu: I got it! (Picks up the phone) Hello? Yes! Ok, we'll be up in a second. Bye! (Hangs up the phone)

Keitaro: Was that who I think it was?

Shinobu: Yes, and Haruka's upstairs already!

Motoko: What's upstairs?

Wayne: You'll see… C'mon everyone! This is gonna be fun!

Naru: Well, ladies, lets go! If this is perverted, you guys are gonna get it!

Suu: I hope there's food upstairs!

Keitaro: Just come on…

(They get upstairs, enter the room and see Drew, Clive and Haruka)

Naru: Oh my gosh, Drew Carey is here?

Suu: Wow, is this a TV studio in our spare room?

Drew: Welcome, Ladies! Nice to finally get to meet all of you! Secondly, Keitaro, are you alright?

Keitaro: Yes, that was a direct ki hit, but I managed…

Motoko: Sorry Keitaro…

Drew: So, 1000 points to everyone for that, it was quite funny! Hey guys, want some mints?

(Gives Altoid mints to Ryan, Colin, Wayne and Keitaro)

Mutsumi: Ara, this is interesting. Points, Drew Carey, TV cameras…

Naru: Keitaro, what's the meaning of this?

Drew: I thought you girls would never ask! Clive are you ready for this?

Clive: Lets do it!

(They pull a string, and a banner open's up on the front of the desk that reads 'Welcome Girls')

Drew: Ladies, sit down and relax while the guys explain their day here at Hinata-sou, and what we are really doing. This is also our next game, and is called 'Irish Drinking Song' where they each sing out one line at a time, and they're going to tell you what we're really doing here!

Clive: Wow, a new game… I've never seen this one before…

Drew: It's really funny to watch!

DING!

Drew: Colin always makes us die laughing at the end!

DING!

Drew: (Stands up and positions himself, sings) I'm a little teapot, short and stout… Here is my handle, here is my spout!

(Everyone laughs)

Ryan: (Walks over to Drew, sticks his hand up to Drew's mouth) I see you forgot to take your medication today… Here you go… (Drew acts like he is taking his meds)

(Everyone Laughs)

Clive: Alright! Well, let's not forget Laura Hall and Linda Taylor helping the guys out with this!

Drew: That's right! Take it away guys!

(Music Starts)

Guys: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh, ei-di-de-di-de-di-de-di-de-di-de-di-de-die!

Wayne: Oh, just this morning…

Keitaro: We came to Hinata-Sou…

Colin: Boy we had some fun…

Ryan: Drew looks like a cow…

(Girls laugh)

Wayne: We're all from a TV show…

Keitaro: It is well known…

Colin: It's called 'Whose Line is it Anyway, girls…'

Ryan: (Holds his hand up) Oh, I passed a stone!

(Everyone laughs)

Guys: Ohhhhh, ei-di-de-di-de-di-de-di-de-di-de-di-de-die!

Keitaro: We played lots of games today…

Colin: Most were just like pranks…

Ryan: We had fun fooling you girls…

Wayne: Although you are not skanks!

Girls: Heeeeey….

Keitaro: I love each of you girls very much…

Girls: Awww….

Colin: And we had a blast…

Ryan: What we did today…

Wayne: Keitaro should be in a cast!

Guys: Ohhhhh, ei-di-de-di-de-di-de-di-de-di-de-di-de-die!

(Drew, Clive and the girls Laugh)

Colin: Whose Line is a lotta fun…

Ryan: More than you think…

Wayne: Wait 'til you see what happens next…

Keitaro: (points at his shirt) Would this look pretty in pink?

(everyone laughs)

Colin: We loved every minute of it…

Ryan: We hope you did too…

Wayne: There's more laughs a-comin'…

Keitaro: There's blood in Colin's stool!

(Everybody laughs)

Guys: (Laughing) Ohhhhh, ei-di-de-di-de-di-de-di-de-di-de-di-de-die!

Girls: EEEEWWWWW!

Suu: Is a stool yummy?

(Drew and Clive Laugh)

Girls: NO!

Guys: (Laughing subsides) Ohhhhh, ei-di-de-di-de-di-de-di-de-di-de-di-de-die!

Ryan: (Chuckling) Oh, wait—we're not done yet…

Wayne: There's more games to play…

Keitaro: And for your trouble a big prize at the end…

Colin: Because that's the way…

Ryan: You'll have lots of fun with us…

Wayne: We are no fools…

Keitaro: Haruka and Shinobu were in on this too…

Colin: I peed in your pool!

(Drew, Clive, and all the guys along with most of the girls except Naru and Motoko are laughing uncontrollably)

Guys: (Laughing) Ohhhhh, ei-di-de-di-de-di-de-di-de-di-de-di-de-die! (Laughing continues, everyone but Colin is rolling on the floor)

Colin: Ohhhhh, ei-di-de-di-de-di-de-di-de-diiii-deeee-diiii-deeeeee-diiiiiiiiiiiie!

BUZZZZZ!

(Everyone is still laughing)

Naru: Colin, I hope you were playing around!

Motoko: That's right, Mochrie! Keitaro won't be able to save you for peeing in our bath…

Colin: Relax, girls. It was all just to get a laugh…

Drew: Wow, that was an amazing Irish Drinking Song!

Clive: Yes, very nice job at my first experienced Irish Drinking Song…

Drew: 5000 points to Suu for getting such a good laugh out of us!

Suu: Thanks!

Drew: And 10 thousand points to everyone else for such a funny song!

Naru: So Drew, we've actually fallen victim to 'Whose Line is it Anyway?'

Drew: Yes, as you girls have discovered, you all have been on 'Whose Line' all day. It is the Love Hina special of 'Whose Line is it Anyway'…

Motoko: So we've been on TV all day?

Drew: That's right! It all started with the superheroes game, where Keitaro was a crybaby in front of Naru…

Naru: That would make sense. Well, it is a funny show, so I'm glad to be on it… I just realized that the silliness didn't start until that stunt, so it makes sense. Who all knew about it? I heard something about Shinobu and Haruka…

Keitaro: That's right! Haruka was the only one that knew, but after Shinobu stormed off when you all made her mad, she saw us run in here, and we decided to let her know…

Drew: Well, I hate to cut this short, but we have to move on to the next game…

Ryan: What's the next game?

Drew: It's called 'Scenes From A Hat' and it is for Ryan, Colin, Keitaro and Wayne, as well as Motoko, Mutsumi, Naru, and Kitsune, and Suu, you can step in as well if you want.

Girls: WHAT!

Clive: Girls, you can just step in and play when you want. This is just a quick, fun game…

Drew: Alright! In this game, we've had audience members write suggestions for scenes they'd like to see pulled out of this hat, and we take the good ones and throw the rest away, and you all get to act out these scenes. You guys ready? Naru and Kitsune, team up with Ryan and Colin, while Suu, Motoko and Mutsumi can team up with Wayne and Keitaro… Clive, pull the first scene…

Clive: Alright… (Pulls out a slip) 'Signs to Tell You've Entered Hell'

(Ryan walks out)

Ryan: Oh God, they won't stop playing Michael Bolton!

BUZZ!

(Naru walks out)

Naru: Perverts! I'm surrounded by perverts!

BUZZ!

(Wayne walks out)

Wayne: Everyone's white, but me…

BUZZ!

(Ryan walks out)

Ryan: (singing) I've been singing this hoedown for three years straight… It really, really sucks, it isn't that great…

BUZZ!

(Motoko walks out)

Motoko: Turtles! I'm surrounded by turtles!

BUZZ!

(Suu walks out)

Suu: Why does everything taste bad?

BUZZ!

(Ryan walks out, looks at Drew)

Ryan: You're here… I knew this was how you got two shows!

BUZZ!

Drew: Alright… What's the next scene, Clive?

Clive: (pulls out a slip) What Tama is really saying…

(Keitaro walks out)

Keitaro: Watch this! I bet I can make Motoko pee all over herself…

BUZZ!

(Drew Laughs)

(Colin walks out)

Colin: (Sings) I peed in the pool!

(Everyone laughs)

BUZZ!

Drew: Alright. (pulls out a slip) Naru's perverted thoughts…

(Naru gives Drew and Clive the 'evil eye')

(Keitaro walks out and stands there, the guys laugh)

BUZZ!

(Ryan and Colin walk out, Colin bends over like he is touching his toes, Ryan steps up behind him, grabs Colin's waist)

Ryan: The letter 'H'

BUZZ!

Naru: EEEEEWWW!

(Everybody laughs)

(Ryan and Colin walk out, and Ryan licks Colin's head)

(Everybody laughs, Naru gets even more mad)

BUZZ!

Naru: Alright, let's move on!

(Wayne walks out)

Naru: Oh, no!

Wayne: (in a high pitched voice) Hi, I'm Michael Jackson! Hee hee! (Dances like Michael Jackson)

BUZZ!

(Everyone Laughs)

(Ryan walks out)

Naru: Geez! Are you guys going to pick on me all day?

(Drew Laughs)

Ryan: I wish Ryan would turn around so I could look at his ass…

BUZZ!

(Colin walks out)

Naru: NOOOOOOO!

Colin: Animal Gynecology...

(Everyone laughs)

BUZZ!

Naru: Gr-ross! That one takes the cake. Enough already!

Drew: Alright, Naru… I'll spare you anymore torture…

Naru: Oh thanks…

Clive: (pulls out a slip, chuckles) Colin jokes if he wasn't bald…

(Wayne walks out, shapes his hand like a phone, talks into it)

Wayne: Noo honey, I'm oot and aboot…. (Then in a Cartman like voice) BLAME CANADA!

BUZZ!

(Ryan walks out, uses his hand to pull his upper hair back like he is bald, looks around, then walks back, Drew laughs)

BUZZ!

Drew: Wow, Colin, even when you're not bald, they still make fun of your baldness…

Colin: I know…

(Motoko and Mutsumi walk out, Motoko gets on her knees)

Motoko: (Towards Mutsumi) Hey Ryan, I don't see the girls coming; I'm gonna pee in the pool, you keep a look out. (Motoko turns around and holds her hands in front of her crotch as if she were Colin peeing)

Mutsumi: (Towards Motoko, looks away) Ara, Ok, Colin…

(Everyone laughs)

BUZZ!

Drew: (Laughing) That was really funny… 

Clive: OK… (Pulls out a slip) Why Suu is crazy…

(Keitaro walks out)

Keitaro: Geez, I ate too much spicy food! Must run fast to find water!

BUZZ!

(Naru walks out)

Naru: MMMM, yummy, stool!

(Everyone laughs)

BUZZ!

(Colin walks out)

Colin: Heyas Kitsune, can I try some of your sake?

BUZZ!

(Motoko walks out)

Motoko: Suu, I didn't know you were directly related to Colin!

(Everyone laughs)

BUZZ!

Drew: Alright! Moving right along…

Clive: (Pulls out a slip) Unlikely Fanfictions…

(Wayne walks out, gets Colin and Ryan to come out)

Wayne: And it's 'Love Hina Redux's' guest stars, Colin and Ryan…

BUZZ!

(Colin walks out)

Colin: 'Sewer Hina' – the story of what is brewing in Hinata-sou's septic tank!

BUZZ!

(Motoko walks out)

Motoko: 'The Dustbowl' – The story of how Colin went bald…

(Drew laughs)

BUZZ!

(Colin immediately walks out)

Colin: 'The Sword In The Stone' – The story of how Motoko disembowels herself trying to remove a kidney stone…

Ryan: Ooooh.. That's wrong…

BUZZ!

Drew: Ok, no more… What's next, Clive?

Clive: Well, be patient and I'll tell you..

DING!

Clive: DAMMIT, quit being so impatient! (Pulls out a slip) What Keitaro does when flying through the air.

(Ryan walks out)

Ryan: (Acts like he is shaking something up) Yahtzee!

BUZZ!

(Wayne walks out)

Wayne: (Singing) Here I come to save the day!

(Drew and Keitaro laugh)

BUZZ!

(Shinobu walks out)

Shinobu: I plot my revenge on Naru! HAHAHAHAHAHA (evil laugh)

(Everyone laughs)

BUZZ!

Drew: Alright.

Clive: (pulls out a slip) If Motoko wasn't a swordswoman…

(Ryan and Colin walk out, Ryan acts like he is putting makeup on Colin's face)

Ryan: (Towards Colin) Oh, Motoko, I think you should try this candy apple red lipstick today. It would match your dress…

Colin: (Towards Ryan) Okay, Naru. Do you think these shoes would go good with this dress?

BUZZ!

(Everyone laughs)

(Wayne walks out)

Wayne: (Acts like his hand is a phone, dials, Suu, walks out, 'answers' the phone)

Suu: Hello? 911 Emergency…

Wayne: Heh heh, do you have Prince Albert in a can?

BUZZ!

(Everyone laughs)

(Mutsumi and Motoko (Ironically) walk out)

Motoko: (towards Mutsumi) Alright, Ms. Motoko… How am I doing?

Mutsumi: (towards Motoko) YOU ARE DOING TERRIBLE! USE YOUR TURN SIGNAL AND THEN SWITCH LANES!

Motoko: WAAAHHH! I'm sorry!

BUZZ!

(Ryan walks out, Colin follows)

Ryan: I just graduated college with a double major and opened my first veterinary clinic. Here's my card. (Acts like he is giving Colin a business card)

Colin: Lets see. 'Dr. Motoko Aoyoma, Vetrinarian / Taxidermist – Our motto: Either way, you'll get your dog back….!' (Crumbles up card, runs away)

BUZZ!

(Drew is Laughing, Ryan starts laughing)

Drew: Alright, what's next?

Clive: Let's see… (Pulls out a slip) World's Worst Inn Managers…

(Colin and Ryan walk out, stand there, and walk back)

BUZZ!

(Keitaro walks out, and points at Clive and Drew)

Keitaro: Girls let me introduce you to our new managers, Clive Anderson and Drew Carey…

BUZZ!

(Ryan walks out)

Ryan: (In an Arkansas accent) Hi there ladies, I'm Bill Clinton… I just wanted to tell y'all that I will not have sexual relations with y'all.

BUZZ!

(Just then, Eikichi Onizuka walks in)

Eikichi: Hey guys, I'm Eikichi Onizuka and I'm 22 years old, and very single… I'm gonna be the greatest teacher in Japan!

Keitaro: Yo, Wrong story!

Eikichi: Oops, my mistake! (He walks out)

(everyone laughs)

BUZZ!

Keitaro: What perfect timing…

Drew: One more…

Clive: (Pulls out a slip, laughs) Haha… Possible Naru and Motoko blackmail…

Drew: Haha… Keitaro's gonna love this one. (Naru growls)

Motoko: Oh, no!

(Drew laughs)

(Ryan and Colin walk out, act like they are making out, Keitaro walks out)

Keitaro: Dum dee dumm dumm dumm… (Looks at Ryan and Colin) Oh, my, what's this? Naru! Motoko!

Ryan: Umm, this isn't what it looks like…

Colin: Ummm…

Both: Ohhhhh, ei-di-de-di-de-di-de-di-de-di-de-di-de-die!

BUZZ!

(Mutsumi walks out)

Mutsumi: (Acts like she is opening a door) Ara, Naru, Motoko, what are you two doing locked up in this room with Colin handcuffed to MY bed!

(Colin steps out, smiles, gives a big thumbs up)

BUZZ!

(Kitsune walks out)

Kitsune: Naru, Motoko… Are those my old Barbie dolls you are playing with!

BUZZ!

Drew: Ok, I guess we can do what more.

Clive: Alright… (Pulls out another slip) World's worst thing to eat for dinner.

(Ryan walks out)

Ryan: Why it's peanut butter and pickle sandwiches…

BUZZ!

(Suu walks out)

Suu: Anything Naru cooks!

(Everyone laughs, except Naru)

BUZZ!

Naru: Hey, my cooking's not that bad, right guys?

(No one comments)

(Colin walks out)

Drew: Oh, no…

Colin: It's monkey testicles and cola!

(All the guys laugh)

BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ!

Drew: Alright! Enough of that…

Clive: Very nice indeed…

DING!

Clive: I'm sorry, but I wasn't paying attention…

Drew: (Laughs) A thousand points a piece, and an extra 5000 to Naru and Motoko for being good sports about it…

Clive: And we mustn't forget 500 to Keitaro for playing Yahtzee in the air!

Drew: (Laughs) That's right! Hey, stay tuned… We will be right back with more fun, and the winner on 'Whose Line is it Anyway: Love Hina Edition' in just a moment!

* * *

A/N: Thanks again to all for reading and reviewing, and just so you know, it's not over yet! Also, maybe this will get Ten-Faced Paladin to put his John Hancock in my reviews page! 


	9. Segment 9

Disclaimer: All characters/registered names are not mine, and owned by their respective owners, and are used for entertainment purposes...

(parentheses) indicates actions

**Bold underline** indicates a caption on the TV screen

Special Thanks to my buddies **NewLyfe06 & LB** for editing/proofreading for me…

**I have made fan-art for this story. The Link is on my FF net author-bio page…**

Also, bust out LH episode 12 for a game in this segment…

With that said, on with the show!

* * *

Drew: Welcome back to Whose Line Is It Anyway: Love Hina Edition, where everything's made up and the points don't matter. The points are just like fashionable shoes to Ryan Stiles… (Ryan sneers) I'm Drew Carey, and I'm the original burger king! Hey, just wanted to give props out to LariaKaiba's story, 'Whose Line is it Anyway' for all you Yu-Gi-Oh fans out there. The funny thing is, when Ryan, Colin, Wayne, and I showed up for the taping, we were immediately thrown out because we were supposedly not the real cast of 'Whose Line is it Anyway!' So LariaKaiba, sit back and relax as the often imitated, but never duplicated, and more importantly _original_ 'Whose Line is it Anyway' kicks off! 

Clive: That's right, who else can say that they have not only one, but both hosts of the show in one episode?

Drew: That's right, Laria, my job's not so easy, especially when your improvisers start misbehaving…

DING!

Drew: That's right! You can't be the host, because unlike you, I can eat 15 whole deep-dish pizzas in 5 minutes, and top them off with a bucket of onion rings!

DING!

Drew: That's right! You can't be the host, because you don't have two shows like me…

DING!

Drew: That's right! You can't be the host, because unlike you, I can sing 'I'm a little teapot' while eating a slice of pizza and patting my head and rubbing my belly…

DING!

Drew: Alright, I'll be nice. 1 Million points to Laria for great work, and devoted reviewers!

Colin: I must say that no one ends an Irish Drinking Song better than me!

DING!

Colin: Compared to your improvisers, I'M SPUNKY!

Ryan: I just wanna know who replaced me… No one compares to my height.

Keitaro: I know, you tower over even the tallest of us, Motoko…

DING!

Keitaro: He is taller than Mt. Fuji, just about…

DING!

Keitaro: He's taller than Hinata-sou itself…

Motoko: He is pretty tall…

Drew: That's right… I'm surprised you haven't hit your head on anything since the superheroes game…

(Everyone boos)

Ryan: That's because I can see where I need to duck and have been quite careful… I'm surprised you haven't broken floorboards since you are so big, Drew…

Drew: Hey, hey, hey! I _earned_ this weight from all the hamburgers, pizza and cake that I eat!

Ryan: Yes, but I've seen you sit on a horse, and watch it collapse…

DING!

Ryan: Isn't that the fourth chair you've gone through this week?

(Everyone laughs)

Wayne: Wow… You guys are mean…

Drew: Alright… I'm sorry I made fun of your height… You're my friend and I shouldn't make fun of you on national TV.

Ryan: And?

(Everyone laughs)

Drew: (Pulls out a left over 'Whose Line' slip) I have a circus in my pants…

(Everyone laughs)

Drew: Alright, as you know, right before the commercial break, we revealed ourselves to the girls… What will happen next?

Clive: Well it is time to move on to our next game.

Drew: That's right, and it's everyone's favorite game, HOEDOWN!

Ryan: Oh, no!

Drew: That's right, but not only that, it's a special hoedown, because it's for everyone, along with Naru, Motoko, Kitsune, and Mutsumi joining in, all with the help of Laura Hall and Linda Taylor on the instruments… This hoedown will have a slightly different order than usual, since the girls will be joining in. Wayne will start, and will be followed by Keitaro, Naru, Motoko, Kitsune, Mutsumi, and finally Colin and Ryan…

Ryan: Of course I will be last…

Drew: That's because you come last among all my friends…

DING!

Drew: That's because you are at the bottom of the barrel with the rest of the scum around here…

Ryan: (laughs) Gee thanks…

(Everyone laughs)

Clive: Ok and the topic of this hoedown is 'Other Whose Line Fanfics.' Kinda fits in with Drew's comments from earlier…

Drew: Before the show, we took a poll to see which game everyone wanted to see the girls play, and Hoedown was the number one request… So, here's to all who wanted to hear the girls do a hoedown… Also, our apologies to the people that wanted to hear other various topics for the hoedown… Laura and Linda, whenever you're ready, let's hear the 'Other Whose Line Fanfics' Hoedown…

(Music Starts)

Wayne: (Singing)

Other Whose Line fanfics really just aren't cool…

They replace us all, with characters that are fools…

It just doesn't seem right, and it's not as funny…

But with the lack of fame, they save a lotta money…

(Wayne starts dancing)

Keitaro: (Singing)

Drew, Wayne, Colin and Ryan really are quite fun…

Replacing them with others, just gives me the runs…

When I watch Whose Line, I cannot be fooled…

Where else can you hear Colin say, "I peed in your pool…"

(Keitaro Dances with Wayne)

Naru: (Singing)

Whose Line Is It Anyway really, really rocks…

The original cast really is the tops…

Just one problem-besides Keitaro-to get off my chest…

Why must I get up here and sing with the rest?

(Drew gives Naru a 'thumbs up')

Motoko: (Singing)

Boy, today, we had a lot of fun…

Other similar fanfics are quite dumb…

Without these four guys it isn't quite the same…

Without them, Whose Line is kinda lame…

(Motoko and Naru dance, Keitaro and Wayne Dance)

Kitsune: (Singing)

The other Whose Line fanfics have no wise cracks…

Without these four guys, the show, it just lacks…

I will say, the jokes can't be called…

Especially jokes about Colin…

Saying that he's bald…

(Drew Laughs, Colin gets the 'Why I oughtta look' on his face)

Mutsumi: (Singing)

Ara, Whose Line fanfics really can't compare…

To big sticks with big noses—Ryan; and Colin's lack of hair…

But the worst thing of all that's really, really scary…

Is a host that's not Clive or Drew Carey!

(Kitsune and Mutsumi dance, while sipping their Sake)

(Colin and Ryan sigh shaking their heads, Drew Laughs)

Colin: (Singing in his usual talking way)

Other Whose Line Fanfics, really are quite funky…

Other Whose Line fanfics don't have me yelling 'I'M SPUNKY'…

Other fanfics characters cannot pass the test…

Because Ryan, Wayne, Drew and I…

Are all hung the best!

(The guys laugh, the girls give Colin the Evil eye, Wayne High Five's Colin, and Wayne, Keitaro and Colin dance, Drew gives a thumbs-up)

Ryan: (Singing)

Colin says we're hung the best, to that I must agree…

All except for one of us, so it be…

He says we've all got a big penis; that is no jive…

'xcept for a bald guy with no neck, whose name is Clive!

Everybody: Whose name is Clive!

(Drew starts laughing)

BUZZZZZZZ!

Clive: Such a fictional ending to that game…

(Drew Interrupts)

Drew: So, 10,000 points to Ryan for not using me in that last bit…

Clive: And minus 15,000 points to Ryan for his accusations!

Ryan: What about the girls?

Drew: A thousand points to each of them for surviving their first hoedown!

(Naru, Motoko, Kitsune and Mutsumi cheer)

Wayne: Why didn't they go first?

Drew: We wanted them to get the idea down…

Keitaro: And I suppose you wanted Naru to come right after me?

Drew: That's right!

Keitaro: And notice I said 'come _right_ after' and not 'come after'… (Drew Laughs) I wanted to make it clear that I wasn't being hunted down for something 'perverted'…

Colin: Both of those phrases sound perverted, Keitaro…

Wayne: Hey, hey, hey! This is a family show…

Naru: No kidding! Colin is sounding more like the pervert here…

Colin: Maybe I am, maybe I am not… Who knows?

Ryan: Hey Drew, what's our next game called?

Clive: I can answer that… First off, it is for our favorite Keitaro bashers, Naru, and Motoko, as well as Ryan and Colin, and it's called 'Helping Hands…'

Ryan: Wow, _Drew_… Suddenly, you have no hair and no neck!

Drew: (In his best British accent) That's right, Ryan, and my name is Clive… (Everyone laughs) Just kidding, folks… Alright! In this game, Ryan has invited Naru and Motoko to dinner, where he will try to compete for their love, but the catch is that Ryan cannot use his hands.

Naru/Motoko: (Quickly interrupt Drew) What?

Naru: How can we play a game with Ryan where he can't use his hands?

Drew: I was getting to that… Colin will provide the hands for Ryan…

Naru/Motoko: Oooooh…

(Motoko and Naru get in position, Ryan and Colin put on White long sleeve shirts)

Drew: So, whenever you're ready, take it away, Ryan…

(Colin steps behind Ryan who wraps his arms around back of Colin, while Colin puts his arms through and they appear to be Ryan's arms)

A/N: For this skit, I will be typing most arm actions as if they were Ryan's arms.

Ryan: (Waving arms around) Motoko, and Naru, the prettiest of all ladies… (caresses their chins with each hand) …thank you for coming over…

Naru: Thanks for having us over, Ryan…

Motoko: Oh yes, I can't wait to see what you have prepared for us tonight…

Ryan: (Waving arms around) You know, I can cook much better than that shy girl, Shinobu…

Naru: Really? Wow, well, you know, ever since she stole my _ex_-boyfriend Keitaro away from me, I REFUSE to eat her crap, and I do mean CRAP!

(Shinobu pouts, Drew laughs)

Ryan: (puts hands on Naru's shoulder) Are we trying to act like a certain temperamental Hollywood director we all know?

Naru: You know it…

DING!

Naru: What th—oh yeah… I used to work with that director…

DING!

Naru: I'm auditioning to take his place…

DING!

Naru: (sighs) We're sleeping together… I find his baldness very sexaaaay! (Everyone laughs)

(With this, Colin leans his face around Ryan's side into view, pulls his right hand out, gives a big smile and thumbs up, then returns to his original position. Clive tries to stand up to do the same as Colin, but Drew pulls him back down and murmurs something along the lines of 'she meant bald and with a neck')

Ryan: (Laughing) Oh…

Motoko: (laughing) That's a pretty good impression there if I do say so myself, but I happen to enjoy Shinobu's cooking…

Naru: What kind of a friend are you? (Acting like she is going to get hostile with Motoko)

Ryan: (Puts hands on their chins) Ladies STOP! Please don't fight. Must you let something as silly as this come between your friendships?

DING!

Ryan: (Hands still on their chins) OH, BOY! A Catfight! (Waves hands in air) Woo hoo!

DING!

Ryan: (Hands on hips) Now, now, children… (Shakes finger at girls)

Naru: You're right. I'm sorry, Motoko.

Motoko: And I am sorry too. I know how you must feel right now with the situation with Shinobu and Keitaro… Why don't we put that aside right now, and enjoy this meal that Ryan has so graciously cooked for us…

Ryan: (puts hands on hips) Yes, but first, how about a little Champagne for my two sweethearts… (Reaches on opposite side of table from bottle) The champagne, the champagne… (quickly turns himself so that Colin realizes that the bottle is on the other side of the table, grabs the champagne, starts to uncork it) I'll just point that away from my head, and… (POP…)

Motoko: Oh, my. That looks good; I'll have a full glass please…

Naru: I'll just have half a glass, please…

Ryan: Ok, I'll just pour in these two glasses here… (pours too much too quick and spills more than what goes in the glasses) Some for you, (With free hand, hands a glass to Motoko) and some for you… (with the same free hand, hands other glass to Naru)

Naru: Hey, I said half a glass!

Ryan: And a little for me… (Takes bottle towards mouth, giggles) Okay…

Girls: Cheers! (Colin lowers bottle before Ryan can sip it, and toasts the girls and resumes bringing the bottle to Ryan's mouth, aims right, and Ryan sips)

Ryan: (sips, drinks, lowers bottle) Mmmm.

(Naru and Motoko sip their Champagne)

Ryan: Wow, hey, that's real champagne… (Colin brings bottle beside Ryan's head, Ryan moves his head out of the way, Colin takes a drink from the bottle)

Motoko: It sure is…

(Drew, Clive, and everyone else laugh)

Naru: Hey, what was that?

Motoko: See, he served me champagne before you, so he likes me more than you…

Naru: I don't think so; he was saving the best for last…

Ryan: Ok (Sets bottle down) Now for a dinner that was cooked by a real man… (Reaches down and grabs his crotch in a macho kind of way, then puts hands on hips)

Brad: New Grab!

Ryan: (Scratches his ass)

Naru/Motoko: EEEW!

(Drew/Clive Laugh)

Brad: New Grab!

Ryan: (Picks his nose)

Naru: Nasty…

Motoko: Gross…

Brad: New Grab!

Ryan: (tweaks his nipples, closes his eyes like he is enjoying it, everyone laughs) Alright! I have made a nice combination of western style foods with some traditional Japanese foods as well… Why don't we start with some appetizers? (Reaches down to table, grabs some Celery) We have some western style appetizers—carrots, and celery, which I will dip in the ranch first, (Reaches down and dips the celery in the ranch) and we also have peanut butter here (Points at the peanut butter) if you want that, but first, watch this… I'm a walrus… (puts both pieces of celery in his mouth like tusks, claps hands together, makes walrus grunting noises)

Motoko: Must you play with your food? You know I hate that…

Naru: Yes, really... You are a grown up… Let's just move on to the main dish…

Ryan: (spits out celery sticks) Ok, now for the main course…

Girls: EEEW….

Ryan: But first, the chopsticks, (searches table for chopsticks frantically) the chopsticks, the chopsticks, right… here! (picks up the chopsticks, breaks them apart, holds them, the girls take their sticks. Ryan then grabs a large entrée platter with fried rice and Chicken Teriyaki and serves the girls)

Motoko: Is this fried rice?

Naru: It looks like fried rice and chicken teriyaki…

(Naru and Motoko take their plates with the fried rice and Chicken on them, Ryan sets platter down in front of him)

Ryan: Precisely! (Waves hands around while speaking) I gotta have a nice tasty sauce on my chicken (he is insinuating the soy sauce, but Colin instead grabs a can of spray whipped cream, Ryan chuckles) and when I want a tasty sauce, I always go for sweet, and grab the whipped cream… (Starts spraying the stuff on his chicken)

Naru: Wow, I've never tried that before. Is it pretty good?

Motoko: It doesn't sound appetizing…

Ryan: (Stops spraying more than enough whipped cream on his chicken) I just love to eat this straight from the can, (starts bringing can towards mouth) but I must remember to turn the can upside down this time so I don't get a mouthful of air… (flips can upside-down and sprays inside his mouth)

Naru: Ewww. That is so gross…

Motoko: Seriously Ryan…

Ryan: (Sets can down, swallows whipped cream) Alright, let's eat…

Naru: Yes, let's…

Ryan: (Tries to use chopsticks, makes faces because he can't pick up food with the sticks) I wish I had a fork! ( Still struggling with chopsticks) I have confession. (The girls look at him kind of grinning) I never learned to use chopsticks. What is wrong with you people? (Shakes fists at the girls) Why can't you use silverware like Americans? (Girls laugh) I'll just eat with my hands instead… (Drops sticks, picks up chicken, stuffs it into his mouth making a mess, and getting a small part of the food in his mouth, then reaches down and picks up some fried rice, stuffs that in his mouth, Naru and Motoko start to laugh)

Motoko: (Chuckling) Oh! (Laughing harder) I love it when you eat like that… It's so sexy…

Naru: (Laughing) Oh, yes! (Laughs more) It is turning me on…

(Everyone laughs)

Ryan: (smiling, trying to chew food, Colin holds hand open under Ryan's mouth, Ryan spits food into Colin's hand which drops it on table/floor) Champagne! Champagne! (Finds champagne after knocking over whipped cream can and a flower vase, and scattering what's left of appetizers. He then picks up bottle, tries to drink it, but is trying to drink from the bottle sideways, Naru sets up vase)

Naru: Look what you did, you clumsy idiot... At least you didn't accidentally grab my breasts like my last boyfriend.

Ryan: (Finally gets gulp out of bottle, then sets it down, and sighs)

Motoko: Yes, he was very clumsy around the both of us…

(Just then, in the background, Keitaro whispers something to Wayne, they both walk over, and Keitaro uses Wayne's arms)

Keitaro: (Waving arms around in the air, points at Naru and Motoko) Hey, did I just hear you two talking about me? (Puts hands on hips)

Naru: What are you doing here?

Motoko: And I must say that your arms are quite tanned…

Keitaro: (Laughs) Well, I have been working out a lot lately, (laughs more) and you know how I only tan on my arms… (Everyone laughs)

Ryan: (Laughing) Okay… (Waves his hands) I invited him here to hang out…

Motoko: What! Why?

Keitaro: Well, actually, Ryan and I have something we would like to tell you two… But first, that chicken looks mighty good, Ryan. (Points at Ryan's chicken) May I have some?

Ryan: You sure may…

Keitaro: Yes, but please give me the piece without the whipped cream on it… (Decides to grab it on his own) Oh, wait, I'll just get it myself… I want some sauce on it too… (Dips it in the peanut butter) There we go, nothing like chicken with peanut butter on it…

Naru: EEEW! Why do you want peanut butter on Chicken?

(Keitaro stuffs it in his mouth starts chewing it, and violently gags it out)

Girls: EEEW!

Ryan: (Giggling) You OK?

Keitaro: (Gags again, everyone laughs)

Motoko: Don't vomit over the table. That's uncivilized, for crying out loud!

(Drew Laughs)

DING!

Motoko: Don't vomit all over the table! We have enough food on it as is!

(Drew/Clive laugh)

DING!

Motoko: Don't vomit all over the table! We don't have a dog to come over here and lick it up…

(Everyone laughs)

Keitaro: Quick, give me the champagne! (Points at the bottle)

Ryan: Right away… (Picks up bottle, hands it very carefully to Keitaro, who almost drops it)

Keitaro: Thanks… (Brings bottle to face, takes several gulps, makes a face) Much better… That was disgusting!

Naru: So why did you eat chicken with peanut butter on it, then?

Keitaro: Ummmm, (Scratches his head with free hand, still holding bottle) I dunno…

Naru: (Sighs) So now that that's over with, what were you gonna tell us?

Motoko: Yeah, what is so important?

Keitaro: (Still holding bottle, points in the air) Well, like I said, we have news for you... Right, Ryan?

Ryan: That's right. Keitaro and I are… In love… (reaches and grabs Keitaro's chin, caresses his face with the other hand) Aren't we, my dear…? (Keitaro puts bottle down, does same to Ryan's face)

(The girls drop their chopsticks on their plates)

Naru: Well, that just ruins dinner…

Motoko: I agree… I'm done... I lost my appetite.

Ryan: Well, we can't just waste dessert… Would you like some, Keitaro?

Keitaro: Sure… (Ryan reaches down, gets some cake, smashes it into Keitaro's mouth and face) Here, have some yourself… (Keitaro reaches down, and picks up some cake and mashes it into Ryan's mouth and face)

(Colin holds hand under Ryan's mouth Ryan spits out excess cake, Colin drops it)

Ryan: Now, come here and kiss me… (Extends hand out and caresses Keitaro's cheek)

Keitaro: I don't know… (Wayne pushes Keitaro inch over to Ryan) Alright! (Wayne's hand caresses Ryan's cheek and Ryan and Keitaro come in for a quick kiss on the lips. Motoko and Naru look at the two with a look of shock on their faces)

Ryan: Champagne, Champagne! (Colin with his free hand grabs the Champagne bottle and brings it to Ryan's mouth, and Ryan takes a large gulp.)

BUZZZ BUZZ BUZZZ!

Drew: (laughing) Ok, that's enough!

(Ryan/Colin and Keitaro/Wayne separate, Wayne and Colin wipe their hands off, Ryan and Keitaro wipe their faces off)

Naru: Oh, my god, they actually kissed…

Ryan: Yes, but was the tongue necessary?

Girls: EEEW!

Drew: (Laughing) Oh man, just when you thought 'Queer Eye' was the gayest show around, along comes 'Whose Line is it Anyway'… Boy, am I gonna have trouble sleeping tonight… I'll give 10 thousand points to Ryan and Keitaro for kissing, and 5 thousand points to Ryan's wife, and Naru, Keitaro's girlfriend for sympathy purposes…

Clive: I'd give points, but I used all the rest of my points to buy 'Songs of Hinata-sou' because Tama said it was so good…

Tama: Myuh!

Drew: Let's go on to a game called 'Film Dub.' In this game, Ryan, Colin, and Keitaro are going to watch a film clip where we have turned down the sound, and they are gonna supply all the words and the dialect. Now, the clip we picked out is a scene from Love Hina: Episode 12, starting at 2:14 on the clock, where Naru has just inquired about Shinobu's new miso soup, and where we pick up is where Shinobu is starting to tell everyone about her new soup. The scene is: in the kitchen before disaster strikes… Take it away guys…

(A/N: Whoever is voicing over a certain character will have that character's name beside them in parenthesis. Example: Ryan speaking over Shinobu would show like:

Ryan (Shinobu): Dialect………)

-Scene Starts-

(Shinobu is pictured in the kitchen)

Ryan (Shinobu) Hey guys look what I made today… (Shinobu holds up a jar with brownish stuff on the brim) Why, its honey mixed with hot-tar…

(Suu and Kitsune are pictured eating)

Colin (Suu): (Eating) Wow, this is great roasted dog-vomit!

Ryan: (Laughing) Wha..?

(Drew, Wayne and Ryan laugh, Keitaro tries to hold it in, the girls in background scream, 'EEEW')

Keitaro (Kitsune): Mmmhmm. Nothing beats your roasted dog-vomit…

(Scene shows dinner table, Suu and Kitsune on left, Naru and Keitaro on right, Shinobu behind in the kitchen)

Ryan (Shinobu): Thanks, (giggling)…

(Shinobu walks to left, jumps back)

Ryan (Shinobu): (Screams)

(Scene turns around to kitchen view of Shinobu scared, and Keitaro rushes in, before Keitaro can voice himself, Colin jumps in)

Colin (Keitaro): (yelling) I HATE YOUR ROASTED DOG-VOMIT!

Ryan (Shinobu): (freaking out, pointing) Oh, no, I just spilled the honey mixed with hot tar… (scene shifts, shows a large cockroach on the floor) Oh, we can cook that instead!

(Keitaro jumps in fright, Shinobu looks scared, others are pictured in background looking in)

Colin (Keitaro): (Screams) No, I want my honey with hot-tar, and I'm gonna throw a tantrum! (Says this as he is running off and starts climbing the wall, as if he were the roach) See, I'm throwing a tantrum! I'm throwing a tantrum! I want my Honey with hot tar!

Ryan (Shinobu): Quick, I don't wanna touch it, you get it!

(Keitaro pops up from corner of screen)

Colin (Keitaro): No, wait! (Keitaro stands in front of roach with can pointed at it) We can add this roach to the honey with hot-tar. I'll squirt it with this napalm and we can set it on fire!

(Scene shifts, Keitaro is holding can pointed at camera, breathing heavily)

Ryan (Shinobu): (not pictured) Quick, blow on it to get the fire going!

Colin (Keitaro): (Making blowing noises)

(Suddenly, roach flies into Keitaro's face, Keitaro falls back)

Colin (Keitaro): AAAAH! IT BURNS, IT BURNS!

(Motoko jumps up as Keitaro falls to floor with roach on his face and Motoko draws sword)

Keitaro (Motoko): DAMMIT! You put peanut butter on my chicken and it made me vomit all over the table! (Shouting) You will die now!

(Motoko Strikes, Keitaro goes flying into cutting table, falls onto floor upside down next to roach)

Colin (Keitaro): AAAAOOOOOWWWWWW! I knew I shouldn't have come to this place today…

(Scene stops at 2:52)

BUZZZZZZZZ!

Drew: Mmm. Mmm! Just what I always wanted, roasted dog-vomit!

(Everyone laughs)

Wayne: (Laughing) Right, and the vomiting on the table…

Colin: Hey, Suu'll eat anything, so I was just going along with that…

Drew: You guys are just sick. I'm not giving any points for that…

(Everybody laughs)

Naru: Wow that was utterly disgusting…

(Suu looks up)

Wayne: Oh no, here it comes!

Suu: Is roasted dog vomit yummy?

(Everyone laughs at the irony of Suu's question)

Colin: See what I mean?

Shinobu: Suu! Did you not just hear how they said it was disgusting?

Suu: Well, you guys think the spicy food from my home country is disgusting too.

Kitsune: Suu, that's different…

Suu: You still haven't answered my question…

Naru: I give up…

Wayne: (Laughing) Suu's hopeless…

DING!

Wayne: Suu's Suu.

DING!

Wayne: Suu must be related to Garfield…

Motoko: Suu, do you think any kind of vomit would be tasty?

Suu: (sighs in defeat) I guess not. What about Honey with hot tar? Is that yummy?

Girls: SUU!

Drew: Suu, anything that Colin or Ryan make up for food is probably disgusting, unless you have personally tried it…

Suu: Oh, I see now… (Naru sighs)

(Everyone laughs)

Ryan: That's almost as bad as the time Colin used cannibalism as an example of things that would ruin a dinner…

DING!

Ryan: That's almost as bad as the time we ate the neighbor's annoying dog, because he wouldn't shut up at 3:30 in the morning…

Girls: EEEW!

DING!

Ryan: That's almost as bad as the one time in _Spaceballs_ when the mafia man ate a piece of Pizza the Hutt.

(Everyone laughs)

Drew: Hey that was great! We're gonna break for a commercial, and when we return, more fun on 'Whose Line is it Anyway!' Don't go anywhere!


	10. Segment 10

Disclaimer: All characters/registered names are not mine, and owned by their respective owners, and are used for entertainment purposes...

(parentheses) indicates actions

**Bold underline** indicates a caption on the TV screen

Special Thanks to my buddies **NewLyfe06 & LB** for editing/proofreading for me, as well as **The Unknown Alias** for a great idea for the last game…

**I have made fanart for this story. The Link is on my FF net author-bio page…**

Also, bust out LH episode 16 for a game in this segment…

* * *

Drew: Welcome back to Whose Line is it Anyway: Love Hina Edition, where the show's made up and the points don't matter. The points are just like straight teeth to David Letterman… (Everyone laughs) The next ga—(Gets interrupted by Clive) 

Clive: Hey Drew, isn't there a certain fanfic you want to give props to this round?

Drew: You know what, you are right, and what not a better choice to announce this round than the one we ACTUALLY starred in alongside the cast of the Kingdom Hearts series. The author, **Wagner's Apprentice**, gave us a fun time in 'Kingdom Hearts: Whose Line is it Anyway?'

Ryan: Except me! I had to kiss Sora not once but twice!

Drew: Yes, but you got a nice wet one afterwards from Kairi too if I remember right…

Ryan: Shh! Hey, hey, hey! My wife still doesn't know about that!

(Everyone laughs)

Colin: Hey, I wanted to kiss Kairi… I feel left out…

Drew: Well, it's too late for that now…

DING!

Drew: You snooze, you lose!

Clive: Wow, you guys had some fun in that one… I miss out since I'm the former host!

(Everyone laughs)

Drew: Alright, this next game is really exciting, and it's a special version of 'Film, TV, and Theater Styles.' Also, some of the Love Hina cast is not present right now. Keitaro, Seta, Kitsune, Motoko, and Naru are waiting outside the studio, and are going to re-enact a scene from Love Hina. What makes this game special is that shortly after the beginning of the scene, Ryan, Colin, and Wayne are going to enter as extra characters, and the twist is, Keitaro and the girls do not know about this, or for that matter, what Ryan, Colin and Wayne are going to be and we'll call them into the studio in a second. Now, Colin, Ryan, and Wayne—your scene is, you are here to help Keitaro's character and you guys will find out about that in a second. Now, Colin will start as Braveheart; Ryan will start as Count Dracula; and Wayne is Zorro.

Clive: This sure will be interesting…

Drew: Alright! Well, first, bring in Keitaro and the gang. (Keitaro, Seta and the girls enter) Alright, guys, we are playing a game called 'Film, TV and Theater styles,' wherein, you will act a scene, and I will buzz to interrupt the scene, and you will have to act out the different suggestions I will give of different film, TV and theater styles to change the scene. Now, you guys are gonna love this! I personally picked out a part from Love Hina episode 16 where Keitaro is Son Goku, Motoko is Sagojo the Kappa, and they are fighting to save Naru—Master Sanzo, from Kitsune, who is the evil monster Koushu, and Seta is the Evil Bullsatan. You can use the same lines you had if you remember them.

Clive: OK, guys, whenever you are ready, take it away.

Motoko: Oh no, Master Sanzo has been kidnapped by the evil Bullsatan. Please help us, Goku! (Keitaro rushes in)

Keitaro: Here I am!

DING!

Keitaro: It is I, _Dark Helmet!_

Motoko: What are you talking about! You are Son Goku, and you are here to save Master Sanzo…

Seta: Master Sanzo is over here. (Naru is seen on floor by Seta in back of stage) I never expected you to make it this far, Goku.

Kitsune: To us monsters, eating the flesh of a high ranking official such as Sanzo, will grant us all eternal life.

Seta: So we fully intend to feast upon Master Sanzo… AHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAAA! (Evil laugh)

Keitaro: Not if I can help it…

Sarah: (from side) Shut up you idiot! (Throws a pot and knocks Keitaro out)

Motoko: I will fight you, Bullsatan!

(Motoko and Seta act as if they are fighting, and Motoko loses)

Seta: Only Goku can defeat me! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAA! (Evil laugh)

Keitaro: (Staggers up) I don't know…

Kitsune: (Holds up Naru like a prize) Alright, then you two will fight for Naru, I mean Master Sanzo…

Naru: Wha..?

(All of a sudden a voice rings out)

Colin: (In a Scottish Voice) NOT SO FAST BULLSATAN! Och-eye… (Walks on stage, Ryan flaps his wings in and Wayne follows on horseback)

Naru: What the…!

Ryan: (POOF!) Goood Evening!

Seta: Just who are you guys supposed to be?

Colin: I am Braveheart… Och-eye!

Ryan: I am…Count Dracula!

Wayne: (drawing sword) I am el Zorro! We're a-here to es-stop-a you! (acts like he is slicing a 'Z' on Seta)

Ryan: (Laughing, turns to Wayne) Are you from Italy or Mexico? (Wayne laughs)

Wayne: You know, I'm a-not a-sure… (Keitaro now laughs too)

Naru: What is going on here?

Motoko: Why are you three guys here?

Colin: We're here to help Goku save Master Sanzo… Och eye…

DING!

Colin: We're here to play the bagpipes!

DING!

Colin: We're here to dance around in really tight panties…

Motoko: EEEEEWWW! (Looks at Drew) Drew, was this one of your silly ideas! (Drew shrugs) Oh, geez….

Wayne: (to Keitaro) What should-a we do now?

Naru: Ummm, guys… Damsel in distress here…

Keitaro: Oh yeah, I guess we should go save Naru, I mean Master Sanzo now…

DING!

Keitaro: Umm, guys, anyone up for a game of poker? (acts like he's shuffling a deck of cards)

DING!

Keitaro: Hey, I got it! Forget the tight panties, let's do the chicken dance right here, BUTT NAKED! (Starts dancing)

Colin: Och-eye… I wasn't going to wear any anyway… (Begins to lift up his kilt, starts dancing, Motoko gets grossed out, Colin drops his kilt, everyone except Motoko and Naru laughs.)

Naru: EEEEWWW! DAMMIT KEITARO, QUIT FOOLING AROUND! (Reaches her hand out and bonks Keitaro on the head.)

Seta: I'll have Master Sanzo yet! (Ryan hisses at this remark)

Colin: YOU CAN TAKE MY COUNTRY, BUT YOU'LL NEVER TAKE MASTER SANZO! (Turns around, acts like he is lifting up his kilt and moons Seta.)

Naru: (sighs, disgusted at Colin) On second thought, after seeing that, I'd much rather be devoured…

Ryan: I will destroy you yet, Bullsatan, and I will make that girl (points at Kitsune) my bride, as well as dine on her blood!

Kitsune: You want…me?

Wayne: I will a-slay you yet, el Bullsatan de chupacabras!

Ryan: (To Wayne) See, I knew you were Italian…

Naru: Oh, save me, Son Goku!

DING!

Naru: Oh, please, someone save me from this craziness!

DING!

Naru: Oh, Save me from the dreaded Braveheart's hairy ass! (Drew Laughs)

BUZZ!

Drew: Soap Opera!

Colin: Of course you know, you'll have to leave Shady Acres now, Bullsatan…

Naru: Before he goes, you all must know I'm carrying someone's baby.

Motoko: Of course someone's got to, and at least it's not me…

Keitaro: You mean you don't know who the father is?

Seta: What if it's my baby?

DING!

Seta: What if it's not human?

DING!

Seta: I was wondering why Bill Clinton was hanging around here so much…

Drew: Oooooh….

Naru: It's yours! (Points at Keitaro)

Colin: Och-eye…

Keitaro: Mine!

Ryan: (Still in Dracula's voice, towards Kitsune) You are getting sleeeepy…

DING!

Ryan: You are getting thiiiirsty…

DING!

Ryan: You are getting hooooorny…..

Kitsune: Wouldn't be the first time.

DING!

Kitsune: (Looks at Keitaro) He came onto me first!

(A/N: Think LH Episode 1 when she gets Keitaro to grab her chest)

DING!

Kitsune: Ok, ok, it was me, not him…

(Ryan smiles, grabs Kitsune, leans her back, acts like he's biting her neck)

BUZZ! (Ryan is stuck in the neck biting position)

Kitsune: I'm enjoyin' this, Drew!

Drew: (Laughing) I noticed… Alright… Where was I?

Ryan: C'mon, Drew!

Drew: (Laughing) Film Noir!

(Ryan Releases Kitsune, Colin steps forward)

Colin: Yeah I knew it was Keitaro's baby… How the hell could it be mine? I mean after all, I just came into the scene. (Steps back to everyone else)

Kitsune: (to Ryan) Wow, all of a sudden, I am physically attracted to you…

(Ryan steps forward)

Ryan: Yeah, I know what you're thinking, he's got the girl. All's I have to say is, why the hell am I even here? (Makes a face, shaking his head 'no,' and mouthing the word 'why' and steps back into the scene, lays a kiss on Kitsune)

Seta: (to Keitaro) I will feast upon Master Sanzo!

(Keitaro steps forward)

Keitaro: How was I going to defeat the evil Bullsatan? All of a sudden, I had an idea that was quite unexpected… (Steps back in, faces Seta) Oh for the love of… (acts like he is pulling a pistol, and shoots Seta)

Seta: What the..?

BUZZ!

Drew: 'The Real World'

Seta: Dude, I've been shot!

Keitaro: If you would pick your clothes up off the floor, I wouldn't have shot you!

DING!

Keitaro: (sighs) If you would clean up your filthy, dirty dishes, I wouldn't have to shoot you!

DING!

Keitaro: If you'd learn to flush the toilet after you pooed and not clog it, I wouldn't be shooting you…

Seta: (laughing) Wha…!

Motoko: Keitaro always does this!

Wayne: All he wants to do is shoot people!

Colin: WOO HOO! (Bends over and acts as if he's mooning everyone)

Naru: What the…?

Wayne: Party on, dude! (acts like he crushes a beer can on his forehead) WOOOOOO! (Chases after Colin)

Seta: Wow, that's whiter than some ghosts…

Ryan: (Acts like he is opening a door peeking his head out) Hey, can you keep it down, dudes? My girlfriend and I are trying to have some time to ourselves! (Slams door)

BUZZ!

Drew: Ninja Turtles!

Keitaro: Dude, that pizza delivery boy just mooned us…

Seta: (To Keitaro) HAHAHA! Your measly squirt-gun won't do anything but rust the evil Shredder's armor prematurely!

Keitaro: (To Wayne) Quick, Master Splinter! Keep Shredder occupied and we'll free April!

Wayne: Why do I gotta be master Splinter?

(Keitaro just looks at Wayne and shakes his head 'no')

Motoko: I see Splinter is a little out of character today…

Colin: (To Ryan) C'mon Raphael, let's free April!

(All of a sudden, Wayne and Seta look as if they're playing cards)

Wayne: Hit me…

Seta: Ok, you asked for it… (Acts like he is holding a baseball bat, starts swinging at Wayne)

Wayne: What the…!

(Ryan opens his 'door')

Ryan: Hey, what did I just say about not bothering me and my girlfriend!

BUZZ!

Drew: Spaceballs!

Keitaro: (To Seta) I see you have acquired the _Schwartz _also, Lone Star… You still cannot defeat me, the all powerful Dark Helmet!

Motoko: Wait a minute… I thought Dark Helmet was evil!

Keitaro: Shut up, Dot Matrix! I will rescue Princess Naru from the evil clutches of Lone Star, and then I will destroy him!

Seta: I will keep Naru for myself!

Keitaro: (To Colin) Colonel Sanders!

Colin: Yessir!

Keitaro: Prepare for rescuing Naru!

Colin: Yes sir! And don't worry sir, I didn't see you playing with your dolls again!

(Colin goes over to Naru, grabs her)

Keitaro: Good! (Looks at Wayne) Barf!

Wayne: Yes?

Keitaro: Prepare to help me defeat of Lone Star!

Motoko: AAAARRGH! You have the characters all mixed up, you idiot!

Keitaro: DAMMIT! Dot Matrix, shut up before I put you in the incinerator just like R2-D2, C-3PO, Carrot-Top and Paulie Shore!

BUZZ!

Drew: Xena!

Naru: Thanks for freeing me, Colin… I'm forever yours….

Colin: Yesssss! Och-eye…

Keitaro: (To Wayne) Quick, we must defeat the evil Bullsatan!

Wayne: (Goes to Seta, does a flying Xena kick) TEEEEELALALALALALAALALALALALA!

Motoko: Oh, for the love of… THAT'S NOT A WARRIOR PRINCESS! THIS IS! ROCK SPLITTING SWORD! (Launches a ki attack at Seta, sends him flying)

Wayne: Wow, Gabrielle, when did you learn to use a sword? (Motoko sighs)

Keitaro: That's over, but Colin got the girl. What's up with that? Who do I get?

Naru: I told you earlier that I'm sleeping with him! I find his baldness sexaaaaay!

Keitaro: Hmmmm… (Thinks for a second, then looks towards Seta's general flight path) WAIT FOR ME BULLSATAN!

(Ryan then opens his door)

Ryan: Oh, for the love of… Dammit, I'm tired of you guys not listening to me… I asked nicely for each of you to keep it down, but no! (Pulls out a shotgun, shoots Wayne, Keitaro, Naru and Motoko, they all look at Ryan dumbfoundedly) Finally, now some peace and quiet!

BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ!

Drew: Damn, Ryan… Somebody has a bad temper!

Ryan: It's like disgruntled postal worker, but instead, it's disgruntled boyfriend…

Drew: OK! 1000 points to everyone and an extra 5000 points to Colin, for showing everyone his ass!

Clive: And an extra 1000 points to Sarah for throwing that flowerpot at Keitaro as well as 1000 points to Naru for reaching across stage and beating Keitaro!

Keitaro: I didn't especially like those parts!

Colin: (In a Sarah voice) Well, you're just a big dork! (Everyone laughs)

Motoko: That scene was just ridiculous. Dark Helmet as a good guy and Wayne as a warrior princess? Geez… What were you guys thinking?

Keitaro: I happen to like Dark Helmet! He was a funny character, and thought it would be neat seeing Lone Star as a bad guy.

Drew: Hey Wayne… I didn't know Zorro was Italian…

Wayne: Oh, c'mon now Drew. You know that he's the reason why you eat so much pizza… (everyone but Drew laughs)

Drew: (pouts) Alright! On to our next game, which is called 'Press Conference' and it's for Kitsune, Naru, Mutsumi, and our good friend, Ryan Stiles. Of course, who could forget the best press conference holder, Colin Mochrie! (Colin grabs the podium and sets it up, stands behind it) Now, in this game, Naru, Kitsune and Mutsumi as well as Ryan are all news reporters and they are attending a press conference held by Colin…

Wayne: For once, I don't have to be in this game!

Keitaro: And yet, you still get paid more than I do…

Drew: Shut up, Keitaro!

Naru: Wow, so we get tortured into doing this game…

Kitsune: (Sarcastically) We're so lucky!

Drew: (Laughing) I know right? Anyhow, Colin doesn't know who he is…

Naru: Great! I take it we'll have to give him hints?

Drew: Precisely! We all know who Colin is, and it's written on this card here (hands card to the girls, they open it, and laugh) and you four are going to give him hints as to who he is… Whenever you are ready, take it away!

Colin: **Shaggy announcing he's eaten Scooby-Doo. **(Everyone in audience laughs)Thank you all for coming to hear this. I apologize for it being at such short notice, but afterwards, there'll be a big swim party for all in the hot-springs… (Ryan raises hand) Yes?

Ryan: Jim Phillips, Cleveland Courier.

Colin: Yes…

Ryan: Why?

Colin: Well, of course I have to give my standard answer to that, Why not… It was a hell of a lotta fun doing it! Plus I feel like I accomplished something major in life from this… (Drew laughs, Naru raises hand) Yes?

Naru: Naru Narusegawa, Hinata press…

Colin: Go on…

Naru: What made you desire to do this?

Colin: Well, I was quite bored, and when the idea presented itself, I jumped right on it… (Kitsune raises hand) Yes?

Kitsune: Yes, um, I'm a whore…

Colin: (grins) Oh, alright…

Kitsune: That's all I wanted to say, I have no questions…

Colin: Oh, okay… Remember, party at my place afterwards…

Kitsune: Actually, Now I have a question… Do you feel any remorse whatsoever?

Colin: HMMM… No, Not really. In fact, I must say that I'm quite excited about this… In fact, I'M SPUNKY! (Mutsumi raises her hand) You there, next to the whore, (points at Mutsumi) yes?

Mutsumi: Hinata Sakura from the Tokyo Press.

Colin: Ok.

Mutsumi: Ara, Any idea as to how the other sleuths will feel about this?

Colin: Nope, and who cares? I was the one doing it, and I don't need any help from them! IT WAS ALL ME! (Ryan raises hand) Yes?

Ryan: Was he at least cooked, or was he raw?

Colin: Oh, he was uncooked, and on a side note, I saved the skin for the taxidermist…

Ryan: So, I expect when you get him back, he'll still have his collar on?

Colin: No, because I wanted to wear it! It's my turn to wear the collar! I WANT TO WEAR THE COLLAR FOR ONCE!

Ryan: On a side note, we also heard from a witness that you were quoted at saying 'Zoinks…'

Colin: Yes, well, I had a bit too much to drink whenever I did this, and when I drink, I tend to say silly things. (Naru raises her hand) Yes?

Naru: Now that he's gone, who will you team up with against those creepy ghosts?

Colin: I'm not sure, but I was thinking of getting maybe Bill Murray, since he was a Ghostbuster.

Naru: Also, since I'm filling in for Suu, did he taste good?

Colin: He tasted like chicken mixed with several key ingredients…

DING!

Colin: He tasted like when you mix yaks' tongues, old spray paint, used welding rods, aluminum siding, old tires and rusty license plates together with a hint of lacquer thinner for extra flavor… (Everyone laughs)

DING!

Colin: He tasted like the damned neighbor's annoying dog that wouldn't shut up at 3AM… (Everyone laughs) I think I said too much… (Mutsumi raises hand) Yes?

Mutsumi: Ara, Now, I know how you both have such enormous appetites, and I was wondering if this happened because he was always tricking you into looking away so he could eat your food after he quickly finished his…

Colin: That is absolutely correct! I am sick and TIRED of him eating my food by tricking me! (Points at Kitsune) I DON'T FEEL ANY REMORSE! (Kitsune raises hand) Yes?

Kitsune: So I guess that means you'll have the back half of the van to yourself now?

Colin: No, not quite. I've had this thing for Velma for a while, so I am trying to get her to come back there with me! You know what they say, when this van's a-rockin, don't come a-knockin…

BUZZZZZ!

Drew: You obviously got this one… Who are you?

Colin: I would say that I'm Shaggy…

Drew: And?

Colin: (sighs) I ate Scooby Doo, didn't I…?

Drew: Yes!

BUZZ!

Clive: Certainly an unusual topic to report about…

Colin: I'll say… (Giggles) Heh, I mentioned the bit earlier of him tasting like the neighbor's dog… (Everyone laughs)

Ryan: (Laughing) Yeah, you sure did…

Colin: And I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for those meddling kids!

(Everyone laughs)

Wayne: I liked the bit about the yaks' tongues…

Suu: Is yaks' tongues with all that stuff mixed together yummy?

Girls: NO!

Clive: Alright. On to our next game, which is called 'Living Scenery' and it is for Naru and Motoko!

Naru: Just us?

Motoko: Wow! We get a game all to ourselves without that pervert!

Naru: Wait a minute! This sounds too good to be true…

Drew: Well, once again, interrupted by the dynamic duo! There's more... In this game you will act out a scene, but since we don't have any props to work with, Keitaro, Ryan and Colin will be the props for you!

Naru: Dammit! I knew it was too good to be true…

Motoko: Geez, we get to have not one, but three of the biggest perverts in this room as our props…

DING!

Motoko: I said it before and I'll say it again! Why do we have to have the three most perverted MEN as our props?

Drew: Because it's funny!

DING!

Drew: So we can get more reviews from our devoted viewers/readers!

DING!

Drew: Because it will give us good ratings!

DING!

Drew: Because I am a sick twisted evil bastard.

Motoko: Well you got the 'bastard' part right, but I was gonna add the word 'fat' before it…

Drew: Minus 50 points for Motoko.

Clive: (Interrupting Drew) Ok, moving right along!

Ryan: Wow, what a switch, usually me and Colin are the actors in this, and now we are the props… Wow!

Colin: (Gets an evil grin on his face) You know, we could be as bad as Richard Simmons was in that one episode! (Ryan, Wayne, Drew and Clive laugh while the Love Hina cast just looks at the guys funny)

Keitaro: What do you mean?

Drew: You never saw that episode?

Keitaro: Nope. None of us saw that here at Hinata-Sou. Care to fill me in? (Ryan proceeds to whisper the details in Keitaro's ear while Keitaro snickers. The three guys get evil grins on their faces and look at Naru and Motoko) Oh, by the way, Wayne, sorry about what you had to go through on that…

Wayne: It's ok, brotha'… It was acting...

Drew: (looks at his card and starts laughing) Oh, man!

Naru: Oh no, looks like our situation just got worse…

Motoko: Let's hear it, Drew…

Drew: (Still laughing) Oh, my god! I shoulda read the card before-hand. This is great. (Laughs so hard that he can't finish reading the card)

Ryan: Let me see this! (Takes the card from Drew, starts reading it) It says here that Naru and Motoko are two female lifeguards from 'Baywatch' (starts giggling) and they spot a swimmer drowning and go to rescue him. (Colin and Keitaro start laughing) Alright, this should be interesting…

Clive: (Laughs) And you three guys have to be the props for the girls…

Drew: (still laughing) Here we go… Take it away, Naru and Motoko…

Naru: I guess we should put some sunscreen on…

Motoko: We'd better rinse the salt water off first…

Naru: Ok… (Walks up to Colin, twists his nipple area as if they are faucet knobs, Colin acts like he is a shower, making the appropriate noises, and 'sprinkling' his fingers all over Naru's upper body, when he gets a little close to her chest, she mumbles a 'Watch it, bub!' to Colin) Ahhh, that feels good…

Motoko: (Does the same to Ryan, but Ryan only drips) Hmmm, this one's broken. Let me use yours…

Naru: OK, come here then… I'm done with this one anyways. Just aim it high… (Motoko steps under Colin's hands, Colin does the same to Motoko, this time higher than her chest, in fear of her sword.)

Motoko: Naru, you have to remember that the faucet knobs on this shower are really hard to turn, so you gotta put some muscle into them… (Motoko then grabs Colin's nipples and twists them very hard, and Colin squeals just like a little girl, and winces at the sheer pain Motoko is putting him through… Drew laughs. She then whispers to Colin) That's what you get for being a pervert…

Naru: OK… Time to dry off… (The guys smile, Colin sits back rubbing his chest, still wincing in pain, Naru grabs Keitaro, and Motoko grabs Ryan, and they use them as towels, and proceed to wipe ALMOST their entire bodies off with the guys' hands since they can't pick them up… Motoko, more-so than Naru, is kind of cringing at the fact that there are perverted guys acting as their towels…)

Motoko: Alright… (They set the guys down, and the guys smile and give thumbs up signs) I'll grab the sunscreen, and put some on you… (Squeezes Colin as if he's the sunscreen bottle, holds her hand under his mouth)

Colin: Bloop, bloop, bloop!

Motoko: Aah, there we are… I see it's the 'Bloop' brand sunscreen.

Naru: I guess so…

Motoko: Come here, Naru… I'll get your back… (Motoko starts rubbing sunscreen on Naru's back) Get me real quick…

Naru: Ok… (Goes over to Colin, pumps sunscreen out of him)

Colin: Bloop, bloop bloop!

Naru: You're right. This is the 'Bloop' brand…

Motoko: See?

(Naru proceeds to rub sunscreen all over Motoko's back)

Naru: There, that's better…

Motoko: Think we should go patrol the waters on the jet-skis?

(Colin and Keitaro get into position, laying on their backs, just like the Richard Simmons ep. Drew mutters an 'uh-oh' and grins)

Motoko: I got the one with the shiny top… (Goes over to Colin, Drew laughs)

(A/N – If you didn't get that, she was making fun of Colin's baldness, _yet_ again)

Naru: That's quite fine with me, because that's the really, REALLY old model that's outdated. Besides, no one likes the Canadian model anyhow… They're too ugly… (Drew laughs harder, Clive starts laughing, Colin gives a dirty look to Naru) Mine, on the other hand, is the newer, 'in-style' model… (She grabs Keitaro's hands, squats over his pelvic region, while Motoko does the same with Colin. They both take off, and as Naru does she starts bouncing up and down as if she is going over rough waves, while Motoko tries to mimic, and realizes how bad this looks. Naru doesn't realize how perverted this actually looks, and everyone starts laughing.)

Motoko: (Giggling) Wow! The water is quite choppy today…

Naru: You got that right! (Keitaro and Colin are now smiling and bright red in the face. Ryan laughs, and Drew, Wayne and Clive are all falling out of their chairs laughing, and almost in tears…)

Naru: Ok, we're here…

(Naru stops, along with Motoko, and they get off of the guys, and the guys stand up. Naru quickly realizes why everyone is laughing as well as Colin and Keitaro's blushing, and both her and Motoko blush, while Colin acts like he lights up a cigarette and smokes it, passes it to Keitaro who does the same…)

Naru: Remind me _never_ to use the jet-skis ever again when the water is rough like that.

Motoko: (giggles) Hey! It was _your_ idea! (Looks and points) Hey! Is that a swimmer in distress out there?

Ryan: (Stands about 5 feet in front of the stage screaming and waving his arms) HELP! (He tries to make gurgling noises while he screams HELP!)

Naru: (Looks) Oh my god! Quick, grab the rescue equipment, and we'll swim out to him.

Motoko: I got this rescue tube… (Grabs Colin)

(Naru and Motoko proceed to do the slow motion running, but don't use their hands to imitate their boobs bouncing for obvious reasons, Motoko still holding onto Colin, who is trying to keep up with their slow running movements… They then act like they are swimming out to Ryan, and catch him. Ryan has acted like he is passed out)

Motoko: Here, put this around him… (Naru grabs Colin's hands, and put them around Ryan, under his armpits)

Naru: I don't think he is breathing. We need to get him out quick! (They both drag Ryan and Colin back to the stage, and Naru grabs Keitaro, while Motoko takes Colin off of Ryan, and lays Ryan on the floor)

Motoko: Good thinking, Naru. Put the paddles on his chest… (Naru puts Keitaro's hands on Ryan's nipple areas, Ryan smiles, trying not to laugh) CLEAR!

Keitaro: BEEP, BEEP, BEEP! (Ryan then makes the electrical charge sound and jumps as if he is being defibrillated)

Keitaro: (In an electronic voice) Patient has a heartbeat, no breathing. Perform CPR…

Naru: (pulls Keitaro's hands off Ryan) OK, we need to do CPR on this man… You do it Motoko…

Motoko: I don't wanna do it, you do it…

Naru: But I have bad breath!

DING!

Naru: But I just re-applied my lipstick!

DING!

Naru: But he's not my type!

Motoko: This man is gonna die if you don't give him mouth-to-mouth! (At this point Drew and everyone starts laughing)

Naru: Fine! We'll do 'Paper-Rock-Scissors.' Whoever wins has to do it!

Motoko: Fine… Ready?

Naru: Ok… (They get into position)

Naru/Motoko: PAPER! ROCK! SCISSORS! (Naru lands on Scissors, Motoko lands on Rock)

Naru: Damn! Ok, here goes… (A/N: yes Naru lost, but they weren't paying attention)

Motoko: Alright, go for it… (Naru lowers her face towards Ryan and starts to blush. Ryan starts to smile again… Right as their lips touch, Drew intervenes…)

BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ BUZZZZZ!

(Naru quickly pulls back and stands up while Ryan is grinning, opens his eyes and stands up)

Colin: Wow, Ryan is kissing everyone! First Sora, twice, then Kairi, and after that, all of us guys including Keitaro in this episode, and now, Kitsune and Naru…

Ryan: (laughing) I know, right? At least I haven't kissed Drew…

Drew: (Laughing) Naru, I thought I'd save you from the scene there… (Holds up his Altoid's tin) Mint, anyone?

Naru: (Walks up to Drew clenching her fists growling, but instead of sending Drew halfway across Hinata courtesy of her fists, she grabs a mint) If you weren't a popular TV

star, I'd send you into the sky…

Ryan: Gimme! (Goes up to Drew, who gets up out of his chair, walks towards Ryan, and kisses him, while Ryan looks at him funny…)

Ryan: Why? WHY? (Everyone laughs, except the girls who give various responses…) Alright, now I've kissed all the guys on this show except for Clive… Why me! (Takes a handful of mints, shoves them into his mouth, Naru looks at him wide-eyed, while Ryan gasps as the mints burn his mouth)

Clive: Wow! Now that's something you don't see every day… (Everyone laughs, except for Ryan)

Drew: Ryan, in case you forgot, those mints are curiously strong, especially when you put _all_ of them in your mouth…

Suu: May I have one, Drew?

Drew: Sure… (Gives one to Suu)

Suu: Wow, these aren't that bad, guys… They are yummy though…

Motoko: That's because you like things that are spicy and strong in taste…

Naru: I thought one was strong enough, but a handful? Wow!

Mutsumi: Ara, he's gonna have fresh breath for like 15 years now…

Wayne: (Laughing) I know, right? That's what I said the last time he did it…

Ryan: There'd better be some extra points for all of this…

Drew: Nope… We spent all the points on therapy trying to forget about you kissing us! (Ryan laughs)

Keitaro: Wow, Naru, you went all out on that one… (Naru starts blushing)

Colin: Keitaro, you were about as red as a stop sign there… (Naru gets even deeper red)

Keitaro: And you wonder why I tell you don't come into my room every now and then… (Drew and the guys all laugh)

Drew: That hole in the ceiling is quite handy, isn't it Naru…

Naru: Oh, shut up…

Drew: Alright! We'll be back to the final games of 'Whose Line is it Anyway: Love Hina Edition' in a second…

Clive: That's right, and also, a special guest when we return, so don't go anywhere…

Girls: WHAT!

* * *

How's that for a nice cliffhanger? As always, don't forget to review… 


	11. Segment 11

Disclaimer: All characters/registered names are not mine, and owned by their respective owners, and are used for entertainment purposes...

(parentheses) indicates actions

**Bold underline** indicates a caption on the TV screen

Special Thanks to my buddies **NewLyfe06 & LB** for editing/proofreading for me…

**I have made fanart for this story. The Link is on my FF net author-bio page…**

Also, bust out LH episode 16 _yet again_ for a game in this segment…

* * *

Drew: Welcome back to Whose Line is it Anyway: Love Hina Edition where the points are like a Halloween costume to Mimi Bobeck… Don't forget, the prize for the girls at the end, which happens to be a surprise visit by a special guest…

**The guest is a fake prize. The real one will be presented after the scene with the special guest.**

Drew: Now our first game is a special bonus game for all our devoted reviewers, and Clive is gonna help me with this one…

Clive: That's right, Drew. This next game is for Keitaro, Kitsune, Motoko, Naru, and Seta… They are going to come play a game with our own Colin Mochrie, called Hollywood Director!

Drew: That's right! We decided to combine this game with a scene we used earlier, because it seemed funny…

Naru: Let me guess… The scene we just did with Seta as Bullsatan?

Drew: Yes!!! Son Goku, Keitaro, with the help of Sagojo the Kappa, Motoko, are here to rescue Master Sanzo, Naru, from The evil Bullsatan, Seta, and his minion Koushu, Kitsune… We've given Colin these suggestions and he will interrupt the scene every so often and give suggestions on how to improve the scene…

Ryan: As if we didn't know all ready!!!

Drew: (Chuckles) Ok, guys, take it away!!!

Motoko: We have to find Master Sanzo, Goku!!!

Keitaro: Look, up there!!! (Points towards Naru)

Seta: Master Sanzo is up here!!! I never expected to make it this far, Goku!!!

Kitsune: To us monsters, eating the flesh of a high ranking official like Sanzo will grant us eternal life!!!

Seta: So we fully intend to feast upon Master Sanzo!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!

Motoko: I Sagojo will guard Goku with my life!!!

(Seta and Motoko sword-fight, and Motoko again loses)

Seta: Mere kappa, you are too weak to defeat me!!!

Motoko: I have failed you Goku. It's up to you now!!!

Kitsune: I'll tell you what!! Goku and Bullsatan should fight to see who gets Sanzo as their bride…

Naru: WHAT?!!

Keitaro: I'll do it!!! Let's go Bullsatan!!!

(Seta and Keitaro fight, and both knock each other out, Naru rushes to Keitaro's side)

Naru: Oh, Keitaro, I mean, Goku…

Motoko: Naru, you have to wake him with a kiss…

Naru: What?!! I don't know…

(Everyone in the studio starts chanting, "KISS HIM, KISS HIM!!!!" Naru bends down and gives him a light peck on the lips, Colin runs out)

Colin: CUT, CUT, CUT, CUT, (in Naru's face) CUT!!!! (With an angry looking face) THAT WAS TERRIBLE!!! The last time I saw that much CRAP was back when I got stuck filming that stupid group Hanson's new music video and someone slipped each of them powerful laxatives!!! (Drew and Clive Laugh) Come on, guys!!!

Naru: HEY!!! Don't EVER get in my face again!!! (The Whose Line guys chuckle in the back at the thought of someone talking back to Colin in this skit)

Colin: Oh, can it!!! You were the worst one of all!!! And if you EVER use that tone of voice with me again, I'm replacing you with Paris Hilton!!! (Everyone laughs)

Naru: (Gasps in shock) You wouldn't dare!

Colin: Oh, but I would!!! Ok, what we need is some action (waves his arm around while reading the suggestion in his other hand)… I KNOW!!! Do it like you are all chickens!!! You heard me!!! CHICKENS!!! ACTION!!!

Motoko: Bwoooock—we have to find Master Sanzo, Goku… (starts acting like she is flapping wings)

Keitaro: I'm scared! I d-d-don't want t-to go up there… (hides behind Motoko)

Seta: COCK-A-DOODLE DOO!!!!

DING!!!

Seta: Tweet, Tweet!

DING!!!

Seta: Broooooowwck… Polly want a cracker… (Kitsune acts like she's giving him a cracker) Master Sanzo is up here!!! I didn't think you'd make it this far Goku!!!

Keitaro: I-I'm n-not here r-right now… (Points at Motoko) She c-can fight you f-f-for me…

Kitsune: P-kok… Eating a high ranking official like Sanzo will grant us eternal power!!!

Seta: (pecking into the air) So we fully intend to feast upon Master Sanzo!!! AHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!!

DING!!!!

Seta: Hee hee hee!!!

DING!!!

Seta: (pulls his hand out of his pocket) Look, it's a stone I passed last week!!! (Everyone laughs and looks at him funny)

Naru: Save me!!! (flaps arms like wings)

Motoko: Not if I can help it… Bwoooock!!!!

Seta: A duel, eh? (Seta and Motoko act like they are pecking at each other, Motoko falls)

Kitsune: Brooooock… You two will fight and whoever wins gets Master Sanzo!

Naru: Whaaat??? (Sounds almost like a chicken instead of her saying 'what')

Keitaro: I d-don't want to f-fight! I'm scared.

Naru: (flapping her arms) Goku, don't be such a scaredy-cat! Bwooook…

Seta: Bwooooock, Fight me, Goku!!!

DING!!!

Seta: Anyone for a game of poker?

(Keitaro flinches, Colin walks out)

Colin: CUT, CUT, CUT!!!! (Looks at Keitaro) What the hell were you supposed to be?!

Keitaro: I was acting chicken… You know, scared…

Colin: I MEANT THE ANIMAL, YOU IDIOT!! (Keitaro flinches at this) All right… (Looks at Seta) By the way, what was with the parrot earlier?

Seta: I dunno; I wasn't thinking…

Colin: YOU IDIOT, YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO THINK!!! I DO THE THINKING AROUND HERE!!!

DING!!!

Colin: I liked it. It was a nice touch… (Looks around dumbfounded for a second, then straightens up) Alright!!! Let's try something a little different!

Seta: Yes!

DING!!!

Seta: No!!!

DING!!!

Seta: Dattebayo!!! (A/N: That was for all my Naruto fans)

Colin: We need some emotion!!!

Seta: Emotion, yes!

Colin: Thank you, mister brown-noser!!! DID I ASK YOU TO SPEAK??!

Seta (pouts) No...

DING!!!

Seta: (Tugs on his collar like Rodney Dangerfield) No Respect!!!

DING!!!

Seta: Git-er-dun!!!

Colin: I have a joke for you! Knock Knock!!!

Seta: Who's there?

Colin: SHUT UP!!! (Seta pouts) Ok, let me think… (Examines slip) I know!!! Do it like you are all irate hockey players!! IRATE HOCKEY PLAYERS—because I said so!!! ACTION!!!

Motoko: Quick, Goku… We have to try to score a goal to gain some points on the evil Bullsatan's team! (Skates around to Keitaro)

Keitaro: Lookie there! (points towards Naru) They got our goalie!!!

Seta: Stop right there, Goku!!! We got your beautiful goalie, and we will break her nose if you try to score a goal!!! (Acts like he's swinging his hockey stick towards Naru's face)

Naru: Nooooo!!! Help me!!!

Kitsune: (Sitting next to Naru acting like she's restraining Naru) That's right, for I am jealous that I wasn't blessed with as beautiful of a nose as she has…

Seta: So together we shall defeat your team! AHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!!

Motoko: (Swinging her hockey stick) I don't think so!!! Get your -BEEP- -BEEP- self over here so I can break your nose!!! (A/N: Motoko is imitating the beeps, there is no explicit language coming from her mouth)

(Seta and Motoko start fighting)

Keitaro: Oh for the love of… You SUCK!!! I'm gonna kick your ass!!! (Runs to Seta, starts swinging his hockey stick at him)

Kitsune: HEY!!! EVERYBODY FREEZE, OR SHE LOSES HER NOSE!!! (holding her hockey stick in front of Naru's face)

Colin: CUT, CUT, CUT, CUT!!!!! That was crappier than the restrooms at a laxative research facility!!! C'mon, what was that??!

Kitsune: You said hockey players…

Colin: (right in her face) I SAID IRATE HOCKEY PLAYERS!!! THAT MEANS ANGRY, LIKE WHAT I AM!!! In case you guys forgot, hockey players wear masks to protect their faces, which last time I checked, CONTAINED THEIR NOSES!!!

Kitsune: (In the quietest Kitsune voice) Sorry…

Colin: I know you are!!! You all are the sorriest people I've ever directed!!!

Keitaro: Heeey….

Colin: Hey, Keitaro was right when he said you all sucked! Look how clean the carpet is!!! (Examines his notes) Alright… (gasps with an idea) YES!!! I GOT THE PERFECT IDEA!!! You two, (points at Seta and Keitaro) act like you just took a powerful aphrodisiac, and you two… (points at Naru and Kitsune) You two are the mud wrestlers entertaining them!!! And you (points at Motoko) are Foghorn Leghorn as a stripper!!! BELIEVE ME ON THIS ONE!!! Ready?? ACTION!!!

Naru/Kitsune/Motoko: WHAT?!!!

Keitaro: Mmmmm… Look at those two… (points at Naru and Kitsune, who act like they are wrestling) What I could do to them….

Motoko: (sighs) I say—I say, boy, I bet you didn't know Roosters could do this… (Dancing as seductively as she can, which is hardly seductive, acts like she is sliding her pants off of herself) You ever—I say you ever seen these kinda panties on a rooster? Oh, look, I say, look! It's Drew Carey giving me hundred dollar bills while munching on jelly donuts…

(Clive, Ryan, and Wayne all laugh)

Seta: (Watching Naru and Kitsune) Oh, yeah, that's right! Kitsune, after you're done with Sanzo, it's my turn…

Kitsune: (sliding around, fighting Naru) That's right! After I defeat you, Bullsatan and I shall devour you!!!

Seta: (in a seductive voice) That's right, Master Sanzo… We're gonna eat you up… Hehehehehehe!!!

Naru: I don't think so! You shall never defeat me!!! Help me Goku!!!

Motoko: (Dances right in Seta's face) I say there, Bullsatan! I say, you, I say have to get through me to get Master Sanzo!

Seta: Oh, yeah… (Seductively) Then when I defeat you, I shall devour both you and Sanzo…

Motoko: You I say, you boy couldn't handle a rooster like me…

Keitaro: Yeeeeaaahhh… I'm just enjoyin the show… Watchin' Sanzo and whoever the hell Kitsune is supposed to be, fightin' in mud… (A/N: They forgot Kitsune's character name)

Kitsune: (Holding Naru up) Alright, here's the deal. Bullsatan and Goku will fight to the death and whoever wins gets Sanzo…

Seta: You take her, Goku… I'm takin her (Motoko) out and orderin two chicken thighs and two chicken breasts if ya know what I mean…

Motoko: Oooh, You, I say, boy, you are naughty…

(Keitaro jumps in and is punched out by Kitsune, who is punched down by Naru)

Naru: Oh, Goku, I have avenged you and defeated Koushu… Please don't die on me now… I shall reward you for coming to my rescue with a kiss!

(She bends down to kiss him, and he grabs her face)

Keitaro: Ohhhh, yeah… You just thought I was out… (He pulls her into a nice passionate kiss)

BUZZ!!! BUZZ!!! BUZZ!!!!

Drew: Stop!!!

Naru: Wooo!!!! Nice kiss… Drew, we're gonna need a few minutes, and I mean a few minutes!!!

(Everyone laughs)

Drew: I wish I could give points for that but I wasn't paying attention. I was too busy eating donuts and lard… (Everyone laughs) I'm such a fatass… (Everyone laughs harder)

Ryan: Wow… Even here in Japan, people make fun of you!

Drew: Ok!!! I see that tonight's winner is none other than Shinobu Maehara!!! (Everyone claps, Shinobu smiles and waves) How does it feel to be there, Shinobu? You are the only guest star to ever appear behind my desk…

Shinobu: It feels great, Drew!!!

Ryan: She sure is a lot easier on the eyes, too Drew! (Everyone laughs)

Drew: So, Shinobu's gonna sit behind the desk while we act out a few games for you. OK, I'm going to actually sit out here with the improvisers, and Shinobu will man the buzzer. Are you ready, Shinobu?

Shinobu: I think so…

Clive: I'll help you out…

Ryan: Be careful, Shinobu. There's a lotta power in sitting behind the desk…

Drew: Our next game is called Three-Headed Broadway Star and it's for Wayne, myself and Colin, as well as Laura Hall on the piano, and Linda Taylor on the guitar, and special guest, Kanako!!!

(Kanako walks out, sits in the stool)

Clive: That's right! How're you doing, Kanako?

Kanako: Pretty good… Wait, why isn't big brother going to sing to me?

Keitaro: Because I can't sing…

DING!!!

Keitaro: Because I am on my smoke break!!!

DING!!!

Keitaro: Because I don't wanna…

Ryan: Nah… It's because it's a roast… Keitaro's too nice!

(Everyone laughs)

Drew: That's right, Kanako. Leave it to the pros for this one…

Clive: (laughing) Funny you mention it being a roast, and at the same time, Kanako, you have your big brother to thank for this one… These guys are going to sing to Kanako like a strange three-headed Broadway star making the song up one word at a time, and Keitaro picked the name of this Broadway musical, and it's called 'You Love Your Brother Too Much.'

Kanako: What?!!

Drew: 'You Love Your Brother Too Much,' one word at a time, starting with Wayne…

(Music Starts)

Wayne: You

Drew: Love

Colin: Your

Wayne: Brother

Drew: Too

Colin: Much…

Wayne: You

Drew: Have

Colin: The

Wayne: Backwoods

Drew: Arkansas

Colin: Touch…

(Kanako sweatdrops, looks at the guys funny)

Wayne: When

Drew: I

Colin: Look

Wayne: At

Drew: Your

Colin: Ways,

Wayne: I

Drew: Am

Colin: Glad

Wayne: That

Drew: I

Colin: Stray…

Wayne: Your

Drew: Incestual

Colin: Ways

Wayne: Scare

Drew: Me…

Colin: You

Wayne: Frighten

Drew: Keitaro

Colin: Tee—hee

(Everyone laughs)

Wayne: You

Drew: Love

Colin: Keitaro

Wayne: Too

Drew: Much

Colin: As

Wayne: Nasty

Drew: As

Colin: Yaoi Pairings

(Drew and Wayne look at Colin and Giggle, everyone laughs and Kanako sweatdrops)

Wayne: (giggling) Such…

Drew: You

Colin: Should

Wayne: Understand

Drew: He

Colin: Loves

Wayne: Naru

Drew: So

Colin: Grand…

(Music slows marking the end of the song)

Wayne: Just

Drew: Go And, oops…

(Everyone looks at Drew and Laughs)

Colin: Find A

(More Laughing)

Wayne: (giggling) New

Drew/Colin/Wayne: M-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-n…

BUZZZZZZZ!!!!

Clive: Very nice.

Kanako: I already said earlier, I'm over Keitaro. I respect his and Naru's relationship!

Ryan: Sure ya do… I heard you backstage contemplating how to get Keitaro away from Naru…

DING!!!

Ryan: Sure ya do… I heard you talking earlier about how posing nude in his favorite porno magazine was gonna get him…

DING!!!

Ryan: You might respect them, but I heard you talking earlier about you want to seduce Drew Carey to your bed using only deep dish cheese pizzas and whipped cream…

Kanako: WHAT?!!! I said nothing of the sort…

Drew: Wait, what do you want to do to me? (Everyone laughs)

Clive: Anyhow, 2000 points to Kanako for putting up with us, and 1000 to Colin for messing up and saying two words, as well as mentioning the word 'Yaoi'…

Colin: Thanks…

Kanako: You guys are mean! I'm leaving! This isn't the last of me, Hinata-Sou!!!

(Kanako Storms out)

Keitaro: She always was a drama queen!

DING!!!

Keitaro: She forgot to take her happy pills again today…

DING!!!

Keitaro: Damn siblings!

Ryan: What a baby…

Shinobu: C'mon guys, isn't there another game to play?

Clive: There sure is, Shinobu… It's for Drew, Colin, and Ryan, as well as Keitaro, Naru, and Kitsune…

Kitsune: Wow, I get another cameo…

Drew: Alright! Shinobu, what's the card say we gotta do?

Shinobu: In this game, Drew, Keitaro and Kitsune are going to act out a scene in a foreign language, and Ryan will translate for Drew, Colin will translate for Kitsune, and Naru will translate for Keitaro…

Drew: Oh, boy… What's the scene?

Shinobu: (Laughing) Hunky Yard Guy, Keitaro starts flirting with feisty housewife, Kitsune… Wow, this is great!!! Anyhow, Kitsune's temperamental husband, Drew comes home with a gift for her…

Drew: (laughing) Wow. What language are we mimicking, Shinobu?

Shinobu: Swedish!

Drew: Ok, then, in Swedish…

Keitaro: Schronde die hausepuffie insee die poofenstoof… (Goes to Kitsune, strokes her cheek. She blushes slightly)

Naru: My dear, this pile of leaves is a gorgeous as you… (Keitaro points to ground beside him)

Kitsune: Verbee dee ootreege…

Colin: I'm feisty!!!

Keitaro: Vindee oober dee zeedum fir creezee fulleenee poopeennee…

Naru: I know you are, and that's why I like you so much… I wish you weren't married… (Keitaro resumes stroking Kitsunes cheek, Kitsune grins)

Kitsune: (Hugs Keitaro tightly) Keeper dee freezee poofee huse herrdee perrdee…

Colin: Here, lay on my bosom. I have also developed feelings for you… (Kitsune and Keitaro laugh)

(Drew walks in)

Drew: Herrdee verrdee findeee verrdee hindeee…

Ryan: Hey, what are you doing with my wife? (Drew points at Keitaro) Oh, I brought you something, honey… (Drew hands something to Kitsune)

Kitsune: Schnekey du reezee poo…

Colin: Oh, thanks sweetie.. Oh, look.. Just what I've always wanted, a pack of moldy cheese… I'm gonna put it over the fireplace. Oh, I love you, honey (kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss). (Kitsune acts like she is kissing Drew on the cheek…)

Drew: Verdee heemee turdee purdee vendee humee…

Ryan: What about him? You can't possibly love him… (Drew points at Keitaro again, Kitsune looks at him)

Keitaro: Finde keemay toody froody von doome toodee…

Naru: But I love her more!!! (Keitaro looks at Kitsune, who blushes, and looks at Drew)

Kitsune: Merdee birdee kissee kissee…

Colin: We shall have a kissing contest, and I will choose who I love more. I will start with my husband… Come here husband!!! (Kitsune looks at Drew, who pulls her into a dramatic big kiss…)

Drew: Verndee herrr….

Ryan: Wow, that reminds me of eating Pizza…

Kitsune: Veeerdee peerdy keenee moodee.. Deemee frooloo doo teepee…

Colin: Oh, I love it when you talk about food!!! Eh, who am I kidding… I love my husband more (Kitsune looks at Drew with a smile on her face) because he makes better money than say, you!!! (She points at Keitaro…)

Keitaro: Heenee peedee poo for feedy…

Naru: I guess that leave me with just one thing… (Keitaro looks puzzled, then walks over to Naru)

Naru: Whaa—mmmfff…. (Keitaro embraces her and gives her a very passionate kiss which she returns, with a slight squeeze of his rear)

Drew: Hoozee poozee verdee hrredee verdee…

Ryan: How come you never kiss me like that???

Kitsune: Keedee verdee perdee pie fur cheese…

Colin: Because your breath tastes like that moldy cheese pizza pie you ate last week…

DING!!!

Colin: Because your breath tastes like rotten fish and old cheesy crusted pie tins…

DING!!!

Colin: Because your breath tastes like Velveeta covered rusty license plates and cow pies!

(Keitaro and Naru are still kissing)

BUZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!

Clive: Ok, that's enough… We're on national TV here…

(Naru and Keitaro separate)

Drew: Hey, that just happened earlier!!!

Clive: So, 1000 points to Drew who is in love with Pizza more than Kitsune…

Drew: Speaking of Pizza, our special guest is in the kitchen… Lets go down there…

Shinobu: (Freaking out) What are they doing in my kitchen???!

Drew: Our special celebrity guest is the prize…

Girls: What??! (Everyone 'oohs and aahs')

(Everyone goes down to the kitchen doors)

(Suddenly, Kentaro appears in the kitchen window)

Kentaro: I'm determined to get another cameo on this stupid show…

Ryan: Look, it's that other Keitaro guy…

Kentaro: It's KENTARO with an N!!!

Ryan: Whatever… What the hell are you doing here?

Kentaro: I've come to drive you Americans away and protect the girls!!!

Shinobu: They are very nice guys!

Naru: And why are you coming in the kitchen window?!

Kentaro: Uhh, I--…

Drew: Shut up, other-Keitaro!!! I'm talking here!!! Girls, remember that prize I promised you all? This is it… Meet our special guest, The Swedish Chef!!!

Girls: WHAAAAT?!

Chef: (singing, holding metal pots in his hands, standing in front of a table full of ingredients, dancing) Vee dish der boo nee der vee dish skidoo, vindee dish spoonies scheemees BORK! BORK! BORK! (Throws pots behind him. One knocks one of Shinobu's favorite frying pans on the floor. The other pot flies through the window, hitting Kentaro in the face, knocking him out and he falls two stories where his fall is broken by one angry Kanako who is immediately knocked out. Chef looks back when the crashing noises happen…)

Shinobu: (frantic) EEEK!!! My pan!!!

Naru: Good going, Chef… You took care of that perverted peeper!

Colin: (looking out the window) Looks like whatever-the-hell-his-name-is took out your little sister, Keitaro… Should we help them?

Keitaro: Nah! They're perfect for each other… Chef, I see all these yummy things on the table. What are you making us today?

Chef: Vendee herr de scheeemees pepperunee peezza… Ryun und Culeen de vendee heelpeen mee… (Points at Ryan and Colin and then to the spot next to him)

Ryan: Helping hands?

Chef: Ja, der heeelping hendees….

Colin: (Chuckles) Okay…

(Ryan and Colin get into position, Ryan has an apron on)

Chef: Veedesh dee peezza duoogh (picks up dough, throws it in air, catches it)

Ryan: Right, and next we need some cheese to go with it… (grabs tomato sauce spills it all over the place, except the pizza) The cheese! The cheese! The cheese!! (drops sauce, finds cheese) And, there we go… Next we put it all over the pizza, and a perhaps, little for me… (puts cheese on pizza, and stuffs a handful in his mouth.) Some for you, Chef? (Chef takes a handful and stuffs it in his mouth)

Chef: Mershnee veeendee herr die tumetu sooce-a… (looks for tomato sauce) No sooce-a… Eha!!! Heeere vee have dee tumetus (grabs a tomato in one hand) und heeere vee have dee boomashooten! (grabs a rifle in the other)

Ryan: Woah! (Throws hands in front of him) What's that for?

Naru: Oh my god, he's got a gun in the house!!

Motoko: He's got a gun!!! I must stop him!!!

Suu: That is a very old rifle… (Shinobu is cowering behind her)

Chef: Stoop-a!!! (puts his hand out in a 'hold it' type gesture) Vishne tumetu sooce-a!!! (He throws the tomato in the air, and shoots it; the girls and Ryan flinch as the gun fires. A rain of tomato sauce rains down ONLY on the pizza. As it does, Drew, and Wayne laugh)

Drew: Wow, now that's one way to make tomato sauce!!

Suu: That looks yummy!!!

Motoko: For once Suu, You're absolutely correct! It is yummy!

Ryan: What's next, Chef?

Chef: Neext, ver adden dee pepperunees putten-on-em.

Ryan: All I see is a big pepperoni sausage. (Points at it) Wait! Are you gonna do what I think you are going to do?

Chef: Ja, ver moousten dee pepperunees mit dee boomashooten!

Ryan: Why did I even ask… (Puts hand over face as he shakes his head no. Chef throws pepperoni sausage in air, shoots them, and PERFECTLY sliced pepperonis fall all over the place. Also, a dead bird falls down onto the floor… Ryan and Chef look down at the bird, and Colin is giggling behind him) I tawt I taw a tweety bird!!!

Chef: Oooopsiiidoseeee! Vindee dee birdee dee shooten-at-um.

Ryan: I did, I did taw a tweety bird… It fell down, go BOOOOM!!! (everyone laughs) Ok, pepperonis!!! (Ryan picks a handful up and shoves them in his mouth) MMM!!!

Chef: (Looks at Ryan, scratches his head) Verrdee birdee dee sloppy eaten toomuch!

Ryan: (Holds hand under mouth, spits pepperonis in hand) Look, I'm the Swedish Chef! Bork, Bork, Bork!!! (Throws pepperonis behind him, which splat on the frying pans, everyone laughs)

Shinobu: (Flailing her arms) You guys are making a huge MESS in my kitchen!!!

Drew: It's ok, we will clean it up later…

Shinobu: Promise?

Drew: I will personally help…

Ryan: Ok, now we put this in the oven, right Chef?

Chef: Ja, vee poot eet in dee ooven. (Takes pizza and puts it in the oven)

Ryan: What's this watermelon for? (Points at watermelon)

Chef: Und fer Mutsumi: Sleeced Vetermelun mit dee boomashooten… (Pulls out a bowl, throws a half of a watermelon in the air, shoots it, and it explodes and splats all over Keitaro)

Keitaro: aww, man, I just got these clothes outta the laundry…

Drew: Well, Watermelon is a hot new fashon this fall.

Naru: I could help fix that later… (Turns around and quietly laughs pervertedly, while the others sweatdrop and Keitaro turns a shade of red that would make a Ferrari jealous)

Ryan: (puts his hands on his cheeks in a freaked out type look—think the Home Alone scene) Oh my god!! Naru being perverted?!!! The world's gonna end!!!

(Everyone laughs, Naru blushes darker than Keitaro)

Chef: Ooopsiees, dee boomashooten veederr dee wrong angle…

Ryan: Silly chef… (Chef throws other watermelon in air at different angle, shoots it, and catches 5 perfect slices of watermelon, puts them in bowl)

Mutsumi: (face lights up) Aaaaahhhhh! Ara, That looks yummy!!! (Chef hands bowl of slices to Mutsumi) Thank you, Chef!!!

Chef: Und fer Suu, banana-na-na-na-na-na split!

Suu: Oh boy!!! Banana-na-na-na-na---… (Starts out fast, then slows down in confusion) What is that?

Motoko: I think he means 'banana.'

Ryan: Right… First we get the banana… (Grabs a banana off the table, peels it, puts it in his mouth)

Chef: Nooooo!!! Ryun moosta noo veerdee shnee bana-na-na-na-na eaten!!! (Grabs another banana, peels it, puts it in a dish) Veeende shner dee eece creem adden…

Ryan: (spits remaining banana in Colin's hand, who drops it) Oooh. Is that Chocolate?

Girls: (to Ryan spitting out the banana) EEEEW!!!

Chef: Ja, dat eesa chuculete-a… (Scoops up a small bunch in a spoon, and feeds it to Ryan, who has his hands on his hips)

Ryan: (smiles) Wow!! That _is_ GOOD Chocolate! (Chef nods, then puts two scoops in the banana bowl)

Chef: Veendee herr dee sprinkleeeeees. (Passes banana bowl to Ryan)

Ryan: Right, we need the sprinkleeeees!!! (Drew laughs at Ryan's imitation of Chef's pronunciation of 'sprinkles', Ryan picks up the bowl of sprinkles) We don't want too many there… (Throws way too many sprinkles out of bowl, catches half on the banana split) Hut!!! There we go!!! Looks like Walt Disney threw up, doesn't it? (Everyone laughs, Chef chuckles)

Chef: (Chuckling) Hee hee hee, die wulta disneee sprinkleees threwem uppen…

Suu: That looks extra yummy!!!

Ryan: We can't forget the Whipped Cream, can we Chef…

Chef: Verrrdee Vipped Cream… (Picks up the can of Reddi Whip, sprays the banana split)

Ryan: Hey, Chef, does that stuff taste good?

Chef: Hmmmm… (Sprays some of the stuff in his mouth, tastes it) Verdeee berrdiiie yummy…

Ryan: Really? Let me try…

Naru: Oh god, not this again…

Ryan: You're right… No more whipped cream for me…

Naru: Is that root beer on the table? I think a root beer float would be extra yummy…

Ryan: Here Suu.

Chef: Suu's banana-na-na-na-na-na split… Und fer Naru, scmishnee ver Root Beer Flooten… Ryun, dee Root beer?

Ryan: Right! (picks up root beer, shakes it a bit)

Naru: Don't do that! It'll go flat!!!

Motoko: What are you doing?!!

Ryan: (shakes the root beer with every word) What's wrong? This root beer will be just fine!!! I know what I am doing. The root beer will be nice and yummy!!!

Chef: Nooooooo!!!!!! (puts hands in front of his face)

Ryan: (Looks away, everyone ducks, opens the root beer, which sprays all over the place) Ahh, there… That was refreshing!!!

Naru: You got it all over the place!!!!

Ryan: There's still some in the can… (Grabs a Sundae glass and pours it in, filling about ¼ of the glass with what is left in the can…) Chef, Ice cream, please?

Chef: Verdeee schnerrr dee eece creeeam… (Scoops two scoops of ice cream into the sundae glass)

Ryan: Right, and now for more whipped cream… (Sprays too much Reddi whip all over the glass and his hand) Not too much there… (Colin stops spraying the Reddi Whip) Maybe a bit more… (Colin sprays more Reddi Whip all over the glass and his hand again, then stops when the mass of Reddi Whip collapses on the table.) There we go!!!

Naru: That's too much!!!

Motoko: Easy, Ryan…

Keitaro: Wow, Ryan, that looks delicious, but you might want to put this cherry on top! (Grabs a cherry and puts it on top of the root beer float)

Ryan: Ahh, thank you, Keitaro… Here ya go, Naru…

Chef: Verdeee biddee bee hoota sahkee fur Kitsooneee…. (grabs a bottle of fresh, hot sake, hands it to Kistune)

Kitsune: For me? Wow!!! Thank you!!!

Ryan: What do we have for Motoko?

Chef: Veendish ver dee pieeee fur Motoko…

Ryan: What? This? (Points at the pie)

Motoko: What is it? (Comes up to Ryan) Where is it? (Ryan has picked up the pie and is hiding it from Mokoto's vision)

Ryan: (points on the table) Right there…

Motoko: I don't see anything..

Ryan: Look closer! (Motoko leans in over the table, just in range)

Motoko: I don-… (As Motoko leans in just right, Ryan swings his arm around, and splatters the pie right in Motoko's face… Everybody starts laughing)

Chef: Ahahaaaaahahahaaa!!! Verdee perdee pie in Motoko's faceeee…

(Ryan starts laughing)

Motoko: (growls) How dare you insult me, Ryan!!!

Ryan: Relax, Motoko… Here… (Passes her a towel) Wipe yourself off…

DING DING DING!!!!!

Ryan: What was that?

Shinobu: That was the timer on the oven!!! The pizza is done…

Chef: Veendee herr dee pizza finished… (Walks to oven, puts on mitts, and opens the oven only to be greeted by a tall pizza-like figure…)

Pizza: Where's Lone-Star? I want my 1 million space bucks!!!

Ryan: Looks like this one needs to cook a little bit longer!!! (Chef closes the oven door)

Drew: Well, girls, are you ready for the real prize???

Naru: I thought this was the prize…

Motoko: (Now cleaned up) Yes, what are you trying to pull?

Drew: This was just a fake prize. The real prize is right here in Clive's hand!

Clive: That's right!!! For being such good sports and putting up with us today, we're giving you $25,000!!!

Drew: Don't ask how much that is in Yen! I forgot!!! There's more, too!

Clive: That's right!!! You girls are all getting a 14 day eastern and western Caribbean Cruise, all expenses paid, in your own first class staterooms with verandas!!!

Girls: Wow!!!!

Ryan: Hey, Suu, the cruise ships are all-you-can eat buffets….

Suu: Wo-o-o-o-o-ow!!!!!!

Keitaro: That's great, guys!!!

(Haruka walks in)

Haruka: I just heard… A small portion of the $25,000 will help in maintenance fees on the building…

Drew: Wow, hey guys, that's all the time we have for Whose Line is it Anyway: Love Hina edition… We hope you enjoyed the show!!!

Clive: That's right, and from all of us: Wayne Brady, Keitaro Urashima, Ryan Stiles, Colin Mochrie, Brad Sherwood, Laura Hall, Linda Taylor, Drew Carey, special guest, Swedish Chef and me Clive Anderson, saying good night… Goodnight!!!

Girls: (looking at the camera) Goodnight!!! (They all Bow)

* * *

Well, guys, that's it!!! Thanks for reading my first ever fanfiction, and laughing along with me at this story!!! I hope everyone enjoyed it!!! I appreciate all the reviews from everyone!!! Please leave some more reviews up!!! If I get enough, I might just do another Whose Line show using another anime… Thanks again, guys!!!

**---ALSO--- Check my profile for hints of a surprise that I'm giving my loyal readers that is rated M and related to this story…**


	12. Bonus

Hey guys, long time no see. First off, with the BAD NEWS--I don't know If I'll continue the the Too Hot For TV edition of this story. It didn't get many hits, or reviews, which gives me the idea that it wasn't liked. Ok, now for the **GOOD NEWS!!!** For all you Naruto Fans, there is now a Naruto Edition of Whose Line Is It Anyway, in the same style of the Love Hina Edition. Drew, Ryan, Colin, and Wayne (for now) venture to Konoha to film an hour long special of the show, the same way they did at Hinata-Sou, with only one person knowing, and everyone in the dark, and lots of laughs and randomness. So if you're a Naruto fan, check it out under my stories authored on my author page. As always, thanks for reading!

Enjoy!!

-JonJ


End file.
